milliways_bar | (no subject)

Entry tags:

(no subject)

Jay wanders in from his door looking comfortingly rough - cut off shorts, no shirt, no shoes and a week's worth of stubble.

He grabs a shaving kit and a straight razor from the bar and vanishes into the bathroom, reemerging a few minutes later looking clean and content.

You can finally him sitting on the back step with a bottle of beer, cleaning and sharpening the razor.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"Because of the people watching or because of how he's dealing with the trauma?"

"Because he doesn't want me to touch him any more," Ragnar says, "especially not to make love. It's as if he had lost all desire, even for holding each other and kissing."

"That's... pretty normal. For someone whose been through what he has." Jay says softly. "It's not you, and it's not what you share, its just part of how he's processing. It might come back in time, it might not."

"Normal??"

Ragnar seems extremely astonished.

"For someone's sex-drive to take a spectacular dive after a traumatic event. Yeah, that's normal. You get so trapped in your own head that physical contact and all the emotional baggage that goes with it becomes too much. Too painful, too complicated, too heavy. To the point it can become physically painful to be touched, especially by someone you love. It's no-one's fault - it just is."

He shakes his head. "I'm probably not explaining this well but, maybe talk to someone professional about it. Like Alana, or Sam maybe. They might be able to frame it better but in my experience, having that desire to be touched just drop off a cliff is pretty normal."

"So what can I even do for him, except tell him I love him?" Ragnar says. "And get him back from England. But..."

"Just that - let him know he's not alone. That you love him for who he is and that you're there. He won't always know what he needs but help him to feel safe to tell you when he does."

He cocks his head ar the but...

Ragnar listens, and nods.

"It seems he's almost scared to go back," he says. "But that is the only way to go forward. I can not, however, just push him out the door."

"He's walking back to the people who did this to him. I don't blame him for hesitating. Took me ages to walk myself back out the door after what was done to me. And it wasn't even a fraction as bad as what he went through."

"But he suffers either way," Ragnar says. "He's not happy here, either."

"No, but he's safer here. And that's a hard thing to let go of. Happiness isn't going to be a place so much as safely and a lack of pressure."

"If I add pressure, or he thinks I do," Ragnar muses, "then it would be very unhelpful."

"It's not an easy balance. Things that seem perfectly sensible to you will seem really pressuring to him. All I can suggest is encouraging him to talk and taking everyone he says seriously, even if it seems ridiculous to you."

"It never seems ridiculous,' Ragnar says. "Just worrying."

Jay nods. "Sorry I can't help more than that. It's not easy loving someone whose dealing with trauma."

"He's my Athelstan," Ragnar says. "I love him. That's all that counts."

"That's all that matters." Jay agrees, "The rest is time and patience."

"Which I have," Ragnar says, as if trying to encourage himself.

"For him, you do." Jay encourages him. "And if I can help, all you gotta do is find me."

"Thank you," Ragnar says. quietly.

Jay gives him a gently shoulder bump in return. "I should get down the garage and see what mess the Drones have made in my absence. You're welcome to join me?"

(ooc: head towards fade?)

"Yes," Ragnar says. "Great idea. Let's see how the metal kids are doing."

[[OOC: good point here - thanks for the thread!]]

{ooc: thank you!}

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only