milliways_bar | (no subject)

I think this is the lesson I was supposed to learn. I think I was supposed to know where my memories of Susanne came from, and why. I think that was what was keeping me here. And I think I hope this is not just wishful thinking.

All the times he's opened that door, he's seen nothing but a void, a swirling mass of darkness and destruction and he's not been anywhere near desperate enough to try to walk out into that. It would be a leap of faith far beyond his bounds, far beyond anything he could think of doing or actually bringing himself to do.

But this night... it feels... different, somehow.

And so he decides to try the door, see if the Bar will let him leave now that he's relived his nightmare with Tom's assistance. Bill takes a deep breath.

Ready, Bill? Ready.

The doorknob feels somehow cold, and he's not sure if it's reality or his own expectations making it that way.

Confidence, Bill. Why wouldn't it let you leave now?

That's more like it. He shakes back his long hair, touches the dragon fang earring for luck, and opens the door... and it's different.

No swirling void.

Bill looks through, then steps back into the bar, his face pale. This was not what he expected. Come to think on it, he's not sure where he expected to see: Cairo? The Burrow? Gringotts? London? But certainly not this.

Not the dungeon room from which he escaped.

He closes the door quickly. He is not going back to captivity. He'd rather be stuck here for all time.

Walking quickly to the bar, he orders a cup of tea. 3 sugars, fresh cream.

That, Bill, is the universe's way of saying Fuck You! loud and clear. He grins, and the grin widens into a smile, and he laughs. He doesn't care who hears.

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Bill runs a hand through his hair. "You know what, Ron? I've no idea where it is. It could be absolutely anywhere. Don't fuss over it: it's not worth your time. You've got your own arse to get back out of here. I can take care of myself."

Oddly, he feels perfectly fine about it. Perfectly so.

"This whole thing amuses me no end."

The fish and chips are excellent.

"How can you be so--so cool about this?" Ron asked him, looking horrified. "We've got to figure out how to get you home. And I don't care about my own arse--you're family. I can't just sit here and let you be stuck here for the rest of your life with your only other choice being...that."

He pushed his hand through his hair.

This'll KILL mum. This'll just give her a heart attack and she'll die, he's either going to be stuck here forever or oh Merlin, I'm going to lose my brother, I'm going to lose him...

Bill shrugs; the fish is cooked to perfection. "Ron. What other choice do I have? I'd rather be here than there, and I'd rather be alive than dead, and I'd rather be able to think for myself than be subjected to what I was in there. I also have a feeling that this is a temporary condition. We're here learning lessons, aren't we? That's what everybody says? Well, apparently I still have something to learn and I will get out and I will get home. Just not tonight. That's all."

He pushes the plate towards his brother. "Here, have some food. I can't possibly eat all this."

He could, but he doesn't need to.

"I'm not hungry," Ron said absently, pacing, still with the brows furrowed and that worried expression on his face.

If only Charlie were here! Bill's always been closest to Charlie. I know he's got to be upset--how can you find out that you're other stuck somewhere for your whole life or you have to get tortured and die and not be upset? Bloody hell, how long was he there even? How long did they have him?

I bet it was Lestrange. Or MacNair.

I'm going to bloody kill them if I ever get the chance.

He thought of the haunted, empty look on his best friend's face after the Department of Mysteries, after they had lost Sirius.

When are they going to stop hurting people I care about?

"Ron." Bill taps his brother on the shoulder. "What will Mum say if she finds out I've let you go hungry."

He feels like he's not eaten in a month. "Really, Ron. What choices do I have at the moment? I'm in a bar, there's plenty to eat and drink and look around: there are girls. I'll be fine."

Ron finally stopped pacing.

"You sure?"

There had to be some way to get out and not have it be with them, right? And Bill would find it eventually--he was Bill.

"I'm sure." He sets down the piece of fish in his hand. "In a way, I'm relieved. At least now I know exactly what happened on the other side of that door. And knowledge truly is power. I can work with what I know; solving puzzles is rather a passion of mine."

Bill raises an eyebrow at his brother. "If you follow my meaning. It's what I do: it's why the goblins hired me in the first place. If there's a way to solve this one, I'll do it. I know I can."

Ron swallowed and nodded a few times, sort of twiddling his hands nervously.

he didn't hug his brother again, but he looked like he wanted to.

"I know there isn't much, but if there's anything I can do--like going back and asking where'll you'll be or something when you leave for the assignment or--or something, I'll do it," he said. "Just tell what to do and I'll do it."

"Just be yourself, Ron. Do what you normally do. That's all." Bill reaches out and squeezes Ron's shoulder. "I can tell you where I'll be on assignment: Luxor. I can tell you when I'll be there: August. I can tell you who will send me: Dumbledore. And I can also tell you that the only thing our family will know is that I'm off again for Gringotts, just as always. Don't give it a second thought."

He smiles at Ron. "Go on. Don't be so sad: we're here, we're all right."

Ron smiled a small smile that didn't reach his eyes, and said, "I'm going to go see if I can get Hermione to stop being a hermit for a while. You..." He swallowed. "You take care of yourself."

He was going to go find some paper, write all that down and ask Hermione what the hell they should do. There had to be some way to get the bar to let him out somewhere else, or at the very least, figure out where he was taken.

"Good idea. You give Hermione my love... no, not that way, prat." He reached over and fluffed Ron's hair one more time.

"And in the meantime, I'm going to enjoy my stay here as best I can."

Ron flushed at the first thing, but didn't argue with Bill for once, because that was the last thing Bill needed at the moment.

He nodded. "There's got to be some way out of here--back home."

And then he walked away, giving his brother one last furtive glance before he went towards his room, to write everything down.