milliways_bar | (no subject)

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rae "sunshine" seddon

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Some nights go better than others. Some nights they listen, and hardly anyone dies, and it's almost not horrible. It almost doesn't make her feel like a monster, herself. It almost makes her hopeful. But the rise of hope in one's heart can be as frightening as any creature of the dark, and Sunshine won't trust it. There is too much at stake, ha ha very funny, and too much that can go wrong. Tonight has been... an almost not horrible night, but it has still left her exhausted.

Running solely on adrenaline for so long incurs a debt, and the body doesn't extend credit.

Rae steps through the door, expecting her bedroom, and sees the bar. Her expression registers frustration she doesn't have the energy to deal with right now, and her precarious balance shifts to her right, leaving her leaning heavily against the door frame. The bar, of course. Not her own bed, so close and easy to fall into. Damn it. It takes her a moment to gather the wherewithal to stand and make her way into the bar room and to the bar. Her hair is still wet from her shower, the darkened red dampening the back of her sky-blue pajamas, and she moves stiffly, knowing she will be sore in the morning.

One cup of tea, she tells herself muzzily - chamomile and lavender, to fortify herself against potential nightmares - and then she'll go upstairs to her room and crash. Then she'll leave again. It is far too easy to stay here, and she won't let herself fall into that trap again.

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"Hey."

Bonnie smiles at her from down the bar, reminding herself that as bad as her day was, Rae's is always going to have been worse.

"You okay honey?"

"Hey, Bonnie," Rae gives Bonnie a tired smile as she eases herself onto a bar stool, wincing. "I'm..."

She remembers Autor's irritation at her insistence that she's fine, and amends herself.

"...I'll live. How about you? How have you been?"

"Had better days." Bonnie smiles weakly. "Did they hurt you?"

That weak smile makes Rae pick up her tea and move to a closer bar stool, still moving stiffly. "Not too bad. Most of it's me getting myself hurt trying to avoid them - bruises and scrapes, mostly."

It would have been a lot worse if the vampires actually got hold of her. She did a lot worse to them.

"Things still going okay?" From Bonnie's look, she somehow doubts it.

Edited 2016-02-12 22:37 (UTC)

"I'm glad you're not too hurt."

Bonnie debates lying, but Rae's been honest, so she shakes her head.

"I fainted at school and everyone found out. I didn't get fired but my boys got in a fight and Ted got his arm broken." She sighs. "He's actually delighted because he gets at least a week off school, and he was doing most of the punching, but I hate that he got hurt because of me."

"Shiva wept," Rae murmurs, wincing sympathetically. "What a day."

"I'm glad you didn't get fired - that worry was weighing on you last time we spoke. Did the principal understand? A broken arm is pretty severe for a school fight, but it heals pretty reliably, and makes a good story."

And she can't blame any kid for rejoicing in the excuse to miss school.

"I don't think so, but the kids tried to save me by forming a 'Chastity society' - which was hilarious because I know most of them are bangin' each other. I think it was the fact that Turtle was walkin' up the driveway and, well, he knows that she goes to AA and... neither of us would ever blackmail her but she changed her mind when she saw him."

She sighs.

"My senior class were the ones who found out when I fainted. Within a couple hours, one of them was taunting Stuart about it, that's how the fight happened. Stuart was in the debate team final, he was about to win... Ted went nuts and attacked the guy taunting Stuart." she puts her head in her hands.

"Anyway. I kept my job. Someone's written 'hore' on my door but I guess that's the least of my worries."

"Might want to take it up with whatever teacher's supposed to be teaching them spelling, some time," Rae says, dry but sympathetic.

She reaches out and puts a hand on Bonnie's shoulder, giving a reassuring squeeze. "Hey. You'll be all right. You've got your job, your family, sons and future husband, and your students have got your back, too."

Rae won't say it won't be difficult, but Bonnie is strong.

Bonnie smiles gratefully.

"I know I'm more lucky than I could imagine this time last year. I just feel bad for draggin' them all into this message. They all came to stand up for me, and I'm beyond grateful."

Soft smile. "Kinda nice ter see Turtle rush up the school drive."

Rae smiles, knowingly. "I bet it was."

"You've been there for so many people - it's only natural they're there for you in return," she says, giving Bonnie's hand a light squeeze. "I think you'll be fine."

She squeeze back. "Thanks. Think I'm gonna have to get used to callin' in favours."

