milliways_bar | (no subject)

Smudge checked to see that the coast was clear of his overdue-rent-seeking-landlord, then ran down the corridor and into his tiny apartment. He nimbly stumbled over the various bits of interesting junk stacked around the place, past the shelf of sadly-nonsentient goo he had been patiently nurturing, and-

In the wall was a door that he was pretty sure had not been there before. Smudge blinked.

Well, maybe the bathroom door got tired of its location and decided to move; but no, that door was still there in position behind the couch. His curiosity piqued, Smudge trudged over to the door (a small, many-legged thing jolted out of its afternoon nap and scuttled hurriedly out of the way), pulled it open and peeked in.

It looked like some kind of bar. Smudge stared. He stepped in fully and shut the door, not noticing when it promptly vanished.

"Hey," he demanded of no one in particular. "Where did you guys come from?"

If this bar had always been part of his apartment, it would at least explain the rent.

[ooc: Mun is flying off to New York tonight and won't be able to tag for a day or so. :D]

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"The kingdom of Baron."

Smudge might note that the man who's answering is covered in dragon-themed armor. It's possible such a thing is not common in his apartment.

Also he's trolling, not that he'd admit it even if he knew the term.

Whoa, that's some fascinating clothing choices. Smudge is impressed.

"Where's that?"

If there was a whole kingdom inside his apartment that he had been unaware of, Smudge was going to be so mad at his landlord.

"Several leagues to the northwest of Mysidia."

Kain considers, then adds, "The Devil's Pass would be the fastest route, but it's blocked at the moment."

If there's a kingdom in Smudge's apartment, it's underpriced no matter what kind of rent he's paying.

"I've never heard of those places. Were they inside my apartment the whole time?"

"Not at all."

Well, if he's going to ask the wrong sort of questions, it's hardly Kain's fault if he comes to the wrong conclusions, right? (Wrong.)

"Then where were they?"

"On Earth, of course. In the southern hemisphere." Clearly he's being helpful.

As it happens, Kain doesn't sound anything like he comes from Latin America or Africa or Australia.

A lady with pink and blue hair and a giant fuck-off axe thing is sitting at a nearby table, heavy boots crossed over each other on the table itself, her chair rocking back on the back two legs. The scythe - for it's that, not an axe - is resting on her lap and on top of that, she's painting her fingernails.

She glances up when he comes in, and raises an eyebrow.

"All of us?"

Smudge isn't wholly aware of the differences between various large pointy things, and if it looks like an axe thing, it's an axe thing.

"Where'd you get that axe?" he asks, forgetting to answer the question. Because axe thing.

She considers the question, twisting her mouth to the side.

"A demon gave it to me."

Is it important?

"It's cool. Can I get one?"

"No," Mel says simply. "There's only one. And it's mine."

He can try and take it from her, if he likes.

(Don't try and take it from her.)

"We could share."

"I don't wanna share."

Why not?

"Cause it's my ruttin' scythe," says Mel. "I need it to kill things."

What kind of things?

She shrugs.

"Vampires. Demons. Annoying bar patrons."

That last one is a joke. Probably.

"Nowhere, we're all figments of your imagination," comes the answer from one brightly blue-haired mutant currently...well, it looks like she's playing with dayglo-yellow silly putty; what she's really doing is cleaning her metal-covered hands.

"Next question?"

"My imagination never worked this well." At least, this was the first time the figments talked back to him. But Smudge is distracted by the silly putty. "Hey, is that thing sentient? I've been trying to make a goo army, but that never worked out."

"Nah, just cleaning putty. Keeps water out of the wires," she says, shrugging. "Maybe you drank something different this time. Or maybe you've been pulled into the Bar at the End of the Universe. You could always flip a coin."

"Oh." He's a bit disappointed. Silly putty and other kinds of goo always look way too alien-like for him to believe that they're some mundane nonsentient Earth thing.

He hadn't been drinking anything different, and he had no coins to spare.

"The Bar at the End of the Universe?"

"Yeah. Kinda weird, kinda...well. It's a bar, but look around at the patrons. Hell, look at me, unless you've got mutants in your world."

Because then she'd just be anticlimactic, really.

Smudge looked around. Well, that was definitely a weirder collection of humans... and... non-humans... than he was used to. He'd sometimes suspected there were mutants in his world, but no one ever believed him.

"Why's it at the end of the universe?"

Now that takes Noriko a while to answer.

"...Cheap rent? I have no idea, really," she says. "Where'd you come from, anyway?"

Smudge shrugs. "New York."

"Hey, small world. I'm form New York too," she says. "Or, currently. Originally from Japan. You live in the city?"

"Yeah. I used to live on the streets, but then I got an apartment and just now there was a door that led me here-"

He turns to point out the door.

Only now there's no more door.

He stares. "Hey, where'd it go?"

"It does that sometimes, don't worry. It just means you get to explore around some before you go back."

"Does it come back?"

"Unless you're dead, yeah," she says. "And you don't look dead."

Well, one can never be too certain of those things.

"So this is... a bar?"