milliways_bar | (no subject)

(no subject)

There's a terrorist at the bar, having the worse day of his life. Ever. Bar none. And it's his own fault in more ways than one, but in no small part because he asked for it.

So, after not even attempting to sleep, he's back in the bar on a mission to drink until he passes out.

Please, if you're of a sensitive disposition, dont bother him. He'll snap at you and end up hurting himself more. Which he really doesn't want to do. Leave him to his two bottles of tequila and anyone else, please refrain from commenting on the way he appears to be trying not to shake.

[OOC: Second link has warning for disturbing content]

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Jack's shocked for a moment, but manages to cover some of it. "What did you say?" he asks qith quiet menace.

And he sees that he's shocked him...but feels it more. And it burns.

He looks up. 'No kidding around. I'm just curious. It hurts you to kill people - especially the ones that didn't really do anything wrong...' He can't bring himself to say 'innocent' '...so why do you keep on doing it?'

Jack should be able to tell from his voice that he's genuinely asking, but he figures thats not a guarentee that he'll answer.

Jack can, indeed, tell that that's an honest question.

He snorts derisively. "I could answer that, but I can guarantee that it's something you would never understand, because it involves thinking of someone other than yourself."

And he gets the first genuine smile of the day, even if it is a bit tired and broken. 'You'd be surprised how much I am thinking of other people today.'

He remembers again how Kim felt when he touched her - and how she felt afterwards, alone in her room and unable to tell anyone. And he feels what Jack felt when he couldn'treach her and he was arguing with Chase...he closes his eyes for a moment but there's no escape there.

Jack snorts again. "Don't tell me you've finally grown a conscience."

He shrugs. 'I didn't say that exactly. Just...' He doesn't know what to say. '...like I said, I'm in an experiment of sorts. I was curious.'

And there's no trace of his usual smirk, or sarcasm, or anything. Just a normal voice.

"What, curious as to what it'd be like to be a normal person instead of a psychopath?" he snaps.

Part of him realizes he really proably shouldn't be goading Ramon, but then part of him wonders if there's even the merest hint of a possibility that this might be a learning experience for him. Besides, he can't resist the chance to get his digs in while he can.

He smiles. He's seeing that Arithon was right - there's nothing you can do when you feel like this. You have to let go, because gettng angry and into an exchange of insults will just end up hurting a hell of a lot more. And he's hurting enough as it is.

So he doesn't react to being called a psychopath, even in a favourable way. But he does think that he's pretty sure that normal people don't feel like this all the time - yeah they have guilt, but not where it's almost incapacitating. Not where every bad thing you've done since birth still haunts you.

'If you want to put it like that Jack, yes OK. I'd like to know why you do something that hurts you so much. It hurts for a long time afterwards.'

He's looking down at the bar as he says it, so that there's obviously no sarcasm involved.

Jack glares at him. "Because sometimes there are sacrifices that have to be made for the greater good. Again, not that I'd expect you to understand that."

He thinks about it a little. It seems the empathy is as strong as Arithon said, because he can imagine what Jack felt, see what he thought and...he sighs. He doesn't want to think about this any more but he wasn't getting a choice.

'It makes sense.'

Jack raises an eyebrow, smirking coldly. "Somehow I doubt that."

'Well like I said, you'd be surprised.' He smiles, a little bitterly. 'It seems empathy is nasty thing.'

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