milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Klaus is, unsurprisingly, high. This is not really news, the man spends as much of his life on some medication or other that he can, and has no plans on changing that.

Klaus also has the munchies. Also, not terribly unusual.

Klaus has, for some reason unknown to the modern world, decided the best remedy for this is waffles. If you've spent any time with this man, this is also not terribly surprising.

He has decided...

To make them for himself.

This... this could be a problem.

He has also decided that no one should be forced to make waffles without some tunes, so he's hauled a boom box into the kitchen, and is now bopping around the kitchen collecting waffle ingredients (or what he thinks should be waffle ingredients) to the awesome tunes of the 80's, preparing to make a godawful mess.

And hopefully waffles.

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The Devil technically knows his way around a kitchen.
But mostly, he just takes other people's food and locates bottle openers.

Since there is no food to snag as of yet, he pauses inside the door, leaning on the doorframe, all pleasant interest.

"You cook?"

That's - surprising.

"Iiiiii do many things." Klaus refutes, and if he is dodging the question, he clearly doesn't mean to. Really. Or something like that. I mean, it isn't as if he's going to stop in his quest for waffles, so does it matter? Much?

Some?

Hmm.

Do eggs go in waffles? ... Surely they do. Klaus decides to add eggs to the growing collection of ingredients on the counter.

Lucifer ambles over, all sharp stubbles and expensive cologne.

"Don't forget butter."

He doesn't know the first thing about making waffles but butter belongs in everything, right?

"... If it goes in the waffles, why does it go on the waffles?" Klaus asks, confused, but adds a few sticks of butter to the growing pile anyway. More butter is better, right?

Totally.

"Because the butter in the waffles won't get all melty?" Lucifer suggests.

"And what would you be licking off your fingers then?"

Klaus pauses to peer at Lucifer from around the refrigerator door, maybe checking for head injury.

"I mean, it's me. I'm sure I could find something." He snorts, and returns to his hunt to bring out milk and syrup as well.

"Probably yes," Lucifer concedes. " But it wouldn't be delicious butter."

See?
He makes perfect sense.

"................. no." Klaus agrees, after another, perhaps slightly more worried pause and stare. "That would be a really weird medical condition."

"But handy if you needed butter," Lucifer counters.

Normalcy is a somewhat vague concept when you've spent a lot of time in Hell.

"Is there any cream?"

"I mean... there's like, multiple kinds of cream. Oooh, ice cream, that goes on waffles." The fridge is abandoned for the freezer as he switches gears.

"Whipped cream. It is perfect on waffles. Whipped cream and berries."

Healthy choices!
Kinda.

"Focus here, focus, gotta make the waffles." Klaus corrects, if only because he's been telling himself this for the last... however long he's been in here.

"Right," Lucifer replies brightly and hope up on the counter.

"You'll cook, I'll make encouraging noises."

Yamato enjoys cooking. It's relaxing. It does not require the addition of 80s bops to be relaxing.

Seeing Klaus in the kitchen when he arrives is maybe a little alarming.

"I didn't know you could cook."

He says it in a tone that indicates that he still, in fact, does not know if Klaus can cook.

80's bops make everything better, Yamato, just admit it. Especially since it means Klaus is currently entertained by dancing with the milk carton. He does pause (sort of, swaying in place with the carton in his arms) to grin at Yamato.

"I am a man of many talents." He declares, airily, not answering the question.

"Somehow that's more concerning than if you had just said no."

After all, being able to efficiently destroy an entire kitchen is a talent.

"... Who's leading, you or the carton?"

Important questions needing to be asked, and all.

"Obviously the carton, can you see me leading in this skirt?" Klaus protests, and... yes, he's wearing a long skirt.

No shoes, and a crop top, but definitely a skirt. He makes it look awesome.

"It'd be difficult, but there's definitely dancers out there who can lead in a skirt like that," Yamato says reasonably. "It's just all about being aware of where the edges of it are."

"Don't listen to him, darling, you're doing beautifully." Klaus tells the poor abused milk carton.

"I've seen better dancing milk cartons," Yamato says, ever the critic. "It doesn't seem like it's much putting in the effort, to me."

He nods over at the kitchen worktop, cocking his head. "What're you making, anyway?"

"Waffles. You can have some, if you stop insulting my dance partner." Klaus bargains, because waffles are the ultimate bargaining chip.

I mean.

They're waffles.

Get on his level.

"Do I ... want to have some?" Yamato asks dubiously. "Have you ever actually made waffles before?"

"Have I ever made..." Klaus huffs, rolling his eyes at Yamato. "You're asking me, an entire grown ass adult, if I've ever made waffles?"

"That's what I asked," Yamato says. "You still haven't answered."

Suspiciously.

"....... If you put it that way... no." Klaus shrugs, unbothered by this gap in his resume, and continues his waltz around the island.

"I am immediately terrified," Yamato says cheerfully. "Just -- I mean, you've made pancakes before, right? They're pretty similar. You'll be fine."

Klaus side-eyes Yamato, which is, you know, a feat considering he's still waltzing.

"Pancakes. Yup. Sure." Klaus agrees, with no conviction whatsoever.

Look, his robot mom made everything perfect, and it's not like his post-academy life regularly comes with a kitchen. How hard can it be?

Yamato just stares.

"... Okay. Okay, this is -- this is cool, it'll be a learning experience."

They are all going to die.

"You just beat all the ingredients together until you have a thick-ish liquid, it's really simple."

Klaus giggles, entirely unrepentant.

"Oh good, I'm told I'm very good at beating things." Somehow, these instructions seem very familiar!

The double entendre flies entirely over Yamato's head.

"As in, beating people?" He asks, because he does kinda get the impression Klaus has some training in how to fight, so surely, surely, that's what he means, right?

Klaus squints at Yamato, but... nah. He has very few rules he holds to anymore, but not actually being creepy at kids is one of them. For that you want his dad.

Cue uproarious laughter here, right?

"Yeeeeeah. Beating... people." Klaus agrees, slowly, because technically Yamato isn't wrong!

Just...

Slightly off the mark.

"Wouldn't have taken you for the type, usually," Yamato says thoughtfully. "But yeah, yeah, making pancakes or waffles is just like that. You just stop when you've got the consistency you want instead of when the other person is dead."

Sameth has lost track of time again with his work and when he finds Milliways again, he doesn't know what he wants but hears someone in the kitchen.

The music is loud and he enters cautiously, stepping over what he thinks is maybe sugar on the floor, "Did something explode?"

Klaus, mid-boogie with a bag of flour, pauses to blink back at Sameth with something approaching innocence. Sorta.

"I mean, not yet."

Things explode in Sameth's workshop, not often but sometimes, "Oh, what are you making?"

"Waffles!" Klaus cheers, because everyone loves waffles, right?

Everyone should love waffles. The world would be much better if everyone loved waffles.

"Waffles, don't they need an iron or press?"

Sameth knows he's seen those used in Ancelstierre and starts looking for one in the kitchen, carefully stepping around any mess, it might be there for a reason.

"I mean... probably? Yeah, that'd... that'd help." Klaus agrees, spinning in place slowly as if one might magically appear now that he knows to look for it.

The spinning seems excessive and Sameth finds a corner of the kitchen with various presses that he starts opening. He's impressed with all the variations,

"They're over here. Interesting, some of them are cast iron but not all of them."

After the incident regarding Klaus' room at the bar and its decor, Sinthia has been relatively scarce. Not that she was ever a huge presence in the ba to begin with...but lately it's been even less so.

So when she comes into the kitchen and sees Klaus already in it, she attempts to be friendly. "What are you trying to make?"

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