(no subject)

[lazy_but_loyal]

The audition for a new dancer at Fangtasia had turned into the world's saddest exhibition of Shreveport's least talented and most unattractive.

If Pam lives to be another hundred years, there are still some things she will never be able to unsee. Seriously. Certain people and jock straps should never be allowed to go together.

But after one disaster after another (there was at least one dancer that Pam liked -- she had a great ass and was super-flexible but Eric didn't care for her style), it seemed as if the whole thing would be a bust, until...

Yvetta.

She walked in, all Eastern European hotness and sass, and as far as both Eric and Pam were concerned, the auditions were over.

"Get out of here," Eric bluntly told Pam in Swedish. "This one's mine."

He was serious when he spoke Swedish.

"Selfish," she retorted.

"Insubordinate," he muttered back.

She just made a face at him and left in a huff, but not before telling the new girl that she wanted to see what she could do later.

Sure, Eric would always get first crack at the new talent, but come on.

Ugh.

Pam headed for his office with half a mind to replace his desktop screensaver with a picture of George W. Bush when the door opened into Milliways.

Ugh.

Oh well. What-the-fuck-ever.

Permascowl turned up to 11, Pam stalks over to the bar and orders a glass of blood.

Comments

[is_the_motion]

Well someone doesn't look happy.

Bonnie is at the bar when Pam stalks over, with a pint of beer and an apple pie.

"I'd offer yer a slice of pie, unless that's vintage A positive you got there." she says to the vampire.

[lazy_but_loyal]

Pam looks at the small human (why are many Milliways humans so small?) with a quizzically raised eyebrow. And why are they all so insistent on talking to her.

The woman's remark throws her off a bit. It's like she's making a human-vampire joke or something.

"It's close enough."

[is_the_motion]

"Well that's a shame, I make a good pie even if I say so myself." Bonnie grins.

She is indeed quite small. She offers a calloused hand to shake.

"Bonnie Murdock, nice ter meet you."

[lazy_but_loyal]

Oh great, she's friendly and perky and everything.

Pam stares at the offered hand, her expression flat.

Pam doesn't do handshakes. She doesn't care if humans think it's rude. She just doesn't.

So instead, she sighs and turns slightly to face Bonnie, propping the hand that would have shaken hers on her hip.

"Pam. Charmed."

[is_the_motion]

Bonnie withdraws the hand with an amused snort, and sips her pint.

"Y'ain't gonna catch nothin'."

She shrugs.

"And if it's anti-vampire discrimination yer worried about you don't gotta. You ain't the only one here."

[lazy_but_loyal]

A finely arched eyebrow twitches. Perhaps a corner of her mouth.

"Oh, I'm not worried. I've already met two vampire killers who aren't allowed to kill me. Also, I know I'm not the only one."

[is_the_motion]

"That's good. The other guy I met got a bit of stick, but Security have got yer backs.

"Where abouts are you from?"

[lazy_but_loyal]

Pam snorts. She doesn't have to mention her own time spent in the cells.

"Shreveport. Ass end of Louisiana. Heard of it?"

[is_the_motion]

"Never been that far east." Bonnie admits. "I travelled workin' on the railroads on the west coast as a young girl, settled in California eventually."

[the_cupbearer]

"Bad day, I assume," says a young man a few seats down, who's lazily stirring a coffee mug full of what smells like a saharan spice market and looks like watered down road tar. And who is the very definition of beautiful with a fine-planed face and full bottom lip, and a faintly appraising expression.

[lazy_but_loyal]

It's difficult to impress Pam. Extremely difficult.

But as she's about to brush off yet another person who insists on engaging her in some kind of conversation, she turns to look at him.

Fuck, he's pretty. And she isn't even into men...that much.

"What gave you that impression?"

[the_cupbearer]

He quirks up a corner of his mouth, face turning almost amused as he watches her. "The look on your face helped," Ganymede chuckles, as he turns away from the ceramic cup in front of him.

"Anything to be done about it?"

[lazy_but_loyal]

Her lip twists subtly as she regards him in turn with a slow blink of her eyelashes.

"My bad day look is the same as my good day look. You would've had a fifty percent chance of being right anyway."

A pause.

"And also: no."

She turns back to her glass of blood and takes a sip.

[the_cupbearer]

"How sad," he says. "If that's your good day look you really ought to have a talk with the people around you."

He doesn't know, at the moment, that said people happen to include Eric. When he finds out, he'll be laughing. Right now, though, he's just watching; he can assume she's a vampire--not one like the Brucolac--but age is trickier, though she's most likely not his age. "How long?" he asks.

[lazy_but_loyal]

"I'd rather not," she says flatly. "I hate talking to people."

He may be pretty, but he's not doing anything for her mood.

"How long what?" she snaps.

[the_cupbearer]

"That much was obvious," he says dryly. "Either that or you're surrounded by masochists."

He rather thinks he'd have heard about that place, wherever it might be, were that the case. He does tend to keep abreast of the situations that may prove entertaining in that way. "How long have you been a vampire. Out of curiosity," Ganymede adds.

[lazy_but_loyal]

Fangbangers, masochists. Same thing.

She also hates people who think they know so much about vampires.

"A hundred years. What's it to you?"

[protect_and_survey]

Jemma never wants to leave SciOps again.

"Oh bloody..." The snapped curse is broken by a sigh of heartfelt exasperation. "Bloody hell. Bar, could you...?" Spilled mug of coffee and sopping wet newspaper are both taken away, leaving one just-tired-enough-to-be-jittery researcher without caffeine or reading material.

[lazy_but_loyal]

Is it Annoy Pam Day today? Because it might be Annoy Pam Day today. Although, if you're human, that's pretty much every day anyway.

It's times like these that Pam wishes there were an alcoholic version of TruBlood. Or maybe she could just find a really drunk person to bite.

Pam's own exasperated sigh can be heard before she takes a hearty sip of blood.

[protect_and_survey]

Hill has told Simmons in no uncertain terms that she is to behave herself and not get uppity with the locals.

Still, the answering sigh earns a raised eyebrow of disbelief.

[lazy_but_loyal]

Oh, are we doing the raised eyebrow now? Because Pam can do the raised eyebrow, too, you know.

Here, have a raised eyebrow, annoying human.

(Actually, she's kind of cute.)

[protect_and_survey]

"They do say that mimicry is the sincerest form of flattery." That's... not quite behaving herself, but she gets enough grief from Operations - she doesn't have to take it here as well.

[lazy_but_loyal]

Now she's just encouraging her.

"Well, maybe I am flattering you, sugar."

[protect_and_survey]

Here, Pam. See one SHIELD researcher go from 'vaguely disgruntled' to 'utterly flustered' in under three seconds flat. It's impressive, if horribly inconvenient.

"I... um. Oh. Well." Hang on, her mental footing isn't secure yet, give it a minute.

[lazy_but_loyal]

...That's just adorable.

"Buy you another cup of coffee?"

Pam's shift in demeanor is sort of like what happens when you distract a cat with a shiny new toy.