Trick #5

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

Guess who hasn't been seen in Milliways since a few days after Halloween? That's right! Trixie! And guess who's been touring around in Equestria for her absence? Correct again! Trixie! This last one is the most important, so put on your thinking caps for this one. Guess where Trixie's touring has taken her today? ...No, not Paris! Jeez, do I have to explain everything to you? SHE'S IN PONYVILLE!

So that means that you now have one azure showmare decked out in purple cape and hat slamming the door open with a small explosion of magic to make her entrance that much more dramatic.

"Denizens of Milliways, prepare yourselves, for The Grrrreat and Powerful Trrrrixie hath returned!"

Comments

[ostro_goth]

"Oh no, you don't!" Teja says, from where he's leaning by the bar with his axe.

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

Trixie just rolls her eyes and scoffs, heading straight to the bar where Teja is. "The Great and Powerful Trixie treads wherever she may please. Besides, what it it you find so important to keep a loyal customer away from Milliways?"

[ostro_goth]

"No greatness, no power, and most especially, no magic," Teja says. "We all remember with terror what happened the last time."

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

"'Twas entirely unexpected the day everypony transformed into foals! Besides, that has been fixed now, as you may plainy see!" Trixie sweeps one of her legs around to indicate that no one's a foal right now. She doesn't exactly think that Teja can see it.

[ostro_goth]

"It is not the expected magic I would worry about," Teja says, "but the entirely unexpected, that you cannot control. And not only ponies were transformed into foals, but men and women into children, or unhappy youths. If such are the unexpected side effects of your magic, I would not, in your place, announce so grandly that you do these things. Tread softly. Apologise."

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

"Trixie speaks however and whatever she pleases." But Teja raises a good point. She didn't intend for all those foal age-downs to happen, and nobody did anything deserving of such a fate.

"...But if you must... then... I apologize for that." Look, she even dropped the third-pony for that apology!

[ostro_goth]

"Apologise not to me, but to those that you wronged with your ill-applied magic," Teja says.

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

"And you were one of them, were you not?" At least, that's what Trixie assumes.

[ostro_goth]

"No," Teja says. "But I saw them: - some were truly unhappy and disturbed with the effect. And I am of Security, sworn to defend the denizens of this place from any violence, or business from patrons' homes, and to punish those that break the rules."

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

"Trixie retracts her apology from you if that is indeed the case and will have to be informed of those that truly did have their ages lowered. She is also forced to inform you that Trixie has never broken a single rule before!"

[ostro_goth]

"Is there any special reason," Teja says, "why you speak in third person of yourself?"

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

"Trixie speaks the way she does in order to convey the amount of importance she is to be held at."

[ostro_goth]

"You are no more important," Teja says, sternly, "than any other patron of this place."

Pause.

"I would have you openly post a note of apology for your misapplied magic, so all that were affected may see it, and know who was responsible."

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

Oh, she'll leave a note of apology. It's the right thing to do. This heckler, however? Not so much.

"'Tis on your hooves if you choose to be so vile. Trixie cannot be responsible for you embarrassing yourself."

She then casually orders a drink from the bar. Once she gets it, she arrogantly canters away from the rude heckler.

[ostro_goth]

"Good thing," Teja says, "I have no hooves. More magic gets loose, and you shall have trouble."

He watches her, go, shaking his head.

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

Trixie continues to walk away. Still watching her? You should be watching your seat because it's suddenly wet as if it rained inside. Enjoy. Heckler.

[52_dropoff]

Huh. A talking horse who does magic. That's different. At least for Charlie.

"And pay no attention to the man behind the curtain?"

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

Trixie raises an eyebrow. Such a reference only goes over her head and leaves her confused. "You confound The Great and Powerful Trixie!"

[52_dropoff]

"I tend to confound a lot of people. It's a gift.

"What makes you great, and powerful?" And possibly egotistical?

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

Oh boy... you asked for it. Trixie immediately launches into theatrics.

