milliways_bar | (no subject)

Hank was just ordering a nice cup of coffee when he saw the water and bubbles. Not being one to run from disasters he gets up and rushes into the kitchen, expecting a burst pipe or broken dishwasher.

The sight of a child and some sort of bird halts him in his tracks. "Oh, my stars and garters."

Mess really doesn't describe it.

Disaster does.

It looks like Puffy and Boo have been having a good time. Puffy certainly has been. Seeing Hank causes him to draw up short thus preventing a canister of salt from hitting the floor. He's covered in bubbles, flour and other things. Somehow the bath made it worse.

Amazing.

"Quirrrk?" He's not afraid. There aren't any natural porg predators on Ach-To so he's just curious. Does blue person want to play?

Boo might look even worse than Puffy, although it'd be a tough call to make. She is covered in crumbs from various food stuffs, and there is wet flour caked into her bangs. She is also soaked from head to toe, as she climbed into the sink fully dressed, with her tennis shoes on. Oh, and the bubbles that are just layered on top of everything else. Is that spaghetti behind her ear?

Boo glances up, her face the picture of I GOT CAUGHT!

Then she blinks. This is not Kitty. But he's big and furry like Kitty. MAYBE HE KNOWS KITTY??

Her face transforms from guilt to hopeful.

"Kitty? Mike Wizowski?" She stands up, knocking the Oreos and cherries off the counter in her excitement.

"Mike Wizowski!" He must know where he is! She points and starts babbling rapidly in Toddler.

Hank freezes at the tableau, trying to make sense of both the girl's words and the situation. It doesn't help, the freezing, so his mind goes to what it can process and right now that's turning off the water to stop more mess.

He races forward but is still just confused enough, he doesn't mind his feet as well as he should. One foot goes right out from under him and he falls forward, which he turns into a forward tumble...or at least he gets about halfway there before the slickness of the floor turns it into more of a backspin which sends him straight into a bunch of stainless steel mixing bowls on a lower shelf.

Here's hoping loud sounds don't spook the little girl and porg.

The noise does startle Puffy. He's a burb. They can startle easily. Flapping up into the air he lands on Hank's stomach for a brief moment before pushing off onto the floor. It's long enough of a time for a frightened bird to do what many frightened birds do: go poo.

Landing on the messy floor he fluffs up his feathers and then starts screaming at Hank for scaring him. With lots of flapping of wings. REALLY.

RUDE.

Boo's tummy is starting to hurt. Perhaps all those foods weren't the best idea.
And then there's a VERY loud noise.
And then her new favoritest best friend ever (Puffy) is upset and screaming and flapping.

This is a lot going on all at the same time for a toddler. Boo cowers a little, and then she starts to wail.

Hank's thoughts switch from "That's disgusting" to "Oh dear" so quickly, it actually crystalized his thoughts. He puts a hand down to right himself, sticking it in something that both crunches and squishes--what does that?--but also something that pokes him.

Ignoring the bird, and trying to offer the child a comforting smile while murmuring, "Shhhh...it's okay. I'm not going to hurt you. I'm a friendly beast."

He checks under his hand to see what caused the pain and sees broken glass sticking out of his palm. Alarmed, he looks around more and sees how covered with broken shards of glass and plates the floor is.

There is no way this child should be in this room right now.

The bird...thing either, he allows.

At least the bird can fly? So it seems.

And yes. There is all sorts of glass and other sharp pointy dangerous things... and a sponge... waiting around for people to step on. Boo and Puffy included. All it needs to be a true disaster is a scattering of LEGOS.

He hops around, onto Beast and gets momentarily distracted as he notices all the blue fur.

Fun porg fact: They use a blue moss in their nest.

The blue is exactly the same color as Hank's fur.

Hmmm......

But then he goes back to lecturing Hank on what a terrible person he is. Right up in his face. His breath smells awful.

Boo is absolutely not at all concerned about The Furry Blue Man hurting her. Although he did startle her, and she didn't care for that much. She does not like Puffy being upset. And her tummy hurts. Unfortunately, she doesn't have the words for any of this, so all she knows to do is cry and hope someone fixes it.

Hank's eyes dart from the bird to the child and back again. This situation is completely out of hand, he decides. Fortunately, he has an ace up his sleeve...so to speak.

