milliways_bar | (no subject)

(no subject)

Castle comes downstairs only because he can't be alone in his room anymore. He's not hungry and really doesn't feel like talking to anyone. But all the same, he feels like he can't be alone.

He finds a dark corner booth, hides himself in it and curls up against the wall.

[For 24-Ways: Random mediates helpfully and makes Castle feel a little bit better. Tea is offered at one point.]

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There's an Amberite standing in front of him, arms planted squarely on his hips.

"Well."

"Go away." He doesn't look up.

Random gives him a look.

"You look almost as miserable as he does."

He closes his eyes tightly in pain. There's not much worse that Random could have said.

"You've talked to him?"

"I have."

A moment later, thin, but comforting, arms are wrapped about Castle's shoulders.

"I lied. You look much worse than he does. Stop this, your very posture breaking my heart."

He flinches, startled, but relaxes almost instinctively into the hug. He's been needing one all day, wishing desperately that he could have Mercutio's arms around him, but this is enough.

"I've never fucked things up so badly in my entire life," he whispers. "And do you have any clue how badly I managed to fuck things up when I was alive?"

"I don't think it's quite as bad as all that."

He gives him a sad smile.

"Though you will need to work to regain his trust. He believes you hate him."

"He thinks I hate him?" He almost laughs. Nothing could be further from the truth. "Well, fuck...of course he would..."

He bites his lip. "I didn't mean what I said to him. I don't know what even made me say it. But you can't...I mean, how do you apologize for something like that?"

"You say it wasn't true. You explain to him that you're only human, and that your lover is missing..."

He holds Castle a little tighter.

"...and that your enemy is about, and what has been safe is no longer so. That's enough to make anyone defensive. Andres will understand, I think."

He nods. "I'll try," he says quietly. "I just...I'm always hurting him, and I never mean to, and there's just got to be a point where he's going to want to get rid of me..."

Random shrugs, a little.

"Well, it's certainly not now. So apologize, when you're ready. All you can do is try your best."

"Yeah. I...you're right." He sits up. "I'll try to find him tomorrow...give him some time first."

He exhales slowly. "Thanks."

"You're very welcome."

He pulls back, and settles down, elegantly.

"Is your illness better?"

He rubs his eyes. It's gotten worse, but he doesn't want to go into that.

"I guess so. I mean, other than the argument, I'm doing okay."

Liar.

He bites his lips to stop himself from saying it.

"Well, your decision."

He frowns. "What do you mean by that?"

"I mean, I'm a courtier. It's a survival trait to know what people really mean. If you wanted my help, you'd tell me."

He frown at Lee.

"I'm perfectly capable of seeing that you're not alright. But I can't do a thing about it without your consent. So it's your decision."

"Look, it's nothing. I just haven't been feeling all that well. It's just, like, a 24-hour flu or something."

...more like a 96-hour flu and counting.

"You can try to do something about it if you want, but it's really not a big deal."

"No, I'm no healer. I was just going to offer tea with honey."

He shrugs.

"But if you don't want it, then don't."

"I don't think I could drink anything right now," he says, wincing. "But thanks anyway."

"Well, the 'Food, Drink, Medication' offer still holds."

He rises quickly.

"But I have to shoo. Will you be alright?"

"I...yeah." He nods. "I will. Thank you."

Random nods, turns, and walks off.

That went a lot better than it could have...

He curls up against the wall again, thinking hard.

After a moment, he flags down a waitrat and orders some tea with honey. Whether or not he'll be able to keep it down is anyone's guess, but he'll try.

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