Cycle 011

[phantasmal_resplendent]

Lup’s feeling restless. Maybe it’s because the crew’s still on watch for the Light to fall, so they haven’t landed yet. Either way, she can’t sleep.

She wanders into the kitchen, planning on raiding the fridge, when she notices a figure on the deck. 

She pokes her head out, getting a closer look at the man, staring into the endless stream of stars and planets that make up this plane’s universe.

“Barry?” 

He turns with a start at the sound of Lup’s voice.

“Oh, hey Lup.” He gives a small smile. “I just…needed to be alone for a little while.”

Lup can hear it in Barry’s voice - that is complete bullshit.

She steps onto the deck and sits next to him.

“You doing okay?”

Then she remembers - this cycle was the first one where Barry died. Of course he wouldn’t be okay.

And then, confirming her thoughts, Barry finally speaks.

“I still can’t get over it,” he whispers. “I was in so much pain, and then everything just…stopped.” He shakes his head.

“I was just - gone.”

Lup purses her lips. When she died, she just ended up chilling in Milliways for a week or two - but of course, she can’t tell him that. And of course it’s not the same for him.

“At least most of us know what you’re going through.” Lucretia’s the only one of them now who hasn’t died yet, Lup realizes. Admittedly, it might be better if Magnus was having this conversation instead of her - he’s the only one of them who’s died more than once so far.

“I guess so.” Barry shrugs. “Everyone else handled dying just fine. Even Magnus, and he’s human, too.” 

Barry looks up at her. “Is there something wrong with me?”

“No we didn’t.” Lup shakes her head. “No we fucking didn’t.”

Barry blinks. 

“Wait, really?”

“I had my share of silent freak outs in private when I died. And Taako wouldn’t sleep on his own for like, a week. Magnus probably did, too. You know him, he doesn’t like to worry people.”

“Yeah.” Barry lets out a soft chuckle. “I guess that does make me feel a little better, knowing that.”

He stares up at the sky, pensively.

“Are we just going to keep on like this forever? Traveling, never stopping, dying and coming back over and over like it’s no big deal?”

Lup doesn’t have an answer for that. She’s honestly tried to avoid thinking about that herself.

So, instead, she pulls out her wand. She could go back inside and get one, but it’s always more fun this way.

A fleece blanket falls over Barry, and he shuffles around a bit before poking his head back out.

“Here. Scooch.” Before Barry can protest, Lup snuggles under the blanket with him. She can feel his knee against her hip. She tries to ignore it.

“It’s gonna be okay,” she murmurs.  “However long we keep doing this, we’re in it together, okay?”

“Yeah. Okay.”  

They sit there silently, in the glow of the nebulae. After a few minutes, Lup feels Barry relax against her.

“Hey, Lup?” 

“Mm?” She glances over at Barry.

“I changed my mind.” He meets her eyes. He’s smiling again - bigger this time. “I think I wouldn’t mind a bit of company for a while.”

Lup smiles back.

“Sure, bud.”