He focuses on the bird, who he's determined seems to be setting off the child, and mumbles, "Fascinating." That breath is potent, more so since Hank's olfactory upgrade a few months ago. While he studies the bird, he blindly removes the glass from his hand and toes off his shoes. Once that is done, he carefully clears a spot to set his hand and then slowly turns and lifts, into a one hand stand. As he does this, he keeps his injured hand ready to steady the bird if it needs it and begins whistling some Vivaldi.

He always figured traveling with a circus would provide useful skills, he just didn't expect to need them to calm a child and bird.

Annnd that's interesting thing.

The shoes are.

Not Hank.

Though he's rather irritated at Hank for moving around like this.

But shoes.

He lectures Hank a bit more and then grabs a shoelace. Tugging it a few times he tumbles onto his back and ends up with shoe on top. There's some startled squawking as he tries to right himself, feet kicking up in the air. The shoe comes off and he rolls onto his feet.

Bad shoe!

Grabbing it by the shoelace again, he walks over to Hank, dragging it and oblivious to the sharp things on the ground that he might end up stepping on. Especially the glass that's transparent and under the puddle.

Boo's crying lessens as a result of Hank's one hand stand. She tilts her head thoughtfully.

She pays close attention to Puffy and his argument with the shoe, and she starts to giggle. She loves her new friend. He's so silly.

She probably would be laughing outright, except, upset tummy. And that's no fun.

Hank’s lips pull into a smile and he takes a calming breath before reaching to scoop the bird up with the shoe with his free hand and then spring into a flip that lands him on the back of a chair. He offers the child a bow, the arm holding the bird crossing his chest.

The chair barely wobbles and Hank takes pride in that, wishing his acrobatic teachers could have seen it. Of course, Madame Reynard would likely have scolded him for the wobble regardless.

He places the shoe with its occupant on the nearest table and says, in a resonant voice, “Lady and feather-one, welcome to a special performance by the Cerulean Fiend!”

Pushing off the chair with his legs, again barely moving it, he flips again to grasp the pipes on the ceiling with his feet and swings over to delicately grab Boo beneath her arms. “If the Lady will allow me to show her to her seat?” Not bothering to wait for an answer, not thinking through to potential risks of swinging a child about who has been eating all manner of rich foods, he swings her about towards the bird.

Those don't sound like cooking noises. But it doesn't sound like anyone's hurt in there, so Bastion's more curious than worried when they come down the stairs and around the corner. The bubbly water emanating from the kitchen doorway is odd, too.

Following the sounds leads them to a scene of absolute disarray. The floor is covered in broken dishes, scattered food and food packaging, cleaning supplies, and bird droppings; soapy water is overflowing out of the sink; and in the middle of it all, one of those beakless seabirds from Cassian's galaxy and a human toddler are standing on the counter soaking wet and covered in food, knocking things over and squealing in delight. Their big, blue, rectangular eyelight travels over the room as they take in the full scope of the mess.

It would be unkind to leave all this for the waitrats to clean up. They're tiny animals, the mess is huge, and it wasn't long ago that they were on strike for better working conditions. The first step is to stop it from getting worse; to that end, broken plates and fish-shaped crackers crunch under their impervious metal feet as the robot walks across the room to turn off the faucet.

HEY

Puffy puffs up in indignation at the water being turned off. Fortunately he is used to droids... which is what Bastion clearly is in his little birdy brain otherwise he'd be a lot more screamy and frightened.

Hoping up on to Bastion's hand he walks up the arm in that annoying way birds do so that he's not easily dislodged and onto his shoulder... Up there he notices the other bird on the other shoulder and quorks in curiosity.

This is not a bird he's seen before.

Boo frowns. She doesn't know what this very large thing is.

It doesn't seem to be scolding her, though, and she appreciates that.

She inches away from the tall metal man thing, watching it and Puffy interact with interest. Puffy isn't scared of it, and that's points in its favor. But she's still not sure. So she'll just sliiiiiiide over here and watch.

Yes. Watching is good.

Puffy's not that far off; it wouldn't be inaccurate to describe Bastion as a combat droid, although their heavy-duty slugthrower design isn't one that's popular in Puffy's galaxy. There's little practical difference between a droid and an omnic, as general categories, to anyone other than a specialised technician.

Bastion whirs in surprise as Puffy clambers up their arm, although they don't try to dislodge him. It's likely safer up there than on the counter, and definitely preferable to the floor. Ganymede peers around the back of Bastion's head for the express and specific purpose of staring distrustfully at Puffy. On the one hand (figuratively speaking), his previous experiences with porgs have been good! On the other hand, who does this guy think he is?

Since neither the bird nor the small human are trying to stop them, the next thing they do while they're over here is pull the plug so the remaining water will drain out of the sink.

