Very uneasy 3-pup post -- Sunday morning

[undead_radish_seller]

So here is what happened:

Wen Ning had been in the kitchen making noodles (as you do) on that cool machine they have here where you feed it the noodle dough, crank a handle, and it flattens and cuts the dough so nice mie strings come out, all ready to be dumped into the boiling water, or dried to use later. And while he had been turning the handle, happily thinking of all the nice dishes he'd make for his little village of twenty people all told,

in waltzed Jin Guangyao, took off his silly black hat, his gold-embroidered silk outer robe with the huge tacky peony emblem, tied back his sleeves, put on an apron that had a pattern of tiny peonies, clouds and bulls (really? really???) printed all over, and went about mixing some sauces. Only when he went to look for fresh ginger did he notice Wen Ning, who had kept absolutely still, not even having any breath to hold. The Jin bastard, however, just sighed, shook his head, and said, "Look, you can make your noodles over there, I can mix my sauces here, and we can ignore each other perfectly fine, as this is Milliways anyway, and a huge kitchen at that. Please, unfreeze."

This would have worked, except that about fifteen minutes later, Dr. Hannibal Lecter came in, and of course he knew both of them! He casually complemented Wen Ning on how good he looked in those new black robes, offered him an apron because you can never rely on your neatness to keep you clean while cooking, as that consideration seriously cramps your style, and then he turned right to bloody Lianfang-zun and told him that, honestly, he looked so much better without the hat, if he'd excuse such a rude remark, and that those sauces would actually go very well with the noodles, even though he personally would try soba with them, and then he had to explain to both of them what soba were,

and, in the end, that led to Dr. Lecter cooking dishes from the land of Wa (which, apparently, his paternal uncle's cultivation partner (or something??) had been from, so he knew all about it) with an uneasy young cultivator and a severely spooked fierce corpse assisting him and listening to him ramble on while he cooked and ordered them around ("In a historical Chinese setting, you can of course replace them with -- what, you have potatoes? Okay then? Just peel them, there's a good little zombie!"), all oblivious about the undercurrent of deep wariness between his two young helpers.

And this is what you are going to walk in on when you want something in the kitchen.


tinytag: jin guangyao
tinytag: wen ning

[[OOC: Say in your tag which of the three you want, or you might get all three...]]

Comments

[hat_and_dimples]

"Glad as I am about the position I have gained," Jin Guangyao says, a bit stiffly, "there is a limit to how close I want to be to my father. I wouldn't want to come close to him in, say, the body of the Lady Sunshine."

Wen Ning shudders and throws the jalapeno back at the Jin bastard.

"That is a bit unpleasant," Hannibal says calmly, "but remember, Wen Ning, you started the subject. The idea of a familiar person engaging in transgressive behaviour while they are unable to recognise you is, fascinatingly, one of the oldest worries in the book of the human soul."

[mogget_cat]

"It does show up rather often in storytelling traditions, doesn't it?" Yrael mwrrs, considering. "Daughters deceiving their father while he is drunk; a brother unknowingly attracted to his long-lost twin sister; a son prophesied to kill his father and marry his mother, sent away to be raised elsewhere so that - irony of ironies - he doesn't recognize his parents at the crucial moment."

The wayward young Princeling's developing crush on his mother's half-sister was quickly quashed, thankfully.

[cook_the_rude]

"It is a spectre that creeps through human narrative tradition, and through our nightmares," Dr. Lecter muses, stirring the pan. "Even in my own tale -- we had to free Margot Verger from her intrusive brother Mason. She ended up marrying Alana, if you remember her?"

For 'free', read 'kill him with extreme prejudice'.

"That sounds very off-putting," Jin Guangyao says, offering Dr. Lecter the chilies he has cut up very finely; and Wen Ning nods in agreement, shuddering again. Compared to such tales, his own story is mostly blue skies and little bunny rabbits.

