milliways_bar | (no subject)

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peter parker (spider-man)

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Peter comes through the front door, without heavy-ass books this time. What, you didn't see him leave? He had that Spanish quiz to take, you know.

He is slightly annoyed - he had Spider-Man things to do and now he is here instead of out Spider-Man-ing. Fine. Whatever. He's here. Maybe he'll get a burger or pizza or something.

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"They're corrupt and not very good at what they do. And I don't get paid. It's a total win for them," Lucifer insists.

"Though I might have to see about getting a key card to the evidence room. You wouldn't believe the amount of drugs, they have in there."

Brightly.

"You're a strange man, you know that?" said over his burger that he's still working through.

That earns him a confused head tilt.

"Strange? Because I prefer decent cocaine?"

"Um... well... no. I mean, that wasn't exactly what I meant. Because I d-didn't know that was a thing you were doing. But - why do you work for free?" The drug thing he'll have to come back to.

"Because it's fun? I mean, I don't need money and I was looking for a hobby anyway."

"Oh. Sure. That makes sense, I guess." Look, he doesn't necessarily care about money, not beyond 'do we have enough to eat and pay rent', it's just not common to stumble across people who do things for no profit or payment. You know, people who aren't him. Because nobody pays Spider-Man to do his thing.

"To b fair, the first time it was kind of personal. This young, talented singer got shot while we were talking. And I wasn't about to let the local police force bumble their way through a textbook example of ruining the case."

He smiles.

"And it turned out that I was actually quite good at it."

"S-someone just shot her while you were talking?"

"Yes. The murderer crashed the car and died. Seeing as how I am on earth now, he just got away with it. No consequences, no punishment. I got the one who planned it though."

He is still smiling.
It's not a very nice smile.

Edited 2021-05-14 07:53 (UTC)

"Pretty sure dying is a consequence of crashing a car if it happens." And he's not trying to be contrary. "Or do you mean, like, as part of your... old job... there would've been something else?" Hey, religion isn't his thing; he's a scientist.

"Eternal damnation and punishment. That's what would have been."

He pushes his lips together.

"I have no intention of going back, but I have to admit - it bothers me that he can just waltz off like that. Or, you know, die."

Edited 2021-05-14 08:29 (UTC)

"Okay - you lost me. So, he died in a car accident, so you get nothing? How does that work? I thought post-death, according to some belief systems, the soul gets sort of judged and sent one way or the other. Is that not how it works?" See above, re: scientist.

Lucifer makes a seesawing motion with one hand.

"But I quit my job in Hell, so -"

And he is actually not sure how things are going back there. He is very pointedly not thinking about that at all, actually.

"That doesn't really help. I'm still not getting how 'guy died' isn't the right kind of, let's go with 'justice', from your perspective." He is very confused right now.

"Hell?" Lucifer says, a little impatiently. "Eternal damnation? Punishment? Torture?"

"Okay, right. But you're saying that he isn't going there because he died in a car accident. Did the smashed car and busted skull redeem the guy?"

"He's not getting punished because I an not there," Lucifer says.

Should this have occurred to him when he decided to quit? Some would say yes.

"Just being in hell isn't punishment enough?" He doesn't know - he's never been there.

"Well - it can be. I'd just like to make sure that he really felt it."

"Ah... I see." Yeah, okay, he kinda understands that a bit more.

"So now I'll just have to make sure I catch whomever ordered the hit job. That'll be something at least."

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