"Turtle was tryin' to distract me by askin' me what I'm gonna wear, which I hadn't even thought about."

"Oooh, yeah, that's a big thing to consider before a wedding," Rae smiles, chuckling slightly and taking a sip of her tea. "What are you going to wear?"

The baby will be showing even more by the time of the wedding.

"I have no idea, and it's in just a couple weeks." Bonnie says. "I only got two dresses and neither of them fit me.

"It's a biker weddin' so Turtle will almost certainly wear his colours, and I could do the same."

"Hmmm," is the vague reply. Rae is asleep on her feet, at this point, so solutions are elusive. "Could you get a dress that fit, from here? Bar sometimes provides clothes when people ask."

"Good idea. Preferably somethin' that doesn't show too much bump." Bonnie nods.

She frowns slightly. "Rae, you look like you should be in bed honey, you need a hand upstairs?"

"Bar can provide just about anything - what color you want, and style too, I should think," Rae murmurs.

"I'll... be fine, but yeah, I should get some sleep. I came in from... a late night."

A kind of late night that leaves bruises and necessitates a shower.

"I'll be better in the morning."

Bonnie moves over to support her.

"Yer asleep on yer feet." she says gently. "C'mon, I'll help you up."

Tahno sashays up to the bar near her, offering her a nod after he orders a firewhiskey. He's wearing a costume with a red shirt cut just so to expose his midriff, and long, ruffled sleeves. "Long night, gorgeous?"

Edited 2016-02-13 05:34 (UTC)

"Longer than some, but not as bad as some oth...." Rae's answer trails off as she takes in Tahno's outfit.

"Is it Halloween again already? Shiva wept," she can't help the slight snicker that underlies her amazement. "How long was I gone?"

Tahno chuckles, his smile more than a little wry. "Nah, it's some weird Earth holiday called Mardi Gras, or so the bar claims," he drawls, waggling his fingers to make the liquor jump out of its shot glass. "How've ya been?"

"I always forget that one - it's not one that gets celebrated back in my world," Rae says, at least knowing she's not been gone very long, now. "Things have been a bit stressridden back home, but it isn't so very bad as I expected."

At least, things are currently quiet. She can hope that they remain so.

"What about you? How've you been?" Apart from Bar dressing him up like a ruffly parfait, she means.

"Better than expected is a good thing, yeah?" Tahno drawls, sipping some of his whiskey from the floating globules. "And I'm doin' awright, thanks for asking. I'm lookin' forward to winnin' the probending championship. Three times isn't enough. And I challenged someone here to a fight and got my ass kicked for it."

"I'd say that's what you get, but you're not used to getting your ass kicked, I bet," Rae says, wryly. "What'd you go and do something like that for?"

"Nope, I ain't used to that," Tahno drawls lightly, shrugging. "She was mighty pissed about somethin', so I challenged her to let off some steam. In retrospect, that was a terrible idea."

"Miss Sunshine?" Sinric puts down his flute to come over and check on her. "Are you well?"

"Hey there, Sinric," Rae says, a faint, exhausted smile crossing her face. "I'll be fine. Just tired. Had a long night."

She moves like one whose every joint aches, and bruises show where her pajamas don't cover.

"I'll be fine after some sleep, I think."

He frowns worriedly. "You look to be in some discomfort. Is there anything I can fetch you that might put you at your ease?"

Rae gives a smile for the offer and the concern. "You're very kind, Sinric. I appreciate the offer, but this is... nothing that a full night's sleep and a bit of healing can't take care of."

She's just not up to healing the bruises right now, when she's already running on empty.

"You look like you're doing better, since I last saw you," she remarks, because it's good to see him looking a bit more like his old self. A bit more at peace, not so worn thin.

"Then I hope you will not let me keep you from your bed." He says softly.

He ducks his head at that and smiles sweetly. "The bar has been feeding me up. And the care and peace of being with those dear to me has been a great balm to my spirit. I'm feeling much more myself than I remember in some years."

"Can I do anything to help?"

That is Father Harman, who is currently at a table with a cup of tea, reading some ancient tome.

Rae gives a a faint, exhausted smile at the sight of him - it has been a while since she's seen him. She complains about Milliways, but it does have its benefits. Friends she doesn't have to hide everything from. Friends she doesn't have to lie to. It offers a freedom she doesn't have, in her world. "I'll be all right after some sleep, I think. It wasn't a... terrible night."

