Cecil Gershwin Palmer (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
holdingacat) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
milliways_bar2019-06-09 07:13 pm
holdingacat) wrote in milliways_bar2019-06-09 07:13 pm
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The sound system overhead pops and crackles as a new feed is linked up, and for a moment afterwards, all is
silence. The moment after that is full of the calm, measured tones of a rogue radio announcer.
"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; the budgets are too well matched and we have reached the current limits of human innovation - be prepared for ceaseless war. Welcome, to Milliways Pirate Radio."
"As we head into the lazy days of summer, here not nearly as hot and inherently dangerous as in my own small desert community, we have time to sit and ruminate about the cosmos, and our place in it. Or something else's place in it, in fact. I have been making a trophy, you see, a trophy for a scientist, which got me thinking about Science. We've all been scientists at one time or other, right? So I thought, today we could revisit those days, and discuss Science. On my usual show, I do a small segment called the Children's Fun Fact Science corner. Now, while only some of us are children here, that doesn't mean we can't have fun facts as well, right?"
"Let us discuss... the moon! Here then, are three facts about the moon. You may know all of these - congratulations! You must have done very well in school. Some of you may know none of these - congratulations! You have learned something today!"
"The moon is... legally wood. Now, scientifically, of course, the moon is cheese. The moon was deposited in our night sky ages ago from the Milky Way and, as we all know, very very old milk is, in fact, cheese. Scientists are still determining what sort of cheese the moon might be. Personally, I'm hoping for a nice creamy brie. Now, as some of you may know, in 1847 the Wisconnic... Wisconial... Whickaton..."
There's a pause, and the rustle of paper. There is then a sigh of defeat when the speaker realizes that no, turning the paper upside-down did not make that word any more pronounceable. Ugh.
"Anyway, the dairymen from... that place sued, stating that having a giant wheel of cheese just sitting there, clearly accessible to anyone really determined enough was driving down their cheese prices. So the moon was re-classified as a very milky sort of wood, since everyone wanted to state that they had a local forest for tourism reasons."
"The moon is... something numerous historians have disagreed over. This is why science is a much better religion than history, since all of the scientists agree on the origin and location of the moon. Even if they're still fighting about the type of cheese."
"The moon is... acceptable clothing. No matter what situation you're in, going dressed as the moon is sure to elicit a positive response. First date? Go as the moon, to show that you consider that special someone to also be a heavenly body, and to show off yours! Important meeting? Go as the moon, to lend weight to your arguments and illuminate your already sparkling personality. Parole hearing? Go as the moon, and slip away into the night as you shift from full to new, and become unseen to the naked eye. There really is no social gathering that this fashionable wear does poorly in. And of course, who knows more about fashion than scientists? They have to get those grants somehow, right?"
"This has been: Persons of All Ages Fun Fact Science Corner. Now that your appetite for moon facts has been whetted, see what other cool and impressive moon facts your friends know. See what cool and impressive moon facts complete strangers know. See what idiotic and nonsensical moon facts your worst enemies know."
"And as always... goodnight, Millways. Goodnight."
The crackle and pop repeat as the feed is removed, and the day goes on as usual. Or it doesn't, perhaps.
For Cecil, he meanders down to the bar and orders a cup of turmeric tea, carrying it haltingly to the couch. There he settles with his tea, and the large bag he had slung over his shoulder, carefully curling up on the cushy furniture.
(OOC: As before, this broadcast is 100% optional, as the bar is weird and dimensions change and time is weirder so... enjoy! Or avoid, whichever works better for you. :D)
(OOC: This episode of Milliways Pirate Radio brought to you by the writing challenge from 'Start With This', which is an awesome podcast that you should listen to. That one, and also 'Welcome To Night Vale'. Both of those.)
silence. The moment after that is full of the calm, measured tones of a rogue radio announcer.
"No one will ever win the battle of the sexes; the budgets are too well matched and we have reached the current limits of human innovation - be prepared for ceaseless war. Welcome, to Milliways Pirate Radio."
"As we head into the lazy days of summer, here not nearly as hot and inherently dangerous as in my own small desert community, we have time to sit and ruminate about the cosmos, and our place in it. Or something else's place in it, in fact. I have been making a trophy, you see, a trophy for a scientist, which got me thinking about Science. We've all been scientists at one time or other, right? So I thought, today we could revisit those days, and discuss Science. On my usual show, I do a small segment called the Children's Fun Fact Science corner. Now, while only some of us are children here, that doesn't mean we can't have fun facts as well, right?"
"Let us discuss... the moon! Here then, are three facts about the moon. You may know all of these - congratulations! You must have done very well in school. Some of you may know none of these - congratulations! You have learned something today!"
"The moon is... legally wood. Now, scientifically, of course, the moon is cheese. The moon was deposited in our night sky ages ago from the Milky Way and, as we all know, very very old milk is, in fact, cheese. Scientists are still determining what sort of cheese the moon might be. Personally, I'm hoping for a nice creamy brie. Now, as some of you may know, in 1847 the Wisconnic... Wisconial... Whickaton..."
There's a pause, and the rustle of paper. There is then a sigh of defeat when the speaker realizes that no, turning the paper upside-down did not make that word any more pronounceable. Ugh.
"Anyway, the dairymen from... that place sued, stating that having a giant wheel of cheese just sitting there, clearly accessible to anyone really determined enough was driving down their cheese prices. So the moon was re-classified as a very milky sort of wood, since everyone wanted to state that they had a local forest for tourism reasons."
"The moon is... something numerous historians have disagreed over. This is why science is a much better religion than history, since all of the scientists agree on the origin and location of the moon. Even if they're still fighting about the type of cheese."
"The moon is... acceptable clothing. No matter what situation you're in, going dressed as the moon is sure to elicit a positive response. First date? Go as the moon, to show that you consider that special someone to also be a heavenly body, and to show off yours! Important meeting? Go as the moon, to lend weight to your arguments and illuminate your already sparkling personality. Parole hearing? Go as the moon, and slip away into the night as you shift from full to new, and become unseen to the naked eye. There really is no social gathering that this fashionable wear does poorly in. And of course, who knows more about fashion than scientists? They have to get those grants somehow, right?"
"This has been: Persons of All Ages Fun Fact Science Corner. Now that your appetite for moon facts has been whetted, see what other cool and impressive moon facts your friends know. See what cool and impressive moon facts complete strangers know. See what idiotic and nonsensical moon facts your worst enemies know."
"And as always... goodnight, Millways. Goodnight."
The crackle and pop repeat as the feed is removed, and the day goes on as usual. Or it doesn't, perhaps.
For Cecil, he meanders down to the bar and orders a cup of turmeric tea, carrying it haltingly to the couch. There he settles with his tea, and the large bag he had slung over his shoulder, carefully curling up on the cushy furniture.
(OOC: As before, this broadcast is 100% optional, as the bar is weird and dimensions change and time is weirder so... enjoy! Or avoid, whichever works better for you. :D)
(OOC: This episode of Milliways Pirate Radio brought to you by the writing challenge from 'Start With This', which is an awesome podcast that you should listen to. That one, and also 'Welcome To Night Vale'. Both of those.)