(no subject)

[guppy_sandhu]

Guppy is on his phone when he gets to the doorway, and hovers for a moment knowing he's about to lose signal.

"Well, Miss Hebblethwaite, Brooklyn certainly didn't get the firework from our house, we don't even have them for New Year or Bonfire Night." he says firmly. "So she must have got it from someone else at school... no, quite frankly I wouldn't take her explanation very seriously, last week she told me aliens ate all the biscuits. Frankly I'm very concerned that the school allowed her to get hold of a firework... yes, thank you."

He hangs up, steps into the bar, and takes a breath. No prizes for guessing where Brooke got hold of a firework. At least one of his children knows how to lie so outrageously that adults just give up. He never thought he'd be glad for that.

"Bar, anyone been giving out fireworks around here?" he asks, getting his cup of tea. "Brooke's been caught trying to selotape one to her teacher's chair." He sips his tea. "It wasn't a big one, but that's not really the point."

Bar isn't telling, apparently.

Comments

[omgplsstop]

Guppy's conversation with the Bar goes overheard. Nearby, Nichola is going over intern contracts while eating lunch, minding her own business until she hears that. And then she almost laughs.

"You've got one of those too?"

Only hers is not a small child.

[guppy_sandhu]

"A daughter?" Guppy asks, giving her a small smile.

[omgplsstop]

"An arsonist."

Though, it sounds like it may be the same thing in Guppy's case.

[guppy_sandhu]

"Oh, yeah." Guppy chuckles. "Though on this occasion she was apparently trying to make her teacher fly, which is slightly less disturbing for a five year old."

[omgplsstop]

"Oh, yeah. That's completely normal."

It's not immediately clear if Nichola is being sarcastic or not. She probably is, right?

"Gotta put those leftovers to good use somehow, right?"

[guppy_sandhu]

"It wasn't big enough to do any sort of actual harm beyond singing the chair, at least." Guppy says. "But it's more the principle of the matter! Fortunately she couldn't find enough selotape or anything to light it with."

[omgplsstop]

Nichola tries not to laugh. It is kind of funny when she's not the one who has to pay for the damages.

"At least that means you don't have to replace anything."

Nichola is very good at looking at the bright side!

[guppy_sandhu]

"My older two children can't lie for toffee." Guppy says. "Fortunately Brooke is capable of passing the blame onto a mystery individual. Never thought I'd be grateful for that. They all know they can't talk about this place outside."

[omgplsstop]

"Why not?"

That seems to genuinely confuse Nichola. Wouldn't you want to tell all your friends about your super secret pocket dimension that nobody else can get to? Nichola's been rubbing it in everyone's faces all week.

[guppy_sandhu]

"Raises too many awkward questions." Guppy says. "Fortunately when they have had the odd slip we've managed to blame it on television."

[omgplsstop]

"Are kids not allowed here?"

She hasn't quite figured out yet that this isn't normal.

[guppy_sandhu]

"They're allowed here. They have their own door so I have no choice." Guppy says. "But it would be frowned upon back home."

[omgplsstop]

This is more interesting than intern contracts. Nichola puts her pen down and turns to face Guppy properly. "Why's that?"

Okay, yeah, unattended kids in weird pocket dimensions. But there's more to it, surely?

[herr_bookman]

Autor doesn't mean to overhear Guppy's conversation, but the word "firework" catches the boy's ear. He waits until Guppy sits at the bar, and then approaches. "Brooke got fireworks, too?"

[guppy_sandhu]

"Apparently." Guppy says. "She's not telling where she got them from. Do you know who was handing them out?"

He waves Autor over to offer him a drink.

[herr_bookman]

Autor takes a seat at the bar, who provides him a cup of Earl Grey. "Wilford did. I received a whole box of them, and five thousand dollars in cash."

[guppy_sandhu]

"Wilford was handing out boxes of fireworks and cash to five year old children?" Guppy asks, incredulously.

[herr_bookman]

"To be fair, he was probably blackout drink at the time," Autor says, adjusting his glasses. "And coming from a party."

[guppy_sandhu]

"So he just came in here, drunk, and handed out a bunch of fireworks and cash?" Guppy asks.

[herr_bookman]

"Yes?" Autor says, sipping his tea. "He said it was the after party. I sold my own fireworks."

[guppy_sandhu]

"That's insane. Even for him." Guppy says. "So did all of my kids get these boxes?"

[herr_bookman]

"I would assume so," Autor says, shrugging. "I don't know why he'd single Brooke out."

[guppy_sandhu]

"Hm."

Guppy thinks about this for a moment.

"I'm going to have to ask them some questions. Though if they have managed to get five thousand dollars each, they've managed to keep it very quiet. I don't think I would have had any restraint as a child if anyone has handed me that kind of money."

[herr_bookman]

"I wouldn't have been able to conceive of that much money as a child," Autor says, shaking his head.

[guppy_sandhu]

"Maybe that's why they didn't." Guppy says. "I guess also it would be in dollars so they'd have to find a way to exchange it."

Hm.

"Bar, have you got the kids' money? Are you able to transfer it to me for safekeeping?"

'If I did have their money, it would still be their money.'

"...okay, well if you did have their money, would you be able to advise them to check with me before withdrawing more than fifty?" Guppy tries.

'I might be able to do that.'