milliways_bar | Evil Karaoke post

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Evil Karaoke post

The machine waits, it sits in the corner near the piano and the jukebox blending in and watching for its moment.

Cassian walks in from a busy street and slips his way through the crowd of Milliways towards the counter, but there's a turn he didn't expect. Then suddenly he's holding a device and singing. When he tries to stop singing he can't so he sings along with anger in his voice, he hates being the center of attention.

Well, no cannonballs did fly, no rifles cut us down
No bombs fell from the sky, no blood soaked the ground
No powder flash blinded the eye, no deathly thunder sounded
But just as sure as the hand of God, they brought death to my hometown
They brought death to my hometown, boys

No shells ripped the evening sky, no cities burning down
No army stormed the shores for which we'd die, no dictators were crowned
I awoke from a quiet night, I never heard a sound
The marauders raided in the dark and brought death to my hometown, boys
Death to my hometown.

They destroyed our families, factories, and they took our homes
They left our bodies on the plains, the vultures picked our bones

So listen up, my sonny boy, be ready for when they come
For they'll be returning sure as the rising sun
Now get yourself a song to sing and sing it 'til you're done
Yeah, sing it hard and sing it well
Send the robber barons straight to hell
The greedy thieves who came around
And ate the flesh of everything they found
Whose crimes have gone unpunished now
Who walk the streets as free men now

Ah, they brought death to our hometown, boys
Death to our hometown, boys
Death to our hometown, boys
Death to our hometown, whoa!

When the song ends with a dramatic flourish, he stumbles to a table as the karaoke machine moves to its next victim

OOC: The Karaoke machine is awake. I'm going to set up threads for others to sing and to watch in horror. Open to any reactions or to make your characters sing whether they want to or not. Tag in wherever works. And open for ages. Link in post leads to a video of Bruce Springsteen singing.
Tiny tag: Cassian Andor

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Finally the karaoke releases Cassian and he makes his way to a seat when he sees Bastion, "Kriffing machine made me sing."

Bastion shrinks back with concern and startlement, making a whirr that sounds as unpleasantly surprised as they look. // It can do that?

"I don't know how, but my feet couldn't move," A rat passes by and Cassian orders a beer.

Bastion turns their head to give the karaoke machine a suspicious look-over. They're onto it.

One of the lights on the machine blinks, and they're not sure if it was a response to them. They turn back to Cassian. "Zwee-zoop?" // Are you okay?

Then they remember that he can't understand omnicode, and that they didn't bring anything to write on. Oops.

"Did it say something to you? It didn't hurt me, I just don't like being made to do things,"

He's had too much of that in his life.

Bastion answers Cassian's question with an uncertain-sounding whirr, tilting their head in consideration. The machine didn't say anything to them that Cassian couldn't hear, but it could have been trying to communicate with its lights. Although, if it was, they didn't understand what it meant.

That last sentence is something they can sympathise with. They're glad the karaoke machine didn't do any physical harm to him, at least.

The rat hurries over with Cassian's beer and he takes a long sip, "I didn't even know it was there."

Bastion bwirps an inquiry at the waitrat. It cocks its head, looking confused, and scurries off to the bar.

The rat returns without any deliveries, but it is now wearing a tiny pair of headphones. It squeaks expectantly at Bastion, who answers with a warbling whistle. // Could you bring me my whiteboard, marker, and eraser from Bar, please?

Cassian watches this whole exchange, trying to figure out what's going on.

The rat heads back to the bar, apparently satisfied with whatever answer Bastion gave it.

"Did the rat understand you?"

Bastion nods, and makes an affirmative whirr. They then crane their neck forwards to get a better look at the sinister karaoke machine that has the power to make people sing against their will. This corner of the bar doesn't look familiar, but they won't let it sneak up on them next time they pass this way.

"Its not that big of a device."

The headphone-wearing rat comes back, balancing Bastion's whiteboard like a dinner tray with the dry-erase marker and eraser atop it. Bastion thanks the waitrat with a cheery voo-vwhee and sets the whiteboard down on the table.

"Oh that will make things easier, thank you."

Bastion gives Cassian a thumbs-up, then picks up the marker to write.

'The rat didn't understand me the first time, but those headphones must translate omnicode into something audible to a rat. Probably their own language.'

"I see. Not everyone understands all the droids on my world, some people don't take the time to learn binary so droids find various ways to communicate."

Bastion tilts their head thoughtfully, mulling this over.

'It sounds like binary is a more audio-based language than omnicode. Humans can't understand spoken omnicode without cybernetic parts or external equipment, because most of it is a wireless data transmission. The audio carries inflection, not words.'

They add, 'And I keep forgetting that most of you don't have wireless receivers when I try to talk to humans.'

"It is and I can see that. There probably is an equivalent to that in my world but I've never used them."

Bastion writes, 'If the droids in your world had a common full-audio language already, it makes sense that wireless languages would be limited to specialist applications.'

"Yes, then some droids are made for communication like protocol and security droids."

Bastion erases the whiteboard and then starts writing their reply.

'Most modern omnics purpose-built for a specific job are combat models. The majority of civilian-model omnics are shaped similarly to humans, have full phonetic audio output, and have no specialized parts unless they added them by choice. Combat models can usually only produce speech in omnicode.'

"How many types of models are there? In terms of droids, I don't think I could tell you all the models just general types."

Bastion gazes vaguely upwards and to the side, thinking about how best to categorize the different types, before they write their answer.

'I don't know every type of omnic, but I can outline some general categories. Bastion units like me are the type of combat omnic produced in the largest quantities and we made up most of the omnic troops, although there are other types of combat bipeds under 3m tall. Most omniums also made omnic planes and tanks, bipedal artillery models upwards of 10m tall, and miscellaneous specialized infantry models to supplement the Bastion units in the field.'

'Before the war there were more non-combat utilitarian models of omnics, primarily built for construction work, but most were either destroyed or repurposed for combat.'

Cassian nods as all those make sense compared to what he knows from droids, "Yes, when there's war, that's what everything does tend to turn to."

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