(no subject)

[cottoncandypink]

Wilford has learned something new about himself. He is terrible at anything even remotely domestic. He's had to get away from it all before he loses his mind, which he's very much likely to if this goes on any longer.

He's supposed to be looking at paint swatches, which are sitting ignored on the table while he plays Tetris on his phone and eats dinner, since apparently his stove won't work until he calls the gas company. It means Buster gets his dinner here tonight as well, which he's enjoying messily beneath the table.

Comments

[iprotectyou]

Baze approaches the table with two items in his hands: a bottle of moonshine, and a cranberry juice box. He sets them both down on the wood, beaming.

"Hoi, Asshole! May the Force of others be with you," Baze says, clearly plotting something diabolical.

"I'd like you to learn how to apologize. If you make progress, you get the moonshine. If not, you get the juice box."

And there it is.

[cottoncandypink]

Wilford looks up, instantly suspicious. And then Baze lays out his plan, and he's not sure of he should be offended or not.

"The fuck are you talking about?" he asks.

Fuck, he forgot about his game. There's an I-brick blocking everything up now. While he tries to figure out if it's worth fixing that, Buster immediately cosies up to Baze and licks his knee.

[iprotectyou]

Baze waves a hand at Buster.

"Shoo," the Guardian says, and then turns his mega-watt smile on Wilford.

"You don't know how to apologize. It's time you learned. Apologizing is a skill that will serve you well as an adult."

[cottoncandypink]

Buster does not 'shoo.' He licks Baze's hand instead.

"Of course I know how. It's not my fault if someone doesn't want to accept it," Wilford defends.

[iprotectyou]

"Oh, really?" Baze says, folding his arms to get his hands away from the dog.

"I'd love a demonstration."

[cottoncandypink]

Wilford is not a dancing monkey. It just so happens that his dog is being an irritating brat again, so he bends down to pull him away.

"He doesn't like you back. Leave him alone," he says, directing Buster back to the crumbs on his plate.

There, see. He can totally apologise!

[iprotectyou]

"Is that it?" Baze says, incredulous. He nudges the juice box towards Wilford.

"That was the worst apology I've ever heard. First of all, you need to address the person you've wronged. Secondly, you need to say the words, 'I'm sorry.' Thirdly, you need to promise that you won't wrong them again."

Baze sighs. "You're not stupid. I know you can get this."

[cottoncandypink]

Wilford's game is all sorts of fucked up now, so he closes it out before he even has a chance to lose.

"I'm sorry for what?" he asks.

There was a problem, he addressed it, and now the problem has stopped. That's good enough, isn't it?

[iprotectyou]

Baze opens the bottle of moonshine, but leaves the brown glass on the table.

"I was hoping you could apologize to Chirrut for getting me killed."

[cottoncandypink]

"I did," Wilford says. He remembers it quite clearly. "He chose to kick my ass instead."

Buster has found every last speck of his dinner and returns to Baze for attention.

[iprotectyou]

"You offered him payment for a dead man," Baze says, ignoring Buster entirely.

"If you'd apologized, he would have told me. You didn't."

[cottoncandypink]

"No I didn't," Wilford says. "I couldn't find you, and wanted to give you your paycheque before I got locked out again. I figured he'd pass it along when you finally showed up."

Buster doesn't like being ignored, so he licks Baze's knee some more.

[iprotectyou]

"That's still not an apology," Baze says, finally pushing Buster's head away.

[upwiththisiwillnotput]

"Hey, I believe this is yours."

Bernard hands him an (empty) gun.

[cottoncandypink]

Wilford looks down at the gun, slightly confused at first. This one’s been missing for ages. He thought he’d find it upstairs when the door finally came back for him, but it wasn’t in the new room with the rest of his stuff. And it didn’t disappear by virtue of being a weapon, because a few other small pistols had been moved over just fine.

“Where’d you get this?”

[upwiththisiwillnotput]

"You pointed it at my head and then tried to shoot the wall so I took it off you." Bernard says. "You were on your face on some rubbish. I never thought I'd be saying this to anyone but whatever you're taking it's either too much or not enough."

[cottoncandypink]

"Huh? I don't remember that."

It doesn't mean it didn't happen, of course. Especially if, as Bernard suggests, he was high.

"Depends on who you ask, I guess."

[upwiththisiwillnotput]

"I mean Jesus, you were screaming about fish in the walls." Bernard says. "Stick to wine. Drink?"

[cottoncandypink]

Wilford has beer, which he lifts to show Bernard. It's still mostly full, because he's been avoiding the paint swatches on the table.

"Christ, that was years ago."

It wasn't. He forgets that sometimes.

[upwiththisiwillnotput]

"It was last week." Bernard says.

Man, this guy has it bad.

[cottoncandypink]

"Seriously?"

Wilford sighs a grumbly sigh. He hates this place sometimes. He'd like for time to just behave once in a while. That would be nice.

"Well, it was years ago from where I'm standing."

[upwiththisiwillnotput]

"You should probably see a doctor." Bernard says casually, drinking his wine. "Or lick whatever you're taking first."

He points to one of the swatches. "That one won't show the dirt as much."

[cottoncandypink]

"See a doctor for what?"

The hell is Bernard talking about.

"And how filthy do you think I am?"

[upwiththisiwillnotput]

"Thinking you've gained two years in a week." Bernard says.

He shrugs. "I'm not saying you're dirty, I'm just saving you time. Manny's always banging on about painting the shop white, which is just ridiculous."

[cottoncandypink]

Wilford pretends to consider this. "It's been a hell of a week, then. I must have imagined getting a new position at the network, moving to another state, and getting my own show."

Obviously it's been a couple of years for him.