milliways_bar | (no subject)

(no subject)

Joan comes in through the back door, and decides to get some dinner. The grilled chicken caesar salad sounded good so she ordered some at the bar. The bar decided to behave itself mostly, though it gave her another Shirley Temple with her meal.

"Yes, let's rub it in my face that I can't drink yet shall we?" She mutters as she takes her order, and finds a handy table.

Anyone want to talk to a non-nun girl with a direct connection to the Almighty?

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

How about the best friend of the Allmighty's son?

"I'll never get used to this no underaged drinking think. In Nazareth, underaged drinking was when pregnant women got drunk. Times have changed, huh?"

Biff is sitting next to Joan. How'd he get there? Magic! Okay, not really.

(ooc: oh that is too prefect. *squee*)

Joan glanced over, slightly surprised, but then said, "I don't understand it either."

The rest of her brain then pointed out what else was said, "Wait, Nazareth?"

"Uh huh. I grew up there. It was really brown." He sticks out his hand. "Levi-who-is-called-Biff, professional disciple."

Oh, uh, ok," Joan stares at him, but then shakes his hand, "Joan Girardi, high school student. What's a professional disciple?"

"Of Jesus Christ," Biff elaborates. "High school, huh? That sounds fascinating. Is it really like Saved By the Bell?"

Joan facepalms, "Of course, God would be in the picture somewhere."

She laughs only vaguely knowing of the show. She was pretty young when it was on the air.

"Hardly. It's not like a tv show." ~~yay, fourth wall refs, whee!~~

"'Scuse me?" says the ever eloquent disciple.

"How come? Is the dialogue better?"

"You know the son, I've talked to the dad, or to God, or at least, he shows up, and talks to me, regularly. For two years now." Joan prattles out an explaination.

Joan thinks bemusedly, "I think so. But there's no commerical breaks. Unfortunately, because that would be handy to get out of test days."

Biff stares.

"You're that girl who talks to God!" he declares, looking ecstatic. "I've been meaning to talk to you! Listen, next time you see Him, would you ask him to tell Josh that Biff says hi? And thanks for the ressurection? And that Maggie is well, and . . . I should probably make you a list, sorry if this is a lot."

Now Joan stares.

"You... you've heard of me?"

"Yeah, someone mentioned you the other day when I told her I was Jesus Christ's best friend."

"Oh," Joan blinks with surprise, "Uh, who was it?"

"And um, I guess I could say something. Haven't seen him or her, since tends to show up as different people, around here at all, so I might have to wait until I get back home. But I could pass along any message you have." She shrugs.

Biff shrugs. ~~His mun doesn't remember, say sorry.~~

"All right. Could you tell him - and this is for Josh - that I'm all right, and Maggie's all right, and we both miss him, and he would have loved karaoke? Do you think you could take a letter for him, if I write you one?"

"Excuse me one moment." Joan holds up a finger, and runs over to the Bar to ask for a pencil and some paper. A 'Physics for Dummies' book also shows up. She glares briefly at the reminder of how she had done in that class, but whispers her thanks to the bar anyway.

She comes back, sits down, and flips open the book to start scribbling notes away in it. She talks as she furiously writes, "Ok, yeah, and a letter? Sure, I'll pass it along."

"Uh . . . just that, for now. 'I'm okay, she's okay, wish you were here.' If I see you again soon, I'll have a real letter."

There's something desperate in Biff's mannerisms. His cheerful smile is gone, and he's sitting unusually still, for him. He looks very lonely, but hopeful at the same time.

"I have to go start it," he says, and gets up to leave. "Thanks, Joan, it was nice meeting you."

She nods, and smiles, "Nice meeting you, too, Biff. See ya."
She waves.

KARR seems to have a bad habit of running into things lately. As he drives past he bumps into the table, stopping and grumbling to himself. "Damn, if only they'd clear this out more..."

The salad's jostled, but the drink goes flying.

"Hey, watch it, buddy!" Joan yells, and then blinks. How could a car even fit in this place?

"It's eaiser said than done," KARR snaps back, his scanner flaring for a moment. "Driving in here isn't as easy as it looks."

"Well, isn't there a parking garage with your name on it, huh? How did they let you in?" Joan fires back, her brain too angry to notice that she's arguing.

Arguing with a car.

A car that talks.

More Milliways weirdness.

"I'd back over the first person to try and stuff me in one. I like being able to move. And I came in through the door, like everyone else." He snorts, his scanner still blazing and moving back and forth rapidly.

Indignant Joan in full force. "So? Still doesn't give you the right to run people over."

"I didn't run you over; I bumped the table. If I had run you over, I'd need a wash."

Joan gets a disgusted look on her face, "You're sick, you know that?"

"And you didn't even say sorry for knocking over my meal!"

"You know, I've been called vain, arrogant, stupid...but never sick. That's a new one." His scanner continues flicking back and forth rapidly. "And I would've apologized if you had decided to start arguing immediately."

"Hey, I'm the injured party, I have a right to argue!" Spoken as somebody familiar with law proceedings, or at least has a family member who is. (Her father's a police detective)

"Do you also have a right to be irritating?"

"Do you?" she scoffs back, and crossed her arms.

"I think I do. I've never once claimed to be a nice person."

She stares at the car, and waves her hands at it, "Uh, hello, person? You're not even that. You're a talking car!"

She adds thoughtfully, "Which is kind of insane actually."

"I'm sentient, and I can talk. That makes me a person." He chuckled. "And I have a driver who would probably be willing to bring a wrench into that argument. And it's not insane for me to talk. I'm an AI."

"No, it doesn't. A person usually means a human being. Except for people like my brother, they usually don't have wheels."

"AI? What like a computer program?" Yep, Luke would so freak in this place.

"...Bonnie would definitely go after you with a wrench, I think. It might knock some sense into you. And in that case, you ought to go up to a good portion of the people here and tell all of them that none of them can be considered person. I'm sure they'd love that."

He snorts. "I'm impressed! You know what a computer program is."

"That's not what I mean!" She sighs, "Look, you're an inanimate object, or not living at any rate. Not exactly the same."

Joan just remarks, "Well, duh, everybody knows about them." Granted she mostly knows about them because her brother's always raving about them.

"If I was inanimate, could I move on my own? And I do happen to be alive. I'm alive, and I can die. Ask Death herself if you don't believe me."

He snorts again. "Obviously not everyone, if I have to explain what a computer is-not to mention what a car is-to half the people I've met here. Painting with a bit of a wide brush, aren't you?"

"How can a car die, except like on the road?" She wonders.

She then sighs, "Well, excuse me, I haven't been here that long, and most of the people I've met have all been around my time."

"Cascade failure. Viruses. Magnets. EMPs. Anything that would wipe out my CPU. I am an AI, you know. And when is your time? If it's anywhere in the 2000s, then I'll be glad I know other people from roughly the same years. Otherwise I would weep for the future."

"It's 2005 for me." Joan replies.

A slight smile, "So that would be a yes."

"In that case, I'm very glad I know people from the same time. It gives me hope."

"Why's that?"

"Because it reassures me that by the 2000s, not everyone will be an idiot."

She looks a little bemused at that.

"They still around though. Should see some of the people in charge for that."

"I suppose. And speaking of intelligence, I ought to go find someone with some. Good night." With that, he turns and heads off.

She just stares after the car, "Yeah, whatever, you piece of junk."

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only