"The pony standing before your very eyes, gracing your presence, is the most dazzling, most enticing, post powerful of equines. She travels through all of Equestria, telling everypony of her epic feats. She's beaten armies of manticore, stomped out millions of cockatrice, felled metal beasts that shoot out red magic, and even bested the dreaded Ursa Major itself. She's The Grrrreat and Powerful.. Trrrrixie!"

With that, she rears up into a theatrical pose. Her magic igniting under her hat summons fireworks that shoot up from behind her and explode in dazzling colors. Trixie really knows how to get someone to pay attention to her.

[52_dropoff]

"Uh-uh.

"And naturally, you tell everyone about it. I guess that saves on publicity costs and the need to send out press releases." Charlie was once a reporter. He came to hate a) self promoters (besides himself); and b) press releases.

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

"Trixie is loathe to think of situations where word does not get out of Trixie's dazzling presence! She may never have an audience if they are all unprepared, so the mare before you so generously takes it upon herself to inform everypony of her presence!"

[52_dropoff]

"Are there cable news networks where you come from?" Hey, if a horse can talk and do magic, why not CNN?

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

Ponies don't have television. "It would so greatly aid Trixie if you were to explain just what exactly a cable news network is."

[52_dropoff]

"A way of spreading news to wide audiences, that runs constantly. Someone like you would probably find a large audience." Or at least a producer willing to put her on in between the latest outrage in Bialya and the weather in Bismarck.

Charlie is so glad he turned down his offers from cable news networks.

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

Trixie's mind runs wild at the possibilities of this. It would make her goal to gather the fame she wants that much more attainable. She could even gather bigger crowds! Trixie cannot help but be excited at the possibilities of having a cable news network.

Without notice, Trixie flourishes, pointing a hoof to the door of Milliways. "The Great and Powerful Trixie shall procure her very own cable news network, and all shall remember her for eternity!"

[52_dropoff]

"TrixNews?" He might regret inflicts cable news on some unsuspecting world of talking animals. But it's hard not to wonder about it just the same.

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

"Trixie enjoys such a name, and shall be sure to enact it within Equestria!"

[52_dropoff]

Yeah, he will regret it. "Make sure to keep it fair and balanced."

What can we say? Sometimes Charlie is a real wiseguy who is far too easily amused with himself.

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

"Yes, yes, Trixie shall make sure it captivates her worldwide audience with none left to be tortured by the agony of wonder!"

[52_dropoff]

"What kind of magic do you do?" He wonders if she says her spells backwards.

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

"Trixie is a storyteller that incorporates many a different type of magic into her performances."

[52_dropoff]

"Like what?" More Barnum than Houdini? With a bit of Doug Henning? Surely not a whiff of Penn and Teller.

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

"Trixie invites you to see yoursel! She will be performing in Ponyville for the time being, so if you are able to..."

Trixie turns and grins at this enthusiastic admirer. Hey, she can get one more member into her audience, can't she?

"...Then come see Trixie's dazzling show!"

[52_dropoff]

"Wouldn't I stand out?" Ponyville...that would be way too weird.

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

Trixie lets loose a short, haughty giggle. "Nonsense! 'Twould do you well to concoct a disguise!"

[52_dropoff]

That draws a hearty laugh. "I don't think I could pass for a horse.

"Maybe a horse's ass, but that is it."

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

"Trixie deems it so that you should try harder. And ponies are not one for slavery."

[52_dropoff]

Never mind.

"So you would arrange passage then?"

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

Trixie has that effect on people.

"That may very well be possible to have arranged, yes."

[52_dropoff]

"It would be different. New." He can use some of that. "When might this happen?"

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

"Trixie starts her performances the day after tomorrow!"

[52_dropoff]

"Let me think about it." Where could he get a good horse costume.

Well, here, of course. But that doesn't mean he really wants to wear one.

[cape_and_wizard_hat]

"As you wish." With that, Trixie leaves her admirer to his own thoughts.