milliways_bar | (no subject)

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X slips into the main bar from her room in the Staff hallway.

The silence -- and lack of cats -- was worth not having to go back to Paris just yet.

Soon. When she is better.

In the meantime, she makes her way to a corner table, stopping briefly at Bar to order something for dinner.

Spaghetti is an old comfort food, and when combined with a root beer float it is one of the best.

Go figure.

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X tilts her head, studying him.

"They did not come to your city?"

Beat.

"Or you did not go to theirs."

Or both?

"The only costume who ever came to Hub City was Green Arrow. And he has no powers.

"And when I went to other places, I tended to steer clear of the big guns. The only superhumans I met before coming here I met in a place called Khandaq. And that was sort of by accident." That is, Renee stopped a suicide attack, and Black Adam wanted to thank her.

"I am allowed to ask why?"

Beat.

"You avoid the big guns."

She pronounces that last phrase very carefully. It's not a word pairing that she uses often.

(Or ever, really.)

"Honestly? I always felt out of my league. I was good at what I did. But I didn't have powers. Or funding. Or a track record anyone outside of Hub City knew about.

"Did you know I lived in Chicago for a year and there was never one news story about me?" He ranked behind the Blue Beetle!

X shrugs, one-shouldered and quick.

"The news is not always accurate."

Understatement.

"Or relevant."

In case he was worried.

"But it made the point. Or I thought it did.

"You do know I was a reporter once, right?" One who of course strove for relevance and accuracy.

"You were good at it?"

Inquiring minds want to know.

"I was terrible. Until I wasn't. And then I quit when it seemed like time to move on." A very Charlie kind of answer.

"How did you know?"

X tilts her head, studying him carefully.

"That it was time. To be different."

"When it got hard to keep a job. When being a hero seemed more important. When I was sure that no one would hire me. And when I felt like it was time to change."

X does not blink.

"When you could not do it. Anymore."

Good to know.

"Pretty much.

"I suppose if that door opened and someone from a TV station came in and offered me a job tomorrow, I could do it. But it's been long enough that I don't miss it." He might miss the salary. But he will never admit that.

"You do not miss things. Most of the time."

It's only a little bit of a question.

But he did mention not really missing superheroing before. Or fighting.

"I miss people. Places. But what I was?

"Rarely. Life is change. And now that I have my life back, I embrace change." Though tomorrow he will let his latest change go.

X considers that, head tilting.

"You talk about the past. A lot."

Is that a question?

"I do not think it is the same thing."

"The same thing as moving away from the past?" He isn't sure what she means.

And is glad it took this long for that to happen. It used to be immediate.

"Yes."

X sounds certain of that, at least.

Maybe they are still on the same page! Ish.

"You do not like to let things go?"

Beat.

"Or you cannot."

That? That catches Charlie off-guard.

And for a moment, X can see the most thought chimp face you will ever see.

"For a long time, the past was all I had. I was dead. So maybe I was afraid to let go.

"Maybe I still am."

"You can learn not to. Be afraid."

This thought has a place close to her heart today.

"If you try."

"I've been learning for a while. I suppose it might be part of why I ended up here, getting second chances, instead of going...wherever." Whoever runs creation, he thinks, either has a plan for him or likes complex jokes.

"But you are still afraid."

She is not frowning now.

But she might still be asking a question.

He pauses. That thoughtful face returns. The eyes are clearly more intelligent than any ordinary chimp's.

"I think so."

X tilts her head, studying Charlie a little more carefully -- chimp face or no.

"I am allowed to ask?"

Beat.

"Why you do not know."

Is there a hint of emphasis on the 'know'? Probably.

"Because I haven't been keeping up with self-examination.

"And because I just had surgery to prevent my cancer from coming back, and that is, I am sure, quite scary by itself." Pause.

"Oh, and you can always ask me questions."

"Oh."

X falls silent for a few seconds, studying Charlie even more carefully.

"So you are not dying? Again."

Beat.

"Yet."

This pause is longer.

"Good."