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Deadpool is sitting on a comfortable couch by the fireplace. He's surrounded by a pile of sharp objects. A couple swords, a combat knife, several pouches full of throwing knives, a few shuriken...you get the idea.

He's industriously cleaning, sharpening, and polishing all of them. It's a lot more focused energy than you usually see from Deadpool.

Oh wait, he's humming In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida under his breath, and occasionally doing an air guitar solo. He's probably fine.

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Deadpool looks up at her, and then back down at his array of weapons.

"Funny, I didn't think sword oil had any hallucinatory properties."

He looks back up at her. "I think I saw a porno like this once."

X does not sigh.

She pulls the hooded mask from her face, sitting down at the table and giving Jonathan an opportunity to look at all the edges weapons his heart desires.

"No."

Beat.

"Logan is dead. And Wolverine is useful. So it is me. Now."

Jeeze, Wade. Gross.

"Hey, you look better in his costume than he'd look in yours, okay?"

No one needs to see Wolverine in a midriff baring crop top. No one.

"Right?! Anyway do you mean like, he's dead Jim, or like he's dead like Jean Grey?"

"An old version from him exists. From a different universe."

X does sigh, this time.

"I am dead. There. Sometimes he is irrational about that."

And, you know. Tries to kill Gabby.

"So it is probably more like Jean."

"Well that's good, at least. I'd hate to have to break out the time travel gear and go on a rescue mission only to have him show up and drink all the beer before I get back.

"Not that I care or anything. This is a hypothetical situation wherein the X-Men would have to beg me to help them out, obviously."

The lady doth protest too much.

"Rrrr, forget it," he says. "Is he silver fox Wolverine? That's weird."

"He is my brother."

Please stop, Deadpool.

Please, for the love of God.

"I MEANT DID HE GO GRAY."

"Not Grey, because that has weirder implications."

"I do not want to be related to Scott."

You are the worst, Deadpool.

"His hair is gray. Yes. And he is even more grizzled."

Beat.

"It is relevant?"

"Who does?"

Probably no one! Not even Nate was too keen on it, sometimes. Too many last names already.

"And nah," Deadpool says, picking up some throwing knives to finish polishing. "Not really, just wondering. Has he been here? Or was it just a crossover event?"

"Not the old one. But Logan comes here."

Something in the set of her face softens.

"It is good. When I miss him."

"How can you miss the guy when he won't go away, is on three teams, and shows up from multiple alternate universes? That's a little too much Wolverine for anyone but neckbeards born in the late 80s, if you ask me."

Obviously Marvel comics did not ask Deadpool.

X shrugs, one-shouldered and quick.

"I like when people know me."

There is a slight emphasis on the 'me'.

Deadpool deflates a little.

"Yeah, okay, I can see how that might be part of it."

X takes in that deflation and nudges Deadpool's foot with hers. A little.

"And it is funny. When he is grumpy."

"Hahaha, you're not kidding. It's extra hilarious when you piss him off hard enough that he tries to take out your spleen! Wolvie's always good for knock-down drag-out."

He kicks her back. Gently!

"Hey, if he really kicked the bucket, we can totally combine our powers and solve the problem in our own unique fashion, promise!"

Weapon X forever, yo.

"He is."

X can only agree.

"And I will tell you. If there is a way to bring him back."

A pause.

"He was encased in adamantium. And it went missing."

Weapon X forever, indeed.

"Entirely?! He got Han Soloed in adamantium?!" He stares at her.

That is so cool...and so stupid.

"That seems kind of cost prohibitive! I mean, he's short, but that's a lot of freaking adamantium... Sheesh."

X offers a one-shouldered shrug again.

"Sometimes people are desperate. And stupid."

"Yeah, but you could buy an army of mercenaries with that kind of dough! Or a spaceship! Or heck, you could probably just hire him and tell him to take two weeks and go visit Japan! There are better plans, is all I'm saying here."

He shakes his head.

X considers this.

"I would like to buy a spaceship."

What?

"The Guardians of the Galaxy have needed help. In the past."

"Well, there you go! You can hunt him down, and trade him for a spaceship. Before or after you pull Wolvie out, I'm not picky.

"What kind of spaceship are we talking here? Give me details, sister. I want to hear all your hopes and dreams."

"You know Peter Quill?"

His is the only non-Skrull spaceship X has been on.

Except for Corsair's.

She did not like that one much.

"Name rings a bell... was that the Genesis guy, or the one who made it sound like his guitar was talking? That always freaked me out."

Deadpool adopts a considering pose.

X blinks twice.

"I do not know what any of that means."

Guitars? Genesis? Geonosis?

"He also goes by Star-Lord."

"Oh, that guy. Sure, his mini series wasn't bad, but he must be getting a lot more popular in your day and age."

All those dang Chrises...