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A scientific experiment of the highest order is in progress. One which includes raspberry fudge, brie and crackers, and several different wines. Autor plans to get tipsy today, and he'll do it in style.

He'll also do it with help. Autor endures light ribbing by Sunshine, who has promised to stay with him and make sure he doesn't do anything foolish while even slightly inebriated--a serious concern of his, especially with a sprained ankle. She's keeping to tea today, just in case.

Autor raises a glass, his cheeks already tingling. He swirls the wine, as he has seen done before. Then he holds it up to his nose and takes a deep breath. "Ah, yes. This clean, buttery wine has a heady bouquet with oak notes, and a spicy aroma of vanilla and currant," he says, and takes a sip. "Sadly, it is broad--it has a full body aroma, but lacks any finesse to its taste."

Rae grins, sipping her tea. "Try harder not to sound like you memorized the book, Autor."

[OOC: Two pups, two muns! All threads will come after Rae and Autor's, when the boy is already tipsy.]

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Bonnie raises her eyebrows slightly, nods at Rae and settles next to Autor with a beer.

"You plannin' ter put yer results on a graph when yer done?" she asks, grinning at him.

"Oh, my gosh, that is totally the best idea I've ever heard. Ever, and I am absolutely, completely, gonna do that as soon as my hand is steady enough to draw a line properly," the boy babbles. "I'm kind of dizzy, haha. Did you know wine makes your head go funny? It's probably just like your beer but I have to make some further tests to see."

Then he turns to his lady knight. "Rae, why didn't we think about graphing things? It's the best way to show the distance between two points!"

"I think the reasoning was that there were too many variables," Rae is giggling into her tea, terribly amused at Autor's enthusiastic loquaciousness while tipsy. "We didn't exactly set up any particular tests of... balance, decision-making, and so on, beforehand."

"How have you been, Bonnie?" She hadn't seen Bonnie since... well, since she was making that wedding cake for the wedding that didn't happen.

"Been doin' a lot of bakin', to apologise for everyone who got injured in the roller disco." Bonnie says. "And yerself?"

She peers at the selection of drinks.

"If yer already dizzy, you might want ter continue yer experiment with a bucket." she adds.

"A bucket?" Autor starts, peering at her with confusion. "Why would I need a bucket? Oh, I know why. Eww. That's gross, but a good idea. A gross-good idea. Hey, I might want to eat something." And he snags a cracker. "Would either of you like some brie?"

"Going to have to take the wine away from him soon, if he keeps on like he is," Rae admits, grinning and offering Autor one of the muffins, to help soak up the excess alcohol in his stomach, in exchange for some brie. "Autor, you like the taste too much to be scientific about it."

Which is half of her amusement, and half of her concern.

"I've been all right. Ups and downs, back home and here. I enjoyed the roller disco, but apparently turned in too early to catch Autor's great crash," she says, wryly. "That's a good idea, though, baking for the injured." Rae totally supports baking to make people feel better.

"Well I don't want ter tread on yer toes, so it would only be occasional, but I felt rather bad that I might have got a few people more tipsy than intended." Bonnie says.

Including herself, but that was her own fault for having so many shots.

"Y'know Autor if you just want ter taste them, it's traditional to spit. But I find that's a waste. What's brought this experiment on then?"

"I wanted to see how wine tasted, and what the effects of my being tipsy are," he answers, sounding surprisingly sober.

And then... "Spit! That's disgusting! And wasteful--wine is tasty, why would I not want more of it in my mouth?" he babbles, and then blinks twice. "Actually, that's a brilliant idea! Rae! Can I have some more wine, now? Please?"

"Tea, I think, for now," she says, eyebrows raised. "So the bucket won't be necessary later. We don't want to overwhelm your system on the first experiment, Autor."

Rae glances at Bonnie for back-up. If he's already like this - whatever there had been of his math already thrown out the window - she would rather he not pass by the happy babbling stage of drunkenness into the less enjoyable stages.

"Yeah, you listen to Rae." Bonnie nods sagely. "It takes years of practice to drink as much as I do. And I ain't gonna pretend that's good fer you neither."

She takes the glass of wine and downs it herself instead, to remove it from temptation.

"And we don't want yer making a mess of yerself in front of that nice young lady I've seen you hangin' out with." she winks at him.

Edited 2014-10-26 22:31 (UTC)

"I do listen to Rae. She is the best one to listen to. She has a really melodious voice which is so nice, you know? Yeah. Holy crap, you downed that really fast!" he exclaims, and then covers his mouth. "Sorry. I shouldn't say crap in front of you. Uh-oh, I said it again."

