First Entrance

[rhymes_with_boss]

In walks a woman prison khakis and red inmate badge, long black hair, secretary glasses and tattoos, takes one look around, and props herself on the bar with a knowing smile.

Alex Vause has been in much more bizarre situations, and until she knows what exactly is going on, she's not going to show any surprise or ignorance at finding a bar right here in Litchfield Penitentiary.

Comments

[vyvyan]

"Bloody bloody bloody bloody bloody."

There is a guy nearby hitting his head against the wall.

[rhymes_with_boss]

Oh, whoah, that guy should be in psych.

He should not even be here, being a guy, and not a guard

But those rules seem to be off in the imaginary bar at the end of the laundry room.

Still, Alex doesn't try to step in. You try not to mess with the crazies.

[vyvyan]

She is probably right.

In any case, he stops banging his head on the wall and lets out a long sigh.

"What?" he asks the woman staring at him.

[rhymes_with_boss]

"Oh, nothing," she says. "Nothing at all. Do carry on; it's all cool."

[vyvyan]

Vyv is about to roll his eyes and storm off, but he notices something about the woman.

"You in the nick?"

[rhymes_with_boss]

"You're not in psych?" she answers.

[vyvyan]

"No. I just thought I changed, then I changed back when I went for a piss, and I'm having a shit day." Vyvyan says.

Okay maybe that does sound crazy.

"This is a magic bar. You're not in the nick any more."

Okay that also sounds crazy.

[rhymes_with_boss]

"It doesn't look like prison," Alex says. "And I'm not sure if I shouldn't be in psych, too, as I'm hallucinating crazy cockney punks."

Pause.

"But the day isn't entirely shitty if they sell drinks here, imaginary or not."

[vyvyan]

"First drink's free." Vyvyan says. "You can't pretend to be more than one person though, tried it, doesn't work."

[rhymes_with_boss]

"Do they take commissary?" she asks. "I'm all out of real money."

[vyvyan]

"I think they've got a brothel upstairs for that." Vyv says, having no idea what commissary is. "But a nice girl like you can probably just start a tab."

[rhymes_with_boss]

"That's not what I meant," Alex says, deciding to misunderstand him rather than get into an argument. "Do you think they'll open a tab for an inmate, though?"

[vyvyan]

"I don't see why not." Vyvyan says. "You have to pay it eventually but I'm sure you'll work it out."

[rhymes_with_boss]

"Well, then I'll have my free drink and buy you one," she says. "How about that?"

Seems they don't give alcohol to the crazies here, but there are worse things, by her book.

[vyvyan]

"Oh brill, thanks." Vyvyan grins. "I'm Vyvyan. Mine's a babycham."

He'll buy her one back some time, when he actually has money.

[rhymes_with_boss]

"That is pear cider, isn't it?"

Surprisingly tame and healthy drink, for a cockney punk. But, well, who is she to judge?

So she orders a babycham, and a glass of Napa Valley chardonnay for herself.

"There you go."

[vyvyan]

"Cheers." Vyvyan raises the glass.

It's not the only thing he drinks. Sometimes there's vodka, or raw tea, or that blue stuff, or potion.

"What did they lock you up for then?" he asks.

[rhymes_with_boss]

"Black sector logistics, also known as transporting illegal things from A to B," she says. "Cheers!"

She takes a sip from her wine, and then sighs deeply.

Oh yes, that's the real thing -- or rather, if this is a hallucination, it's welcome to take over all her brain.

[vyvyan]

"What like smuggling?"

[rhymes_with_boss]

"You could call it that," she says.

[vyvyan]

"Shame you got caught." Vyvyan says. "Good source of cheap vodka."

[rhymes_with_boss]

She laughs. "Among other things."

[vyvyan]

"I've just been in the cells here." Vyv says, more soberly. "Because someone got killed trying to kill me, but he came back to life, so they let me out."

[rhymes_with_boss]

"Death doesn't seem very permanent here," she remarks.

[vyvyan]

"Depends who it is. Me and him, we can both regenerate, so we're probably exceptions."