milliways_bar | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

The sky over the Milliways outdoors is blue and picturesque and scattered with fluffy clouds. There might be the occasional bird flying around, whether a patron or a forest animal. Also, you know, there's that big dragon gliding by.

Wait. Dragon?

Wait. What? appears to be the dragon's reaction too, at least if anyone around is good at reading draconic body language. It (she) soars in a great and wary circle, surveying the ground before landing warily by the lake.

She's huge, with green scales (properly brushed and polished, thank you) just beginning to go gray at the edges, and three horns (the third, stubbier than the others, in the middle of her forehead), and a quantity of extremely sharp teeth. "Now," she says to herself, "this is new."

(Meanwhile, whether or not anyone's noticed, the Milliways forest just got a little bigger.)

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

That's new, too. Ysalwen is not like the elves Kazul knows, who are much smaller and prone to things like shoemaking, but she's also not exactly human-looking.

"Hello."

Kazul's voice sounds a little like a middle-aged woman with a particularly resonant and cultured alto. (Except with more hissing on the sibilants, as will be clear once she says any.)

Often enough she sounds faintly amused, but right now she is -- in a dignified, self-possessed way -- just confused.

"This isn't the Enchanted Forest, is it?"

"Not as far as I know. I wasn't even sure the forest here had a name, though I've been told if you wander far enough you stumble upon something called The Dreaming. It's definitely not the Fade, though. I'd be able to tell."

Seriously.

"Did you -- you didn't come through a door, unless there was one in the sky, did you? I always seem to need a door."

Hmm.

"Definitely not."

She would have noticed.

"That forest is different." She points, with a claw. (It's very long. Also, very sharp.)

...Although. It sure seems like the Enchanted Forest is still here, right over next to the other forest. Which may or may not be enchanted in some way -- there's definitely magic around -- but the Enchanted Forest is its own, cohesive, capitals-requiring thing.

That's reassuring. But all of this is still extremely weird, even by the standards of Kazul's home, which is a wacky middle grade fantasy series and thus very full of weirdness.

"Well, it -- "

She turns to follow the pointing claw -- keeping a weather eye on said pointing claw, just in case -- and --

"Huh. It is different. Now, at least."

Strange.

"You didn't bring it with you, did you? I mean, is that something you can usually do?"

"No."

This is slower, and more thoughtful. Kazul's tail lashes, once.

(Well away from Ysalwen, and in fact most things. A couple of bushes lose a few leaves off the top.)

"Suppose you tell me a little more about here."

...Kazul's kind of bossy. Sorry.

"I can try. This is Milliways, a bar and assorted -- other buildings -- and geographical features, I suppose -- at the end of the universe. The magical -- "

She cuts off and waves her hand at everything around them.

" -- effects? You can see through those through a window inside the Bar proper, if you need convincing this is the end of everything. But there's a time loop, so no one panics about it."

"How did it get into the middle of the Enchanted Forest?" She's willing to have this be a rhetorical question, but she's rather hoping for an answer instead. "The king won't be happy at all to have something like this in the middle of his forest. The forest won't like it much either."

The Enchanted Forest likes being a cohesive area, bounded and united by its own peculiar magic, without any inclusions of other territory. It protects itself accordingly. This is... not in the usual run of things.

"I don't know, actually. Huh."

Ysalwen frowns, dropping one hand to rest on Liranan's back. The mabari is staring at Kazul, as if daring her to try anything. He settles a little when Ysalwen touches him.

"Maybe since you're too big to easily fit inside, it decided to open part of your Forest out here instead of -- changing the exit point of a door? You know, sometimes I'm really glad this place doesn't seem set on destruction. Honestly."

"The Forest doesn't usually take kindly to outsiders messing around."

That's not really Kazul's jurisdiction, but it is her business, to a certain degree. Anyway, she's just saying.

At least it probably isn't wizards. She'd be sneezing a whole lot more if the stink of their magic was around the place.

"It better not be," she adds darkly, although it's mostly habitual. Kazul doesn't take kindly to outsiders messing around either, but she doesn't have any immediate reason to be belligerent at anybody who's here to be belligerent at.

"Well. If I'm here, I suppose I'd better take a look around before I go back."

"Most of the people here don't take kindly to being messed around, as you say, either. It -- makes beginnings interesting, I'll tell you that."

Ysalwen's smile is crooked and wry.

"Do you want the ten silver tour? I think I've been coming here long enough to know at least a few things."

Liranan barks once. He has been here a long time, too! He can show Kazul good things to eat! Things that are not elves from Ferelden!

Kazul looks down at her thoughtfully, and with the slow beginnings of approval.

Kazul likes people who are polite and keep their heads. (Even if she's not used to being the one being shown around. Usually, either she knows, or she has a pretty good idea because dragons have a good vantage point for an overview.)

"Thank you."

"I'm Kazul."

