milliways_bar | (no subject)

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[Warning: Elves]

Clementine's just looking to relax. It's been a very trying time for her, trying to choose between staying at Milliways and going home and sorting out the mess that is her conviction. She's eating pizza and staring morosely at her plate when she coughs and curses under her breath. Looking up, she lets out a squawk.

There's a doll.

Staring at her.

On top of the bar. Where one wasn't before.

"What the fuck?" she mutters, pizza dripping from the corner of her mouth.

The next time she looks up there isn't just one doll.

There's five.

Assistance appreciated.

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Clem is shortly followed by her significant other/boytoy... who is just as confused and creeped out as she is.

"The fuck am I looking at here?"

He's pretty sure he didn't drink THAT much last night.

Sam's cursing earns them another two elves, which is enough to make Clem lean back from the bar.

"Uh....elves?"

She swallows her pizza.

"Elves that don't like it when we say fuck?"

Yeah. That earns her two more elves. They're all lined up and staring up at Sam and Clem with their judgy eyes.

Edited 2016-12-06 03:48 (UTC)

"Sh...shoot."

This is awkward.

"Do they do anything else?"

"I don't know..." she admits, tilting her head.

They just seem to be sitting there. Endlessly judging the two of them. As if they can eat their souls.

"It's pretty...Milliways weirdness a go-go," she decides.

"Stuff's usually not too dangerous here, right?"

It's not always the friendliest place in the world, but they do generally try to avoid killing the clientele.

"Depends on what you'd call 'dangerous'."

She did get turned into a bird for awhile.

He shrugs, turning back to the creepy dolls.

"Are you here for a reason?"

He's not really expecting an answer, but eh, can't hurt to ask. (Probably.)

The doll just stares up at him. Doesn't move. But there's a certain eerie quality to its inanimateness.

"Let's not fuck with them. It might be some kind of Bride of Chucky situation."

Do the elves want their blood? She does not know.

"Eesh, weird."

He inches away from the eerie bunch

"So just ignore 'em then?"

"We can try."

She's trying hard. But the things are just creepy as all hell. Their little red cheeks and elfin smiles..

"Yeaaaah."

He's still side-eying the creepy little things as he orders his own meal.

Good thing he's keeping an eye on them.

One seems to be creeping eeever so slightly closer to him.

Bit by bit.

Inch by inch...

As his food arrives, he offhandedly points a fork at the elf.

"Might not wanna get too close, buddy. You never know where this might end up."

"Do you think Santa's gonna give us coal if we get rid of them?"

Of course Santa Claus is real here, Sam. And Clem met him - once.

It's a sign of how chaotic their lives are that he doesn't think to question this.

"I don't mind 'em being here, I just don't like 'em creeping up on me like that."

He eyes the doll, looking up at him with its creepy eyes.

"Just stay there and we'll be good. 'Kay?"

"If it helps I don't think they're killers. I mean, I've been face to face with fuckers like that and usually it's easy to see when they're crazy. Even when they're dolls. Do you think we have to make a blood sacrifice to them or something? I could burn some incense or something."

Clem's vaguely karma-based religious leanings don't help her when faced with vaguely judeo-christian dolls.

"I'd say no on the blood sacrifice, but the incense probably wouldn't hurt."

They can't object to a little scented smoke.... right?

She asks bar for a couple of sticks, an ashtray and some matches; vanilla-peppermint scented, to be as inoffensive as possible.

Clem waves the lit stick before the various dolls. "We mean you no harm! We come in peace and solidarity!" Yes, she's shouting.

"I think they can hear you, babe. You don't need to shout."

It's hard to gauge a reaction on the small herd of implacable elf faces. They look.... slightly wary, if anything

"You never know," she points out. "They might be possessed or something!"

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