AU week 2017: paleontologically accurate scientific genius

[so_many_crystals]

The door opens, and a form scuttles in.

...Oh. It's that guy again.

Yep, it's Doctor Dinosaur. As usual, he has lots of pointy teeth, several sharp claws, and two beady yellow eyes filled with megalomaniacal cunning. Also as usual, he has several miscellaneous containers and implements strapped to his back. Today they're a little harder to see, because he's also wearing a white lab coat, which he's thrown over the lot.

Unlike usual (except, for this week, it is the usual), he's roughly the size of a large turkey. And covered in red and brown feathers.

(That lab coat might have been stolen from a Little Junior Scientist Halloween costume or something.)

That's right: Doctor Dinosaur currently is, in fact, a paleontologically accurate Velociraptor mongoliensis.

Comments

[harryhotspur]

...huh, a dinosaur.

Being a proper tomboy, Harry of course had a dinosaur phase as a kid, though it was less scientific than mashing action figures together and using I'M A DINOSAUR as an excuse to run at people and scream.

But it's enough to draw her eye to this one!

[so_many_crystals]

It hisses at her.

From knee level. Ferocious!

(Okay, those teeth and claws and all do look pretty formidable. But on the other hand, it's a feathery thing covered in a lumpy lab coat, from which it was fishing what sure looks like a pair of goggles a moment ago.)

[harryhotspur]

"Hey," she says warningly, like you might to a growling dog.

[so_many_crystals]

The dinosaur snaps on its goggles, which involves a certain amount of maneuvering around its feathery crest, and squints at her.

"Bah! A typically puny monosyllabic mammal attempt at communication."

He sounds like he enjoys feeling superior. Because he does.

[harryhotspur]

Her eyes go wide, and she retreats a step. "You-- talk--!?"

[so_many_crystals]

"Of course I talk! Much better than you."

Smug smug smuggity smug. His gape-mouthed grin of toothy satisfaction looks weirder when it's surrounded by feathers, though.

"I am a super-genius."

[harryhotspur]

"--you're a dinosaur."

Surely 'dinosaur' and 'super-genius' are mutually exclusive.

[farouche_bravoure]

Fantine, who has remained blithely unchanged by AU week, wanders in.

--and there's a bird.

Fantine usually likes birds, but--

--oh, well, it's not this one's fault how he looks! "Hello! What a sweet little one," she half-coos.

[so_many_crystals]

!!!

"Am not!"

[farouche_bravoure]

"Oh, you can talk!" Fantine says with delight. "Why, pardon me, I didn't mean to be rude. My name is Fantine."

(A talking...turkey? She's never heard of such a thing. It certainly doesn't look like a parrot.)

[so_many_crystals]

Hmmm. Maybe she can live, for now.

He's still deciding.

In the meantime: "I am... DOCTOR DINOSAUR!"

He waits expectantly for the appropriate awe, shock, and/or horror.

[farouche_bravoure]

He may be waiting for that! But what he gets is a giggle.

"A doctor! You're a doctor?"

How sweet.

[so_many_crystals]

He hisses at the giggle, loudly.

"And a genius beyond your feeble mammal comprehension!!"

[foolyoutwice]

Whaaaaaat. A dinosaur in a white coat. Who knows whether Cat Thor is into this stuff, but forget Cat Thor for now, Loki is going to check this out.

Check it out by staying right on his bar stool and tossing scraps of meat until the dinosaur looks his way.

[so_many_crystals]

[OOC: *CACKLING LOUDLY FOREVER*]

The dinosaur hisses at the weirdly helmeted cat-person-thing. Whatever it is, it's clearly a mammal, and that's good enough for his knee-jerk antagonism!

"You cannot lure me so easily, filthy mammal cat!"

His voice is... kinda squeaky. Like if the normal Doctor Dinosaur had taken a nice big breath of helium.

[foolyoutwice]

Oooh, "filthy mammal cat," that's a real zinger. Loki is wounded.

"What should I lure you with?"

[so_many_crystals]

All of his insults are zingers! Because he's a genius! Just ask him; he'll tell you at great length and volume.

"I cannot be lured! I am a genius."

Obviously.

"Except perhaps by the destruction of your mammal timeline. Which I will arrange soon."

As soon as he gets his equipment working right. Just because his plans haven't worked the last several times is no reason to think they won't work flawlessly this time!

[foolyoutwice]

"Well...whose mammal timeline?" Because honestly there are a lot of mammal timelines Loki just can't be bothered to care about.

Oh, wait, but it's the sort of thing Cat Thor cares about. "Because naturally I am bound to stop you, for I am CAT THOR, defender of the Nine Realms. And some other realms. Lots of realms."

[so_many_crystals]

"All of them!!!"

He sounds so proud of himself.

"Bah! Your pitiable mammal realms are beneath the notice of DOCTOR DINOSAUR."

[cutting_edgex23]

X looks down at Doctor Dinosaur.

And down.

And down.

And --

"I like your feathers."

Beat.

"Please do not set anyone on fire. Or melt them with acid."

Or, you know. Bite their ankles and/or knees.

[so_many_crystals]

His feathered head snaps up to glare beadily at her, and so does his feathery crest. "You can't tell me what to do! I outsmart you."

Smugly, he adds, "And yes, they are very beautiful."

He's the prettiest homicidal loose cannon anachronism of all!!

[cutting_edgex23]

X does not sigh.

"You can make the effort."

[so_many_crystals]

"I'll set your disgusting mammal face on fire," he mutters. Squeakily.

It's pretty half-hearted, though, because he's gotten distracted by preening his arm-feathers. It's harder with a lab coat, even if he did hack a slit into the sleeves to let the feathers poke through.

[cutting_edgex23]

"I heal," X says, matter-of-factly.

"Do you want help? With preening. I am not terrible at it."

[so_many_crystals]

!!!

"No!!"

He is DEEPLY OFFENDED. (He is not a social groomer. At least not with mammals.

Possibly not with anyone. His social skills are, uh, kind of weighted towards the C4 end of the interaction scale.)

"Keep your filthy mammal forepaws off my beautiful feathers. You'll get cooties on them."