milliways_bar | (no subject)

Entry tags:

alyx vance,
santo

(no subject)

This morning, Hope and Eli Freeman discovered the joys of fingerpainting.

Unfortunately, they 'discovered' it all over the floor, the walls, the furniture, the robots, and their parents. Gordon and Alyx spent most of the afternoon and evening cleaning paint smears off of every surface a pair of sufficiently determined two-year-olds can reach.

Now, a very tired Alyx Vance, still spattered with primary-colored paint here and there, drags herself into Milliways and settles down for a drink. Interrupt her if you dare.

[ooc: Open until it falls off the page.]

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"Señora," says a large, muscular man in a suit and a silver mask and a Security badge, "pardon me for saying so, but you look as if you've had an exasperating day."

"Nooo, ya think?"

"I wouldn't want to presume," says Santo calmly. "Can I get you anything, or otherwise be of assistance?"

"If you have some expertise on cleaning paint off of things, that'd be great. Otherwise--" she lifts her beer bottle a little-- "I'm good, thanks."

"I have a little, if you don't mind that it was house paint, not- whatever it is you have on your arm there." Santo signals to one of the rats. "Some cooking oil, please, and a rag and some salt."

"It's finger paints," Alyx explains. "Or a reasonable facsimile thereof. My kids were playing with them today."

"Ah, so easier to remove without hurting the skin, then," says Santo, nodding. "Well, then, when the rat comes, you should soak some of the rag in the oil, and rub the rag over the paint. The salt is to scrub it off after that. It comes off very quickly when you do."

"Oh good," says Alyx with evident relief. "We wre running out of turpentine."

"The oil and salt will take a little longer, but the smell will be easier to handle," Santo assures her. "And be less of a danger to have around than turpentine. How much of a mess did the children make?"

"They managed to get paint on just about everything except the ceiling," says Alyx wearily. "And they didn't skip the ceiling for lack of trying, either."

Santo chuckles quietly. "They sound like active children," he says. "How old are they, if I may ask?"

"Two years and two months, as of this week."

"Congratulations," says Santo. "I hope they give you as much joy as they do trouble."

"Oh, they do, believe me," says Alyx. "I just... kinda have to remind myself of that when they pull stunts like this."

"I've heard that's very common," says Santo. "Perhaps when they're older you can remind them of this, and give them a taste of their own medicine. I hear children find it very embarrassing when their parents show off around people they know."

She huffs a quiet laugh. "My husband and I are already compiling a file of 'Stories To Embarrass Your Children With When They're Old Enough To Date.'"

"Planning ahead," Santo says, nodding. "Wise of you. Especially with two. You never know if one of them will be sensitive to the same things as the other."

"So I take it you're not a parent?" says Alyx conversationally as she dabs at the paint on her elbow.

"Unfortunately, no," says Santo. "Perhaps someday. Once I find the right girl to marry, anyway. For now all I have is my job, and knowing that children in my country will nearly always listen to me."

"You'll... have to remind me what that job is, exactly."

"A professional wrestler," says Santo, or rather he says luchador with the assumption that everyone (Bar included) knows what it means. "With the occasional crime-fighting or aliens or mad scientists to thwart on the side."

A hesitant pause.

"Is it... typical for professional wrestlers to do that sort of thing?"

"Only the very good ones," says Santo. "I've had to work with a few of the other ones who wrestle at the champion level from time to time, like Blue Demon and Mil Mascaras. Most luchadores never see that kind of action out of the ring."

He smiles a little and adds, "But then I hear not every other world has Martians try to invade Mexico, or international crime rings steal currency printing plates to try to ruin the economy with counterfeits. It... may be that things take a more exciting turn in general at home than they do in other places."

Edited 2014-07-17 00:04 (UTC)

Alyx is silent for a long moment. "Just Mexico, huh? No where else?"

"They threatened to use their weapons against the entire planet if humans didn't disarm all their militaries, form a single world government under a single language, and give up all weapons research," says Santo, "but to my knowledge the Martians were only actually seen in Mexico before we defeated them."

"And what did these aliens look like exactly?"

"Very much like Earth men and women, although that may have been the disguise they used," says Santo. "Or possibly their Astral Eye at work. I fought with one when he was trying to pass himself off as the wrestler Black Eagle- it was a very successful disguise."

"Probably not the same aliens that invaded my Earth, then," says Alyx with evident relief.

"Did your aliens speak Spanish?" says Santo. "The Martians did."

"Not until after they had taken over, no."

"Then I think you're probably right. The Martians never made it to conquest; they kidnapped some people, si, but they were defeated in the end and their prisoners returned to their homes safely."

"Yeahhh, the Combine didn't really bother with kidnapping people when they first invaded," says Alyx. "They just teleported in and started wiping out Earth's military."

"The Martians could appear out of nowhere," says Santo thoughtfully, "but they said they chose Mexico as their first place to arrive because we were a country committed to peace. I don't remember hearing of them attacking nations with bigger armies."

"Be grateful that your alien invaders were reasonable, that's all I'm saying."

"I am indeed," says Santo. "It could have been much worse. Your aliens sound as if no one was able to stop them."

"For a long time, no one was," says Alyx. "The Combine were in power on Earth for almost seventeen years before we managed to defeat them."

Santo whistles. "That sounds horrible," he says. "But your people- you're free now?"

She nods. "The Combine will never bother us again. Or anyone else, for that matter."

"Good," says Santo firmly. "Invaders like that shouldn't be given a second chance."

"I'm glad we agree on that." She takes another swig of beer.

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