Lovely...wonderful.

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

Lagertha is at the bar this morning, with an expression that makes it clear that she may not know what's going on, but she's pretty sure she doesn't like it.

She'd come downstairs for breakfast, but when she tried to order herself some food, these little containers started appearing along with the items she'd asked for. Little metal containers, with pictures on them. She's got a stack of them, now, and doesn't know what to do with them.

It's a safe bet that she didn't actually order the spam, spam, lingonberries, spam, spam, spam, bread, spam, spam, smoked fish, spam, spam, spam, ale, spam, spam, spam and spam.

Help an earl out?

[tinytags: lagertha]

Comments

[aaaaaaaagh_sky]

"Um," says the grey-haired but otherwise generally young-looking woman in green just down the bar. "Wow. That's... that's a lot of meat."


(OOC: Appearance notes for Ellen are here; I'm not quite up to working them into a tag gracefully tonight. My apologies!)

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

"Is that what it is?" she asks. "Some sort of meat? I didn't order it."

Her actual order all fits on one plate. Healthy-ish, and in forms she recognizes.

Well, the ale doesn't fit on a plate. But the point stands.

[aaaaaaaagh_sky]

Ellen nods. "We have something like it where I come from," she says. "It's salted, spiced, preserved pig meat. Not much texture to it, but it lasts a really long time in the can. You just have to take it out and warm it up- it's already cooked. Not sure why the Bar would hand it out at random, though."

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

She picks up one of the containers, and eyes it like she can see right through the metal.

Which she can't, of course.

"That seems useful," she says. "We store food for the winter, preserve meat--but we don't keep it in containers like these."

They do stack nicely. They could fill their storerooms better, make better use of the space.

[aaaaaaaagh_sky]

"They're a little tricky to make, from what I understand," Ellen admits. "I think they're made of tin, and you have to pump all the air out when you're sealing the lid. I've had cans of the stuff that were sealed before my father was born, and the meat inside was still good."

For a given value of good, of course. If you like that kind of thing it was very good indeed.

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

"That's a long time," she says.

Not that she looks that old, but... food that lasts two generations? She turns the container over, inspects it from all sides.

"You eat it like any other meat?"

[aaaaaaaagh_sky]

"Pretty much," says Ellen. "Although it's squishy, so it's hard to spear it on a stick. You're best off putting it on a flat surface and cooking it there, if you go to cook it again. Sometimes I cut it into cubes and cook it in whatever else I'm eating, like I would do if I had to add bear fat or something."

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

"Make it into a stew?" she asks.

That's what they normally do, just throw things in a pot and cook them together.

"Unless it would fall apart. Some things do."

She could get a cooking pot and try it in her room upstairs. If it turned out terrible, she'd be the only one to know.

[aaaaaaaagh_sky]

"I think that would work, sure," Ellen says. "I don't usually have a pot with me when I travel, so I don't make that many stews, but I seem to remember it'd cook up okay at home if you put it in a pot with noodles or vegetables or things like that. Adds some flavor to things like squirrel stew."

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

"I don't cook as much as I used to," she says. "There's too much else to do at home, and we have women to cook for us."

They need people who have that as their job. Hedeby has a lot of guests, courtiers, hangers-on, and she can't cook for all of them while also putting a raid together.

"But I liked to cook, so while I'm here, I think I might."

[aaaaaaaagh_sky]

Closed communities generally need someone who spends most of their time cooking for the others, even if the holder of the position periodically changes. It was like that in the Vault, and similar conditions prevail at the Citadel. Ellen nods. "Makes sense," she says. "Is there a stove or a fire in your room, or were you just going to make use of the kitchens here?"

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

"I have a fire in my room," she nods. "No pots for it, but I can find one somewhere, I'm sure. The kitchens here are... not exactly what I'm used to."

Not that not being used to things is bad. There are fresh foods here, whether or not they're in season, although it may not matter what season it is here at the end of the universe. Doors to all places and times could mean doors to all seasons.

And however they make the bread here, it's much better.

[aaaaaaaagh_sky]

"They can be kind of tricky if you're used to something else," Ellen agrees. "What are they like where you come from, if you don't mind my asking?"

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

"Our kitchens? We have fires. And pots and pans--those aren't too different from what I've seen here, except the materials. But we don't have a... a stove? I think they called it. More reliable than a fire, and easier to light if it goes out."

[aaaaaaaagh_sky]

"The stoves are a lot simpler than keeping a fire banked," Ellen says with a nod. "No need to gather Brahmin chips or dry sticks, no need to mess with ashes afterwards- and no smoke unless something goes wrong with the cooking."

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

"The people I watched cooking seemed to have an easy time of it," she nods. "They set the heat and it stays there, so a person who knows what she's doing won't have to worry about food being burned on the outside and raw in the middle. Food preparation wouldn't take a woman all day, unless she's cooking for a very large group--they must have time to do more things."

Things that are neither cooking nor weaving, from what she's seen. Just imagine what they could accomplish.

[this_isaturn]

The sight of all those cans makes David pause on the last step, on his way into the bar proper from upstairs.

"What in the world...?"

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

"I didn't order these," she says, as though that explains it.

Well, that's as far as she understands, anyway. The sum total of what she knows is that she'd wanted breakfast and this is what she got.

It doesn't help that she can't read.

[this_isaturn]

"I find it hard to imagine anyone would want that many tins of food, unless they were stocking up."