Compared to some nights she has had, tonight went well! Though Con insists that concepts of 'better' and 'worse' do not matter, Rae's human mind still seeks solace in knowing that her situation isn't nearly as bad as it could be.

She cups her tea mug carefully in her hands and brings it over to his table, moving with the care and slowness of one who aches all over and feels every individual bruise. She sits gingerly, taking a chair at Father Harman's table. "Though, if you know any way to make vampire politics not stupid and awful, I'm all ears."

"Unfortunately, my approach is rather unhelpful to your situation," Father Harman says. "Of course they are stupid and awful, so kill them all with fire if at all possible. But that is not what you or your world needs."

"No, that's what the authorities in my world want," Rae replies, shaking her head slightly. "But vampires in my world are... well, awful, yes... but they're not stupid. They're just as smart as they were when they were human. They've just be lied to by their masters for a long time. The one entity taking care of them when they are young and weak and confused. And once they get invested in the lie, it's hard to convince them they've been lied to. They don't want to believe it, even when there's proof."

She certainly wouldn't want someone to come to her and destroy her support network and then tell her that she could have lived better and stronger a different way. That all the terrible violence that had saved her life and shattered her worldview was completely unnecessary.

"Went to talk to a smaller gang, tonight. Their master was only a century or so old. Most of his followers are still young. Some of them still can... pass as human."

"So they can make individual choices, but just have been deprived of them by the vampire society that's been in place for almost ever?" Father Harman says. "Liberating but dangerous idea. No wonder they are scared of it on every level."

"Of course they would be," Rae says, with sympathy for them. "And those who've been in the... system longer like it even less. They're invested in seeing it continue, by then."

You wake up, your life forever changed, and you're told from day one that you must do terrible things to survive. That's just the way things are. You do the horrible things, benefit from them. They are good, though perhaps you remember a time when they were terrible to you. And then one day someone comes and tells you all of it was unnecessary. All those terrible things were actually weakening you all along.

Rae would be right there with them in denial.

"Vampires in my world get more allergic to daylight the longer they are vampires and feed on humans. After a while they can only go out under the new moon, because even reflected sunlight would be enough. Master vampires can't go out under the open sky at all.

"All the stars being suns, of course," Harman nods. "So by not feeding on humans, they are able to keep more of their humanity and remain able to make a conscious choice, rather than act on instinct or custom?"

Beat.

"I do understand why they baulk at it so much, too. Free will is hard, even for ordinary mortal humans."

"By not feeding on humans, they grow stronger as individuals. They can remain independent, neither dependent on a Master Vampire to protect them when they're young, nor as a Master Vampire, dependent on its gang when they are older. Master Vampires' strength comes from their ability to control others. Their strength of will."

Sometimes, she can still feel the burn of Bo's voice in her mind.

"In the traditional system, if they lose their gang, Master Vampires have little physical power on their own. And the strength of very young vampires is in numbers. Not following the traditional way means they don't have to depend on others all the rest of their... lives."

For lack of better word.

"But it completely dissolves their established society," Harman muses, "turning them into something almost human again, instead of pack hunters."

"Heh," Rae chuckles, tired. "Yeah. So of course the established members of society want to stop us. That's kind of how my ally and I met, really. He's evidence - proof that there's another, better way - they were seeking to destroy."

"Was he trying to convince the rest of vampire society all by himself?"

"I don't know if he was aiming at all of vampire society, being fractured as it is. His efforts were threatening the power of an old rival, whose gang had caught him."

"So you helped him escape?"

Rae nods a little. "We escaped together."

"and since then, you have been trying to change things together?"

"Yeah," Rae nods, tiredly. "Sometimes they're willing to listen. Sometimes not. These tonight... they were young. Once their master was dead, those who didn't run... they wanted to hear."

The experience of having to explain everything after the adrenaline terror of fighting is a new one. Not one she likes, but she'll take it.

"So destroying the master vampires first is sometimes necessary?"

Harman ponders.

"Slow and bloody work, then. Would you like some wine? Whiskey?"

"Slow and bloody just about covers it," she mutters. The whole thing is slow, but on individual nights, everything is so fast.

And bloody. Always bloody.

"Whiskey sounds brilliant, actually. Though I doubt I'll have any trouble getting to sleep once I go up and crash."

Father Harman fetches her a glass from the bar; it's the good stuff, actually.

"Helps you relax until then."

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