(no subject)

[hecu_marine]

CURRENT tiwazRegulator [CTR] RIGHT NOW posted a memo on board MAGICAL MYSTERY BAR VIRTUAL BULLETIN BOARD

CTR: Any of yall readin this-
CTR: I got a shitload of notebooks I need transcribed so's they cn be printed.
CTR: Tactics and strategy materials, mostly.
CTR: Wrote them all out by hand a while back.
CTR: I want em typed up for printing by Earth computers, early twenty first century design or earlier.
CTR: I'll settle for typesetting em on an actual press.
CTR: Ain't got cash to pay you directly but I can compensate you in a couple ways.
CTR: I got furs- mostly demon rabbit furs- and fur gloves, hats, n so forth.
CTR: I got leathers in a shitload of colors you don't get with Earth critters.
CTR: Still good leather, though.
CTR: I got ivory from any number of animals I will personally guarantee were the exact fuckin opposite of endangered species.
CTR: And I'm willin to teach survival, hunting, and shooting skills- guns or bows, your choice.
CTR: Send me a message or find me in the Bar.

There's something similar posted to the message board, but it's not nearly as detailed or colorful, and the message board gives Shephard's actual name and rank, to make him easier to find.

Comments

[hadyougoing]

Ava reads the message board as a matter of course, and finds the call for transcription help to be pretty interesting. How often do secretarial skills come in handy around here?

Plus, Sergeant-Major Adrian Shepherd can't be that hard to find. Ava figures she'll start with the Bar.

"Hey," she says, sidling up to the counter, "do you happen to know what Adrian Shepherd looks like? I need to talk to them about a job."

[hecu_marine]

The Bar pops up a napkin with a drawing of someone who rather resembles a very short-haired John Cusack, even despite being rendered in orange crayon.

The other side of the napkin depicts what looks like some kind of demon ham on three legs, with stripes down its back and no visible head.

[hadyougoing]

Ava is forever suspicious of orange crayon (Mike), but she's got to admit it's a good illustration.

The image on the other side ... she's not so sure.

"What the heck is that?" Pause. "Don't tell me that's his other form or something."

But she glances around the room, looking for signs of either John Cusack or a demonic headless ham.

[hecu_marine]

Well, there's the ham dozing by the fire, does that count?

... two of the hams, actually. No, three.

So, yeah, probably not his other form or anything like that.

[hadyougoing]

Ava checks her napkin. Glances up to the hams. Napkin.

Hams.


They're actually kinda cute, in a headless way. Ava sidles in that direction, looking out for a likely being-Adrian-Shephard person nearby.

[hecu_marine]

And there he is over on the other side of the fire, with ham number four. Apparently playing tug-of-war with these things means the rope goes between their front legs somehow.

Also, they seem pretty alert; as Ava sidles over the game stops and the ham in question goes up on its hind legs, pointing its big end at her like some kind of wet blackberry.

Look, you try coming up with descriptors for dog-things from an alien dimension.

[hadyougoing]

"Hiiii," Ava says, in a light but somewhat dubious talking-to-dogs-voice. "Hi there, buddy. I think I need to talk to--"

She glances up to the guy.

"Sergeant-Major Shephard?"

[hecu_marine]

"Down, girl," says Shephard, and the creature backs onto all threes. He leans over to scratch along the first blue stripe with one gloved hand, and smiles. "Yeah, that's me. What'd I do this time?"

[hadyougoing]

Ava smiles faintly.

What a weird blackberry pet.

"Nothing, as far as I know. Uh, I'm Ava Wilson; I read your message about needing things typed up?"

[hecu_marine]

"Pleasure to meet you, ma'am," says Shephard and offers the hand for the shaking. "Yeah, I got a couple dozen notebooks I want t'be able to loan out to a friend of mine'n still print up for the folks at home, only my typin' ain't worth shit. You good at that kind of thing?"

If she shakes the hand, it should be noted that there is absolutely no give other than that of the glove leather; that's almost certainly a prosthetic under there.