David approaches the bar and picks up one of the tins. "'Spam'? I'm afraid I've never heard of it. It appears to be meat, if that's of any help."

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

"I didn't order them," she says again. "I don't know if I can return them, or... or if I'll have to take them upstairs and keep them in my room. It's good to have food, just in case, but..."

But strange food, and this much of it? She's not sure what to think.

[this_isaturn]

David shrugs. "You could always open one to see if you'd like having it around. There's enough food here that you don't have to keep something around that's not to your taste. If you don't like them or don't want this many, you could probably return them."

Unless it's the Bar having her on for some reason, but he doesn't know what the joke would be.

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

"I don't think I'll eat it right now. I have this too--"

She gestures toward the plate, which has fresh food (well, the fish is smoked, but it's not in a container). It looks much more appetizing than questionable meat.

"And I wouldn't want it to spoil."

[lt_blade]

The only food sonya wanted was a blt and coffee-things the mess didn't really serve all that well. She hadn't been getting any sleep lately from how things were on base and she needed a recharge.

The sight of all the canned food still managed to draw her attention. "Stocking up for nuclear war or did you do something to make Bar play a joke on you?"

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

"I haven't done anything," she says. "Not that I know of. Unless this is what the gods here do, bestow their favor in the form of... these."

There might be strange foreign gods. She doesn't know.

[lt_blade]

"It's canned meat and.." Sonya set her food and coffee down to look at the other labels. "Lingonberries. Less honoring and more stocking up for when you've nothing else to eat, especially if it comes to eating spam." Pretty much a staple in mess halls.

Sonya took a moment to observe the woman's dress: not modern and homespun. "Usually bar just has a sense of humor when handing out things-things she things we need or something."

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

"We stock up on grain, and we smoke and pickle things," she says. "We have barrels for them, not metal."

The metal has its appeal, though. More portable, for one thing. A person wouldn't carry an entire barrel of something while traveling, but could take a small container like this. Especially if it keeps the contents from spoiling, or getting bugs inside.

[lt_blade]

Sonya tried to recall when metal cans were invented, but the closest date she could find was sometime in the 19th century. Combined with the woman's cloths and she's talking to another person from an earlier time.

"Storing things in cans is cheaper and lasts longer. It's all done in factors and you buy them in shops. We still pickle things for storage, but it's not necessary for survival as it was." Sonya wondered if the woman was told of people from different eras yet.

She held her mug, the sandwich before her only partially eaten. She wasn't that hungry anyway, only eating because it'd been awhile since her last meal.

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

"We store all our own food," she says. "Each household for itself, if they are farmers, or they give some in taxes to their chieftains, or people who live in towns just buy some at the market. I used to live on a farm, and we did a lot of fishing. The land wasn't that good."

But they did all right.

[lt_blade]

In the army, there was a lot to be said for being straight forward, yet there was a lot of what couldn't be said either. Sonya learned to hold a poker face as well as hear what was said between lines.

Everything the woman told her spoke to her being from way into the past.

"Some of the places I've lived had a similar trade system, but only because the currency value of everything was so high-most people didn't bother with it except for bills and taxes." And even then it was pinching. "Military bases have all their food taken to the mess hall, most if it's shipped in cans or bags for easy storage. Doesn't always taste good, but no one gets sick from it."

Not entirely, but then she grew up needing an iron stomach.

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

"We have smoked meat and fish, on our ships," she says. "Never enough ale, and the water gets a strange taste from its containers. But I suspect you'll never find a fighter anywhere who doesn't complain about the food. Not much variety, and it's not very fresh. Fresh doesn't travel."

It's a good incentive to fight well. A successful raid includes the locals' food. They have good bread in England, for one thing. Better grain.

[lt_blade]

"Another reason why we don't store things in wooden barrels, invites all sorts of creatures to live inside along with water. Water contained in metal still tastes strange, but it keeps it clean."

Also explained why most used flavored powder and tea in their water as well.

Sonya felt herself smile a little. "Makes for good jokes though: I remember one mess hall, someone wrote on the wall 'of course the food's great, 300 flies can't be wrong."

And because no one knew who did it, there was no punishment given.

[evil_koala_626]

Spam, you say? As it happens, someone in Milliways happens to currently be on the hunt for sewer dwelling fish people! And, as everyone knows, fish people love spam! Maybe! It's worth a shot, right? Lilo says so!

A bout of enthusiastic snuffling is all the warning Lagertha receives before a small, blue quadruped scuttles in to view and hauls itself up onto the bar.

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

That's... certainly unexpected? But most things seem to be, here. Maybe it's different for people who have been here longer; even strangeness can be something people get used to.

So here's a wary but non-hostile look from a Viking.

[evil_koala_626]

The blue creature responds in kind, regarding her through narrowed eyes.



Beat.



One of the tins is snatched off the counter with a clawed hand before being transferred to a set of fairly impressive jaws. His eyes never leave hers.

Stitch turns, retreating back along the length of the Bar before reaching the adjacent wall. This is scaled without breaking stride, the little alien ascending in to the shadows of the rafters like the world's surliest beetle. The front door slams a few moments later.

[shieldmaiden_lagertha]

She's not exactly sure what that just was--no kind of animal they have anywhere she's ever been, but then she was told they get people from everywhere, so that ought to include non-humans, probably.

In any case, she's not about to complain. That's one less container for her to have to find a use for, or carry upstairs.