Is there really much difference beyond world's terminology? It's hard to say. Puffy certainly couldn't.

Not that he cares much. Bastion makes a nice perch.

Though there's this other bird. "Wwwrrrruk?" he asked trying a for a friendly greeting. To Boo he chirrups a sort of 'Look! New friend!!!"

Dubious Boo is dubious.

She still appreciates that she's not being scolded. But she's still not sure about this dangerous looking metal cleaning thing.

She head tilts at the bird, and decides that this bird is not nearly as good as her new friend the very soft bird.

Ganymede is a strong independent bird who does not need Boo's approval. That's just, like, her opinion, man. He chirps a short tune back at Puffy, giving the other bird his probationary approval since Bastion doesn't seem to mind.

Bastion themself turns their head as they shift their attention to the stuff on the floor and makes a wheeoo noise like a musical synthesizer sighing in dismay. This looks like it's going to take a while. They're glad the little human is keeping her distance and not trying to climb down to the dangerous floor, because this is the first time they've been in the same room as a human under the age of five, and all they can pull out of their memory banks on the subject beyond a vague inkling about humans being a heavily altricial species is a caution from a squadmate in their very early life about how if a human is too young to operate weapons they will instead cause all human adults within their line of sight or hearing to abandon all concern for their own lives and attack you with any available implement if you come anywhere near them and are therefore best avoided.

No. No. Boo is right. Puffy is the superior bird. He ~~knows Luke Skywalker~~ is Hondo Ohnaka's lucky porg.

Happily perched up on Bastion's shoulder he gives the universal "Bird Looking Around While Sitting On A New High Place" gesture of stretching out his neck and trilling. Look at me! I'm tall!

Boo! Boo! Look at him! He's Tall!

Well.. Puffy is not being hurt, so maybe it's safe?

She stops cowering and inches closer toward Bastion and the ~~inferior~~ new bird.

Still being on the counter, she can see her favorite soft bird friend, and the newcomer quite well.

"Um..

Hi?"

It's not entirely clear who she is addressing. If Boo knew the word 'robot', that would be what she assumes Bastion is. Unfortunately, Boo doesn't know the word 'sentient' either, or else that's what she'd be wanting to know. As it is, she is wondering if the the tall, scary thing is a person or a thing.
But the bird, at least, is definitely a bird, and the bird isn't hurting Puffy, so the bird should definitely be greeted.

Edited 2019-08-13 01:35 (UTC)

Ganymede hops up on top of Bastion's head to establish dominance in the form of superior tallness. So there. He greets Boo with a lofty, noble chirp.

Bastion ignores the bird posturing going on atop their person and waves to Boo, beeping a cheerful four-note greeting.

Well, RUDE.

Puffy would have tried to join Ganymede on top of Bastion's head but he starts to feel a bit horrible.

That sound that cats make when they're about about to hurk up a hairball?

Puffy makes the same noise and then all the shit he's been snacking on comes right out and onto the poor Bastion.

It's a rather gross mess.

Oh! The tall, scary thing is a person!

She is about to try to say something more to them, when Puffy starts making a distressing noise. This, understandably, makes Boo distressed. And then Puffy is sick and distressed Boo becomes more distressed. With the speed of a toddler ninja, she has scrambled down from the counter and is trying to get up on Bastion to get to Puffy.

"BURRR! BURRR OKAY??"

Bastion makes an unhappy buzzing/whirring noise at the sudden mess. Their internals are sealed, but this slurry of mostly liquefied food and porg stomach fluids can't be good for their paint job.

They recoil back from the counter as Boo hops down and starts trying to scale them, making another mechanical noise of startled dismay and bringing their manipulator arm partway up as if trying to shield themself from either the mess or the child. They have enough protruding pieces on their legs, torso, and arms that it's honestly pretty easy for a human her size to find handholds, though there is the complicating factor that their joints have a lot of moving parts for small unwise fingers to get pinched in. She's also gone for their right side, the one that doesn't have a hand to grab her with, and Bastion isn't willing to smack a toddler with the flat of their gun arm just to detach her. Especially when the floor is covered in hazards.

Edited 2019-08-13 12:48 (UTC)

There's a big poofing up of feathers and then a shaking before settling down. That's much better!

And there's Boo! Hey! Hey! Why are you unhappy, Boo? "Crrook?" He spreads out his wings a little very concerned.

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it was still on the front page! pretend I'm not mega late

I see nothing...

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