The mention of a lady makes him smile, soft and fond and shy. "Aww, Bonnie," he says, nudging her with his elbow. "The pink one is a nice girl, but I have to be careful and let our friendship happen by itself or I'll scare her away. Rae taught me how to be friends, did you know that?"

"Yeah, being drunk and disorderly in front of one's crush isn't always a great recipe for future bliss," Rae chuckles, pouring Autor some, making no remark on her 'melodious' voice. "Thus the being careful. Here, have some tea. It's a green chai with apples and mint."

"Yeah, and nothin' like bein' drunk to make yer forget how to have safe love neither." Bonnie says, not mincing words.

"Aww, Rae, thank you," Autor says. He catches her hand and kisses her palm. "That's lovely. You're lovely." He picks up his tea and sips it carefully, enjoying its warmth.

"Safe love?" Autor asks Bonnie, furrowing his brow. "What on earth are you talking about?"

"She means that drunkenness can sometimes make people say or do things they wouldn't normally - sometimes with long-lasting consequences, even if it were accidental," Rae says, diplomatically. Part of her wonders if the furious blush that might result from more detail could make the poor, drunken scholar pass out.

Bonnie gets up, goes to the bar, and comes back to Autor with a packet of condoms, which she hands to him reasonably discretely.

"Here. It's best left 'til yer more sober, but either way, if you don't want ter be fatherin' children, make sure you use yer ten cent insurance policy."

Autor blinks at her a few times, a little confused. So he does what he does any other time he's been presented with a gift: plucks out one of the foil-wrapped packages and tears it open.

"Oh, wow, they're slimy!" he says, stretching the condom out. "Why are you giving me little balloons? And what do they have to do with, um, procreation?"

He looks at her with wide, innocent eyes, wanting her to explain her strange gift to him.

Oh gods and friggin' angels.

Rae leans back in her chair, sipping her tea, and offers a small toast in Bonnie's direction.

"Sorry, this one's all yours."

"Very well."

Bonnie hums, clicking her fingers to establish the beat, then begins, in song:

"When yer lovin', havin' a blast.
When yer lovin', it happens so fast.
You got a girl, cute as can be
Stop a mo, listen to me,

You'll get your babe, in the family way,
If you don't act more safely that night.

(Oh wella wella wella ooh)

I'll tell you more, tell you more
When you're thinking of sex
I'll tell you more, tell you more
There are side effects

Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh,

When you make, love with yer lady
Yer little swimmers, they're goin' crazy,
Try'n ter find, an egg in her womb,
If they do, kid's comin' soon.

You'll get your babe, in the family way
If you don't act more safely that night.

(Oh wella wella wella ooh)

I'll tell you more, tell you more
You may blush now young man
I'll tell you more, tell you more
Listen close as you can

Uh huh, uh huh, uh huh,

Pregnancy, has to be planned good,
So you put, this thing on your manhood,
From disease, you it protects,
When yer out, havin' yer sex.

You'll get your babe, in the family way
If you don't act more safely that night."

"Questions?"

Edited 2014-10-26 23:56 (UTC)

Autor blinks and blinks again. Then he jumps onto his feet--wincing when he slams his good foot--and claps, enthusiastically. "Oh, my gosh, that was so good! Rae, did you know she could sing? Also that's really embarrassing, Shiva wept. You could have just said they were"--and here he drops his voice into a whisper--"contraceptives. You know. You could have. But the song was better."

Needless to say, his blush painted his face with a gradient during the entire song, but by now he's a solid block of red.

[OOC: Wait, did you just... T-That's brilliant! *claps wildly*]

Edited 2014-10-27 03:54 (UTC)

Rae begins giggling only a little ways into the song, striving to keep it quiet so she can still hear, the whole way through. And it's so catchy!

She applauds as Bonnie finishes. "Oh, gods and friggin' angels, that was great! They should have that song taught in high schools across the country."

(ooc: *bursts out laughing* Oh, that was glorious! Well done!)

Bonnie laughs.

"Well I coulda just brought over a big old plastic penis." she says. "I don't suppose nobody else even noticed."

"W-Why would you do that?" Autor squeaks, finally twigging to the idea that he should be blushing much more than he is. "I didn't even know that they made p-penises"--he almost chokes on the word--"out of plastic."

He turns to Rae, looking to her for confirmation of this new and bizzare fact.

Sunshine hasn't really blushed since she was younger than Autor and had her first lover.

"Oh gods, Autor," she is, however, snickering at him. "Of course they do - I think the creation of penis-shaped things out of whatever medium is available might be in the rules somewhere. Maybe not written down, but definitely there."

Drawn in the margins, maybe.

Bonnie gives Autor a hug round the shoulders, if he lets her.

"Why? Because you're never gonna forget now." she winks at him.