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[troublesome_alchemist]

There's a man, sprawled in a manner at odds with his military uniform, at one of the tables. He has a small stack of papers, a plate, and a mostly-full tumbler of some amber alcohol.

He is slowly demolishing the stack of papers, chain-lighting one off the last, holding on to each page until the very last possible second.

Call it playing with fire, call it research, call it a fitting end to a rather stupid series of requisition forms.

One of those is right.

Surely.

Comments

[angry_friendship_wolf]

Yamato's been working in the garage for most of the day, trying to jury-rig the engines of a few different vehicles to provide both the heat and the gravitational distortions he needs for his experiment.

It's a work in progress.

Either way, he's got a few streaks of something like motor oil on his face and t-shirt, and a pair of even more oil-streaked gloves tucked into the pocket of his jeans. Hopefully the oil isn't too flammable, because he's approaching curiously, peering at the burning papers.

"... Not for nothing, but you're probably making an enemy of every secretary in the multiverse right now," he remarks wryly, by way of greeting.

[troublesome_alchemist]

"It only seems fair, they've been making an enemy out of me for years now." Mustang notes wryly. "Have you seen this stack? It's the smallest one from my desk. Absolutely ridiculous."

[angry_friendship_wolf]

"It's a gift. Like when a cat brings you a live mouse," Yamato says reasonably. "And you're just burning all the tokens of their secretary-y affections."

It's cruel, Mustang. It really is.

[troublesome_alchemist]

"They should practically expect it of me. They're probably disappointed I haven't before." He laughs, off-handedly. Roy has been making a name for himself for years now - he practically expects to be recognized at this point. It makes being at the bar decidedly weird. "Besides, I'm more of a dog person."

[angry_friendship_wolf]

"In that case, carry on," Yamato says wryly. "But when a mob of enraged admin staff come knocking at your door with the pitchforks and torches, you'll only have yourself to blame."

Beat.

"Or worse, maybe they'll come knocking with copies of all the burned paperwork. That'd be terrible."

[troublesome_alchemist]

"No, what will happen is my Lieutenant will present this stack, replicated in its entirety, to me first thing in the morning. I still haven't figured out how she knows which ones I've destroyed, but she always does." Mustang sighs, letting the flames lick a new page as the last threatens his fingertips. "I'm Colonel Mustang, by the way. Call me Roy."

[angry_friendship_wolf]

"Seems like a waste of perfectly good fire to burn it all, then."

Although it's satisfying, he supposes.

"Yamato Ishida. Just Yamato is fine."

[troublesome_alchemist]

"That is the one thing I have a nearly endless supply of, no worries." Roy laughs. "Though if you have any better suggestions, I'm all ears."

[angry_friendship_wolf]

"I'm told that eating paperwork is a great way of getting rid of it. Very popular. Efficient, too, because it's dealing with paperwork and getting a nutritious meal all in one go."

[troublesome_alchemist]

Mustang blinks slowly.

"I think I now understand what Fullmetal does with his paperwork. And why he's so short."

Turns out all of life's great mysteries can be solved in this bar.

[angry_friendship_wolf]

Yamato flashes a grin which is most likely meant to be friendly, but does rather make him look like someone who's only read about smiling in books and isn't sure how to do it, or like a wolf peeling back its lips to show teeth.

"This Fullmetal sounds like a smart guy," he says, giving Roy a thumbs up. "He's got the right idea."

[troublesome_alchemist]

"Well, he certainly thinks he knows things about the world." Roy agrees wryly, letting the ashes of the burnt page fall to the plate, the smoldering flames abruptly going out on that piece. "I'll let Hughes sort him out."

[angry_friendship_wolf]

"Another colleague of yours?" Yamato asks, cocking his head.

Well, whoever this Hughes is, Yamato's sure that he too can learn the exquisite joys of physically consuming paperwork.

[troublesome_alchemist]

"A friend - he seems to have taken Fullmetal under his wing. More luck to him." He laughs as if he wasn't putting a fair amount of resources into helping the kid. How could you not, knowing what he and his brother had been through?

[angry_friendship_wolf]

"Pretty good of him. Or I assume it is, at least," Yamato says, after a moment's thought.