[mogget_cat]

"I do recall Alana," Yrael confirms, purring. She had given good scritches. "I had wondered how she had fared, after she shot you."

[cook_the_rude]

Hannibal chuckles.

"Differently, in each of our worlds," he says. "Our story had split into so many fragments. My Will, who fell in from the cliff with me, was not the same Will who was here before, either."

"So if I do a thing to change what happens with us," Jin Guangyao muses, "it might not even affect the next cultivator who comes here?"

[mogget_cat]

"That is right," answers the cat. "Or you may return home to find the people of your world you encountered here were not from your particular version of that world. You may have spoken with a different them - or shared a kitchen with a different timeline's Wen Ning."

[hat_and_dimples]

"Thank you," Jin Guangyao says. "I shall assume nothing when I next see Hanguang-jun, then. He and I had an interesting conversation here which I mean to continue when they come to Golden Koi Tower for my nephew's hundred day celebrations."

[mogget_cat]

"A another new uncle," murmurs the not'cat with mild interest, tailtip curling and uncurling. "Congratulations to you."

"Though, if I may ask, who is Hanguang-jun?"

[hat_and_dimples]

"If the new uncle was the Yiling Laozu -- Wei Wuxian -- then we're talking about the same nephew: Jin Ling," Jin Guangyao says. "And Hanguang-jun's personal name is Lan Than, courtesy name Lan Wangji, but I don't really know him well enough to call him either."

Pause.

"Yet. Depending on whether our realities are the same."

[mogget_cat]

"I have not spoken with Wei Wuxian, having only seen his celebratory Happy Hour in passing while I was on other business. I do hope to have the opportunity soon, however," admits the not'cat, mwrring. "I did meet Lan Wangji, briefly, though I received the distinct impression he did not approve of me."

Not that Yrael blames him.

[hat_and_dimples]

"He disapproves of many things," Jin Guangyao says. "He keeps rabbits at Cloud Recesses, his brother tells me. Perhaps he specifically disapproves of creatures that might harm them."

[mogget_cat]

"I suspect it wasn't that," grins the thing that is not a cat. "My friend Ferdinand found his ear-rubs to be more than satisfactory."

[hat_and_dimples]

Jin Guangyao seems to find the idea of the splendid Hanguang-jun giving ear-rubs to a cat hilarious, but doesn't comment on it.

"He's just a person, you know," Wen Ning says. "So are you, actually, and even I."

[mogget_cat]

"It may be that I came across to him as an over-curious unknown entity," Yrael allows, magnanimously. "Having met Wen Ning and been introduced to your world's style of magic, I wished to find out how cultivators differed - or were similar - to mages of the Old Kingdom."

[undead_radish_seller]

"And you were so cattishly curious that Hanguang-jun thought he smelled a rat?" Wen Ning giggles. "Or maybe he just ran out of words; he does that. That's just normal for him."

Wen Ning's a fierce corpse now, and even before, he was always the odd one out. Different normals for different people is a familiar concept for him.

[mogget_cat]

"Possibly he thought I'd use the information for some nefarious purpose," the cat snorts faintly through its whiskers, luxuriating in a long, languorous stretch.

It wasn't rabbits he was worried about Yrael harming.

"In any case, smelling a rat around Milliways isn't unheard-of, however clean our dear, devoted waitstaff keep themselves."

It is probably good the translation magic in Milliways only extends so far, as the replying squeaks from one of the kitchen staff on the far side of the kitchens, a larger male rat, sound far from complimentary.

[cook_the_rude]

"Yes, comparative magic," Dr. Lecter states, stirring his wok again. "A-Ning, your noodles, please!"

Wen Ning hands them over, Hannibal pours them into the wok and starts shaking it vigorously with the gas on high. It looks sufficiently dramatic and fiery.

"Comparative magic is a pastime here, almost as old as the place itself. Show me yours, and I show you mine. That's why they founded the library."

