milliways_bar | (no subject)

Wilford didn't know there were cherry trees here either. But he's not outside for that. He's out here to smoke, and watch his dog dig a giant hole in the mud. He's not planning on doing anything about the hole, or the mud, or the eventual mess that will make its way into the bar, but at least he is aware of these things. That counts for something, right?

Then something catches Buster's attention, and suddenly the hole is forgotten as he runs off after something Wilford didn't see. He winds up at the bottom of one of the trees, barking up into the branches like an idiot.

Not an angry idiot. Just an idiot that wants attention.

YT pulls out the one earbud she had in her ear and looks down at the enthusiastically barking Buster. "Hey Buster," she says. "Glad you're doing okay." Shit, he looks like he's trying to jump right up to her branch.

(She hasn't seen Wilford yet.)

Oh, she hasn't seen trying yet. This is just an excited hello!

He wiggles and twists around, trying to reach her from where he's still somewhat firmly planted to the ground, but she's still a little too high up. How tricky!

Wilford has noticed YT. But he hangs back quietly, not wanting to be accused of anything else quite so soon.

"I don't think you're set up to climb trees, Buster," YT says. Although he sure is trying! "Want me to come down there?" She holds on to a small branch above her head, slings one leg over the branch she's sitting on, gets ready to climb down. "I'm not feeding you again, just so's you know. These are new shoes."

And that Fry kid has Buster's feeding schedule worked out, anyway.

If Buster were capable of such things, he'd take that as a challenge. Or maybe he is capable of such things, because he picks that moment to really try. He backs up a few steps, and then springs straight up into the tree, almost seeming to run along the trunk for half a second before scrabbling onto a branch. A branch that was not meant to hold a gangly, fidgety dog. Suddenly, he regrets this decision a lot.

"Well, you fucked it up this time, didn't you?" Wilford calls up to him.

Buster whines. Pathetically.

Aw, shit. "For the record, this is totally not my fault," YT calls to Pinkstache. And this time it really isn't.

Wilford isn't even looking at YT as he approaches the tree she and Buster are in. He flings his cigarette butt away into the grass and looks up at the predicament with his hands on his hips.

"What? You expect me to do something about it?" he asks.

Buster whines again. Yes?

Now, Wilford does acknowledge YT. "What'd you taunt him for?"

Does she not know dogs speak English?

"Fuck you, Pinkstache. Not like I invited him to join me up this tree for tea and cookies."

And there's a problem, in that the branch Buster is on was part of YT's path up the tree, and may be essential to her getting back down. She's still evaluating her options.

Edited 2017-04-07 00:52 (UTC)

"You taunted him."

And, being Wilford's dog, Buster responded appropriately. And now nobody's happy.

He gets under the branch and reaches up with the intent to just pull Buster down by the collar, but Buster has other ideas. He fidgets just enough to let Wilford know that if he gets pulled down, somebody will wind up with a broken bone.

"What, by just talking to him?" YT did not sign up for this today. "Shit. We gonna need a firefighting ladder or something to get him down?"

"No, he's fucking telepathic."

Obviously by talking to him.

Wilford crosses his arms over his chest and watches Buster regret his decision.

"Well, that's what you get."

More whining from Buster. This time aimed at YT, since he is clearly getting no sympathy from home.

YT's sympathy is fast running out, though. "Just how the hell am I supposed to get you out of this?" YT snaps at Buster.

I mean, seriously.

Well, fine then. Buster goes back to whining at Wilford.

Wilford came into this with negative sympathy. It's his patience that's running thin now.

"Fucking Christ," he mutters, looking up at the situation and trying to figure out who would cause the least damage if he grabbed them by the ankle and just pulled.

"Hey, Pinkstache. If I get on the ground, will Buster try and follow me down?"

Might be worth a shot. YT thinks she can drop to the ground okay from a couple of branches down.

Wilford glares at her. He hates how scrawny and totally unintimidating he is now.

"If not, I'll have room to yank him down."

YT would probably treat him the same way if he were his full-sized self. When faced with a larger opponent (or potential opponent, anyway), YT makes up for her small size with sheer 'tude.

She goes down to the next lowest branch, and then the one below that, shimmies out to halfway along its length, and then drops so she's dangling from it. Shortly after, she lets go and lands on the ground. Plenty of practice skateboarding makes it easy for her to take the impact. She stands up, stretches her legs, crosses her arms, looks at Buster. "Look, dog. If I can do it, you can do it too. Get the fuck back down here."

Buster makes a sound like he's going to disagree, but Wilford doesn't give him the chance to finish that thought. He reaches up to try to grab him by the collar, but now with YT out of the way, he has even more room to wiggle out of the way.

Wilford sighs, flashes an annoyed look to YT, and climbs up the tree after the idiot stuck in it.

"Heads up," he says, assuming YT will catch on to what he's got planned. He gets one hand on the dog's collar, and uses the other to grab him by the tail and spin him so his hind end dangles down to be grabbed.

"Quit your bitching," he tells Buster when the whining starts up again.

YT knows how to grab a squirming dog. She stands on her toes and wraps her arms around Buster, just under his ribcage. "I can get him the rest of the way down," she says. Buster's kind of heavy, but not too heavy for that.

"Good."

Wilford lets go, and waits until they're both out of the way to get down out of the tree.

Once he's back on solid ground, Buster can't seem to decide if he wants to grovel at their feet, or run away in shame. It turns into some sort of weird, twisted squirming away on his back, with his back end in the air.

"Idiot," Wilford says. He needs another cigarette after that fiasco.

YT, although she is pretty pissed at Buster, pets him. "Is Buster retarded or something?" Pause. "That Fry kid said he had special needs." That means retarded, right?

"Probably," Wilford says as he lights his cigarette. "You'd be too if someone bounced a car off your head."

A fact that probably also explains his lack of front teeth, and that big missing chunk out of one of his ears.

Well, okay, that means Buster's brain-damaged, not retarded. Not that there's a whole lot of difference, YT supposes. "Sounds like Buster can't catch a fuckin' break."

Wait. Why is YT having a conversation with Pinkstache? Now that the Buster-in-a-tree crisis is resolved there's no reason to stay in his general vicinity.

Except for Buster, who could use some love. YT has a weakness for unfortunate dogs. She would feel bad about walking away from him. Stupid dog.

Wilford considers the three cigarettes left in the pack, before offering one to YT. It's pretty much the only way he knows how to show he's not here entirely for a fight.

She did help get Buster out of the tree, after all.

"Maybe he shouldn't play in the street, then."

Buster seems to care more about YT at the moment, and getting her to rub just the right spot on his belly.

YT blinks at the cigarette. Takes her a second to realize it's a peace offering. "No thanks," YT says, actually sounding semi-friendly. "I've already hit my quota for bad habits." And at such a young age, too!

(Meanwhile, she obligingly rubs Buster's belly.)

Good. That's one less cigarette to have to scrounge up later. The crumpled pack goes back into his pocket, where he can hopefully leave it alone for a little longer than usual.

"So what's the story with Jim?" he asks, watching YT play with his dog.