[hadyougoing]

Usually she wouldn't shake, but hell-- this is business. Ava's grip is a little firmer than the average person would necessarily expect, and if she thinks anything at all of Shephard's hand, it doesn't show.

"Nice to meet you too," she says. "I've done about ... five years of secretarial work, mostly with early twenty-first century computers from Earth." Or equivalent: Arashmaharr is decidedly not Earth, but their computers work more or less the same.* "Last time I checked, I typed about 50 words per minute, and I'm pretty accurate."

*Though demonic firewalls are literal walls of fire.

[hecu_marine]

"Definitely beats the hell out of my typin'," Shephard says. "Half the time it's easier t' just use a speech-to-text rig for my T-minus posts. I'm hopin' you saw the part about bein' paid in barter, though. We're just about two years out from worldwide alien occupation back home, and we ain't got what most folks' worlds would recognize as proper money."

[hadyougoing]

Ava's lips quirk sourly for 'worldwide alien occupation.'

"Sorry to hear that," she says. "I did see that, though-- actually, I'm kind of interested in survival and shooting?"

[hecu_marine]

"Yeah, I c'n work with you on that," Shephard says. "What've you got in the way of experience, either one?"

[hadyougoing]

"One of my friends was teaching me to fire a pistol awhile back," she offers, "and the rest ... is mostly running around in the woods."

She wrinkles her nose.

"I just figure, living here, I should learn a few extra tricks."

[hecu_marine]

"Fair 'nough. Wanted to know where to start," says Shephard. "You ever see an animal git butchered before? Last two humans I took out back fishin' turned some nasty colors when it was guttin' time."

[hadyougoing]

Ava nods.

"Yeah, I've seen some of the demon rabbits get torn up. I did okay with it."

[fairy_fixit]

anomalousApportation [AA] began trolling tiwazRegulator [TR]

AA: Ooo.. ivory?
AA: But who could you be? And what kind of creatures would this ivory be from? Hmm.
AA: Who has this particular skillset? Are you Adrian Shephard?
AA: Are these Xen creatures?

[hecu_marine]

[TR] This is Shephard, yep.
[TR] Mostly it's Xen critters.
[TR] One set of polar bear fangs on account of the fucker tried to kill me my last trip to Svalbard.
[TR] And a shitload of demon rabbit teeth, dunno if those're big enough to count, though.

[fairy_fixit]

AA: I really wish I could transcribe those notebooks for you.
AA: those teeth might have all sort of interesting properties.
AA: Hmmm, this thing does have a speech to text mode.
AA: I have been warned that it is very idiosyncratic, though.
AA: I could hire someone from home to do it.

And military tactics... hmmm... Zanaris is fairly isolated and able to keep out of the most major conflicts. Her sister and Chaeldar might appreciate copies of the transcribed notebooks too.

AA: But then I would have to figure out a storage medium. Or maybe a transmission medium.
AA: Darn, it's a major project in itself.

[hecu_marine]

[TR] Up to you. The notebooks ain't goin anywhere.
[TR] Filled up a good part of my room here with em before I lost the source of the information.
[TR] Still workin on transcribin a bunch of military biographies, too, though there ain't as many of those- I got a tablet to write them on after a while.

[fairy_fixit]

AA: Wow, that actually sounds like a task for several someones.
AA: Or automation.
AA: How good or bad is the handwriting?

[hecu_marine]

[TR] Readable, but real damn small.
[TR] I printed.
[TR] Reckoned it'd be easier to read later.
[TR] Got a sample notebook over by the fireplace iffen you want t see it.

[fairy_fixit]

After a long pause.

AA: I had better not tempt myself by doing that.
AA: I would likely take such a project on just to see If I could figure out a way to automate it.
AA: It might prove worthwhile later on... No.
AA: Sorry, I hope you find someone to do this for you, though.

[hecu_marine]

[TR] Fair nough.
[TR] I'll let folks know when I do.