[mogget_cat]

"How better to learn new ways of doing things, even those previously considered impossible? What is unknown territory in one world may be well-charted, in another," mwrrs the cat, breathing in the smells of cooking with every sign of enjoyment. "Though I prefer discussion and practical examples, the library remains the best place to lose oneself in new knowledge; there is only ever something to gain from it."

[undead_radish_seller]

"Hanguang-jun has been there a few times, as far as I can tell," Wen Ning says. "Once he realises that cultivators from another world -- mages, that is -- are willing to talk and share, and will not abuse his knowledge, you can ask him about organising guest lectures. They run those in Gusu; I've been myself, for the last series before the war broke out. Everybody goes once in their youth, if they amount to anything."

[hat_and_dimples]

"I, of course, once more amount to nothing," Jin Guangyao says, his usual smile a tad bitter. "Zewu-jun asked me to stay, but I was very busy in Qinghe, with Nie sect business, working for Chifeng-zun as the war was brewing."

At least he hadn't been marched in by soldiers and forced upon the Lan clan, actually gate-crashing the lectures, as Wen Ning had. Lan Xichen had wanted him there, but Meng Yao, as he was then, had to decline with sincere, personal regret.

"Of course, those are my sworn brothers now, but I don't want to make you uncomfortable by referring to them too familiarly in front of you. After all, even your close friend Wei Wuxian's dear -- soulmate is still Hanguang-jun to you."

Another pause, while he is smoothly cutting spring onions into very thin slices.

"If they decide to do guest lectures in comparative magic here, I might attend this time. It's always good to learn something new, even if you never practise it, if it is too dangerous or otherworldly."

[cook_the_rude]

Hannibal Lecter vigorously shakes the wok as he listens to both of them.

"Organising way to learn more about magic, science, history or art from other worlds would be a very good idea for this place," he observes, smiling to himself as the food smoothly mixes itself under his deft touch. "I am sure that whatever Yrael here has to tell, it will be very enlightening to anyone from your world. Necromancy is completely normal, after all."

He holds out his free hand.

"The fish please, A-Yao."

Jin Guangyao hands him the mise-en-place bowl with the finely sliced fish.

[mogget_cat]

"I admit I was surprised to hear it spoken of like a new trail blazed through the unknown, considering its long-known practice in the Old Kingdom," admits the thing shaped like a cat, resting its chin lightly on its forepaws as it watches the domestic alchemy being practiced at the stove. "The commonality of music and sigils to direct one's intent and enact one's will deserves investigation and discussion, I feel."

[undead_radish_seller]

"In your world, Wei-gongzi's inventions are commonplace and usual?" Wen Ning says. "No reason for, say, at least one entire venerable cultivation sect to have soup-spitting conniption fits about it?"

Take that, Jin bastard.

Wordlessly, he hands Dr. Lecter the sesame oil, of which he sprinkles something into the still moving wok.

[mogget_cat]

"I cannot speak to his inventions specifically, but from our earlier discussion, Wen Ning, I would lay odds that they would have counterparts in the Old Kingdom," Yrael replies. "Quite similar, if not exact."

He smiles. "And no reason to waste good soup."

[hat_and_dimples]

"Using resentful energy, anybody can do a measure magic," Jin Guangyao says, a bit prissily. "It opens the door to all sorts of charlatans and half-baked talisman workers who don't properly know what they are doing. Also, the resentful energy is bad for your meridians and most likely wreaks havoc with your Golden Core, if you have cultivated one. Chances are you can't do both at once -- proper and demonic cultivation, that is, without burning yourself out. Which posits that the Yiling Pariarch, your revered Wei-gongzi, must be slowly going mad from the maelstrom inside his meridians. At least that is what our doctors think. The only people for whom it's harmless might be fierce corpses."

Hannibal sighs gentle. "No monologuing in the kitchen, please. A-Yao, please pass me the spring onions."

Jin Guangyao sighs as well, and does so.