"I'm Ysalwen, this is Liranan."

Liranan barks again, tail wagging just a little bit.

No one is fighting. Maybe this is okay!

"And you're welcome. So we'll start with the bar itself, which is back this way. It's where most of the other people I've met come in, though I suppose that's not as strictly true as I thought."

Hmm. Good to know.

"You -- can't make yourself smaller, can you? Though I suppose Milliways may be -- what's the word -- pliable enough that the door and room will just get bigger if you try to go inside? I'd like to introduce you to Bar herself, if I can. I could also just pass notes, as well, but that isn't quite the same."

"No."

Okay, if she spent enough time mucking around with shrinking spells, she probably could. But dragons generally take it as a point of pride and principle to make the world conform to them, instead. (Some of this may be apparent in Kazul's dismissive tone.)

She's eyeing the bar. "There are certainly spells to handle that kind of adaptation, though. A witch's cottage, for instance. It's hard to tell if one of them is on that door. There's a lot of magic layered on the whole place."

That's not exactly disapproving. Kazul is very familiar with places that have had layers and layers of magic spackled onto them, or more or less organically grown from it.

"Probably there's nothing for it but to try."

If she were a little crankier, she would also have no problem shoving her head through the wall if this place is going to yank in dragons and not even set up a proper bigger-on-the-inside spell to handle it. But Ysalwen has done a decent job of soothing her ruffled feathers with courteous explanations so far.

"That's usually a good way to start. I'd offer to help, but that kind of magic is definitely not my specialty."

No screaming nightmares, no giant explosions, no slowly leaching out the life-force of surrounding creatures . . .

"I can also show you around out here first, if you'd rather."

"I saw it from above."

She's following Ysalwen and Liranan, politely keeping pace. Given the relative leg lengths involved, this means every so often Kazul takes a step.

"What kind of magic is your specialty?"

None of the categories Kazul considers common ones are immediately presenting themselves as obvious.

Ysalwen laughs a little.

"Okay, there is that."

She ruffles Liranan's ears affectionately, buying herself a moment to think of what to disclose.

"Elemental magic comes most easily to me. That and hexes. I'm a battlemage, which means I'm best suited for combat. I can use a sword, too, which really helps when assassins start getting involved."

Ysalwen is just saying.

...Huh.

Kazul has a few different reactions to all of that, some more scholarly and some more emotional. The one she goes with first is, "Are assassins common around here?"

She's not worried for herself, on the whole, but it seems like useful information to have.

Ysalwen laughs a little.

"No one's allowed to hurt another patron, here, so -- assassins themselves might be, but not on the job."

Thank the Maker.

"I'm just used to them at home. My partner is an ex-Crow -- the largest and most tight-knight and well-reputed assassin's guild in Thedas -- so they come after us, sometimes. Then there's the Carta, that I've. Um. Upset a time or two. So every so often, out of nowhere wham, assassin trying to kill me. They never seem to learn, though."

Sad.

(Only not sad at all. Ice magic is great for times like that.)

Well, a society structured around lots of competing Assassin's Guilds seems an awful lot of work to maintain, not to mention the turnover. But hey, to each their own.

"No one hurts each other at all here?"

Forgive her if she's politely skeptical.

"Well. You'll notice I said 'not allowed', not that it never happens. There's Security, and they police those who break one of the three rules. But -- well."

Cough.

"Security doesn't spend much time out here, particularly. So. Sometimes things happen. Plus it's a bar, so bar brawls also occasionally break out."

Kazul snorts. (There's a little flame.) "Ah."

One of those situations.

"Whose rules are the three? And what are they?"

Kazul is making no promises about obeying them, mind you. But it seems worth knowing.

This is a weirdly organized world-inclusion-thing.

"I think they're mostly rules so the whole place doesn't end up burned down, fallen over, and sunk into a fundemental universal abyss of some kind."

There are equations for that.

"Who first enforced them, I have no idea. But they are -- one, don't kill, attack, or cause harm to other patrons. Demon rabbits are fair game but they taste terrible, according to some. Two, no sex in public. Or nudity. Three, no outside grudges carried out or acted upon inside. That one -- is probably the hardest one to stick to, when people have got enough hate built up. In case you wondered."

Rabbits are like having to hunt down teeny cocktail weiners one by one, come on. Totally not worth eating unless somebody else cooks up a few dozen of them or something.

Kazul cocks an eye down (waaay down) at Ysalwen, and doesn't say anything that assessment of which rules are hardest to stick to.

"Surprisingly reasonable," is what she allows, a little grudgingly, after a moment.

(She's not promising not to eat anybody ever, but.)

"I definitely prefer it to a long and codified list of rules and regulations," Ysalwen allows.

"Those I dislike. A lot."

Dammit, Circle Tower.

"Dragons are more sensible than to bother with that kind of thing."

Kazul is, of course, not remotely biased about this.