milliways_bar | Yes I Know it’s Been A While

If you’re an entrepreneurial young woman in the delivery service industry, one of the advantages of access to Milliways is having a safe, accessible, clean place to pee. Like, you really can’t take that for granted. Package recipients don’t always let the plebs use the facilities and even with the ones that do, sometimes it’s the kind of place or people where you don’t want to hang around long enough for that, you know?

Anyway, that’s what YT came in for, just so you know. That and refilling her water bottle at the Bar. But after she got done with that stuff she decided to stay and enjoy a Coke at the Bar and post dog-related content on Trollian, which she is currently doing.

rapidRadish (Yours Truly) signed on.

rapidRadish (Yours Truly) signed on.

CURRENT rapidRadish [CRR] RIGHT NOW opened memo on board DOGS I MET TODAY

CURRENT rapidRadish [CRR] sent file "Spaniel.jpg"

CRR: I don’t know about you but I love spaniel ears
CRR: anyway Cocker Spaniels were bred to hunt a specific type of bird, woodcocks
CRR: that’s where “cocker” comes from
CRR: but mostly these days the spaniels don’t hunt
CRR: they just look pretty

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Buster's long legs and tail are everywhere at once as he twists and turns to get skritches everywhere.

"I didn't even know what this one was until the vet told me."

Then again, he didn't exactly make any decision to get Bailey. She was dropped on him while he was drugged to the gills and not thinking straight enough to refuse another dog.

“Oh. So she was a rescue or something?”

Or something.

"No, some dickhead thought it would be funny to drop her on me for a birthday gift."

Or something.

He shrugs and shamelessly shovels more rice into his mouth, watching both dogs as they just dog about.

YT scowls. “Giving someone a pet as a surprise present is a dick move,” she says. “It’s almost as bad as getting accidentally-on-purpose pregnant.”

WELL THEN.

Uh-huh. Yep. Wilford would know nothing about that. Nope. Which is why he agrees by not saying anything at all, and just keeps on eating.

YT doesn't really register Wilford's discomfort because 1) she's busy playing with Buster and B) making people uncomfortable is kind of her normal social mode anyway.

"Hey kid," YT calls to Michael. "Can Bailey do any tricks?"

"Uhm," Michael says.

He looks up at Wilford, and then continues to drive his car over Bailey's side.

"You were asked a question," Wilford says.

Michael just shakes his head, and Wilford rolls his eyes.

“Okay. Do you want to teach Bailey to do a trick?”

“Shake” is always a good standby for larger dogs.

All this attention on him is starting to make Michael clam up again, and he shakes his head once more.

"The lady's talking to you, man. You just going to ignore her?"

Michael nods, and continues to just play with Bailey in his weird way.

Kids. Goddamn it.

Maybe Buster knows tricks.

"Hey Buster. Roll over?"

Buster knows roll over! Or rather, he knows what those words mean, even if he has never been taught a single trick in his life.

Still, he rolls over.

Right off of the sofa.

But not before his legs upend the plate Wilford's holding, sending chicken and rice and broccoli everywhere.

"Son of a bitch!" he says, trying to untangle himself from a dog that's just as surprised at this turn of events as he is. "Do you ever think?" he scolds the dog.

Hey! Free chicken! Buster doesn't care that he's being scolded, because he's too busy inhaling everything within reach.

"Ohshit ohshit ohshit," YT says, because she's learned the hard way what happens when Buster deviates from his rather strict diet.

She tries to pull on his collar to stop him from scarfing down the chicken, but he's freaky fast at eating stuff he shouldn't when he gets the chance.

For what it's worth, Michael thinks this is all hilarious. He's on the floor, cackling like a maniac at the mess and chaos that's befallen.

"Brainless assholes go outside," Wilford says, getting up and taking Buster from YT. He doesn't bother with anything as time consuming as trying to pull him away by the collar, or fetching a leash. Buster gets picked right up off the ground like a squirming sack of potatoes, and carried to the back door. Wilford rather unceremoniously dumps him outside and closes the door.

"Fucking idiot," he grumbles as he returns back to figure out how to start cleaning up this mess. In the end, he decides to use a napkin to get the worst of it off himself, and ignore the rest for now.

"And you," he says, pointing at Michael as he sits back down. "Irritating little boys get to go hang out with the nanny, so keep it up."

If this is meant to silence Michael, it doesn't work. If anything, Wilford's hilarious when he's pissed off.

YT stays (unusually) quiet, but gives Michael an approving grin and a wink while Pinkstache has his back to her.

Wilford may have missed it as he grumbles and complains about rice stuck to his jeans, but Michael doesn't. He takes it as a challenge to be as irritating as possible.

"No, Bill!" he says, as if his word is law.

Wilford doesn't even look up. "Bill don't want you. He's got more important shit to deal with."

"Bill!" Michael shouts.

Wilford does look up this time, and nods. "All right," he says, starting to clean up their crayon mess. "I'll take you to Bill's. And then you can help out with that baby."

Suddenly, Michael looks horrified. "NO!" he screeches.

Yes I Know it’s Been A While

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