milliways_bar | (no subject)

Bart's brain is... weird. Like, he couldn't tell you where he came from, if he always had his powers or if it was just a thing that happened. But he remembers everything since the first time he woke up just fine. He knows facts, random shit about life in general, just not his life.

He has no memory of ever having gone to school, but he must have at some point because when Oliver lays down the law that he has to at least try to get his GED, there's plenty of stuff that seems familiar. Like he'd learned it before. But then there's stuff that's totally new, or maybe he he just really sucks at. Bart's sitting in a booth with a practice quiz on the latter, getting increasingly irritable while he stares at questions he should know how to answer. Eventually, he just snaps, hits Critical Frustration Mass. His pencil slams into the paper hard enough that the point breaks off. "Just remember something, you useless piece of - "

His head thunks against the table before he can finish that sentence.

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...Well that's one interesting thing to pass by on the way to the Bar. Just interesting enough for Beauford to stop near the table and wince in some sympathy, even if doesn't know wholly what is going on.

"Hey."

Bart lifts his head out of its arm-cradle to blink at the guy who dropped by somewhat blearily. "Hey."

That thing on the table looks an awful lot like a quiz. Ahh... the joys of school.

"You look like you need to take a brain break." Ah, there's subtle in a way that a cat at feeding time isn't. "Or does that thing have a timer on it?"

"If it did, I'd totally be willing to cheat it a little."

Whatever, he doesn't have to be a hero all the time. Plus, he needs his sanity to fight the forces of evil. And Luthor. Whatever.

Uh-huh.

"I'll be right back, you got any food allergies?"

If Tyler is bringing him food, then he is totally Bart's new best friend.

"None. I can eat pretty much anything."

(And he does.)

Gods help all of Milliways if Beauford decides to sic his Godzilla chili on Bart.

"Some cooks might take that as a challenge." He's just going to nod, grin, and go back to his original path to the Bar, ducking into the kitchen to get something. Actually, several somethings, balanced between two small trays on Beauford's arms.

One tray has at least a dozen little cups of various ice creams, two tall glasses of Ovaltine ; the other has a large bowl of some kind of steaming green stew and a triple-stacked PB&J.

Whatever it is, Bart approves. "You are a god among men. Even if you're not, like, an actual god or whatever. Unless you are one."

Milliways is confusing, man.

"Not a god, completely mortal." Beauford cackles, just a little. "I really needed someone to beta test my ice creams for this summer anyway."

"I am totally okay with that. What do you have here, or am I supposed to identify, too?"

"Okay, this green one is my attempt at using basil instead of mint." He's going to pick up the dish of pale green with darker green and brown flecks. "Toasted some pistachios to go into it."

"The dark purple-pink one is the biggest seller, raspberry mint bourbon, done as a sorbet instead of a gelato."

"Do you own an ice cream shop or something?"

He will be trying that raspberry mint bourbon, thank you. " - Cause I totally approve this one."

"No, I just hold a stall outdoors in the summer every so often..." ...He could look a little less proud of himself for the next bit. "I use Milliways to cheat on developing new flavors."

"I'm totally using Milliways to cheat on study time, so no judging here."

Also, he is reaping the benefits of it. So.

"Hey, any job where I get paid in gold coins worth hundreds of thousands of dollars is a win."

He's going to push out another one for sampling, pale tan with dark brown ripples and little reddish brown bits. "Re-tweaked the maple-bacon ice cream recipe, lemme know what you think."

"Where do you have this stand, dude?"

But. More importantly, maple-bacon ice cream. Bart will just be taking that now, thank you. "Can't compare it to the old recipe, but this one's pretty great."

"I only hold it for a few days every summer out by the lake...granted it's been a year since I did that..." Okay, now seriously might be the time for Bart to eat something that isn't made of cream, sugar and butterfat. Beauford's going to nudge the PB&J towards him, along with the Ovaltine.

...That bowl of green stew is for the adults here. Young men should only attempt full-furnace Godzilla chili with the supervision of a trusted friend or adult holding the camera. This goes double for adults, superheroes and marines.

"Eat something dinner-ish, I'll lose my responsible adult cred if you spoil your dinner."

"Hello Bart." Fry says, peering at his test.

"Hey - " For a second, he almost calls him Small Fry before remembering how badly nicknames went last time. " - Fry. What's up?

Blink. Fry looks up at the ceiling.

"The rafters, some lights, a cobweb..."

To his credit, he takes that in stride with a thumbs up.

"Been doing anything interesting?"

"It's Easter Holidays." Fry says. "So I don't get to go to school. But I beat Callum and Ethan on the playstation. What are you studying?"

"History."

Because Bart has such a good track record with people's histories. Like his own. Yeah.

"Which bit?" Fry asks.

"Uh, someone... doing something... getting taken over by another country... then getting taken over by another country... Kinda blurs together."

"Maybe you need to study before your test." Fry says helpfully.

"Yeah." He taps the paper. "That's what this is for. To figure out what I still need to study."

Which is apparently everything.

"When Coral needs to learn her spellings she makes them into a little song." Fry says. "And then we rewrite it because she's dyslexic so her song is usually wrong."