milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Spike's definitely out of his comfort zone: gun under virtual lock and key (which means no clip loaded), lighter tucked away safely, and... he has no fucking idea what to expect.

No one's ever asked him for this kind of favor before, and it makes him nervous as hell. He's no good at it and he knows it, but he owes it to her to try. He sits at his usual table, glass of iced coffee already halfway drained. He hopes he doesn't need anything else.

At least he might learn a thing or two.

Or not.

He'll see how it goes. And remember never to make offhand comments again, because sometimes people take them seriously.

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"Hey." He shakes his head. "I want to know, but only if you're ready to tell me. We can wait. I can tell you stories instead."

Spike scratches his chin. "It's just kind of a shock seeing you, that's all. A good kind of shock, not a bad one."

He stands: he was always tall for his age, so he doesn't remember that sometimes kids need something to sit on with this kind of chair so they don't feel so... little. "What kind of book? I'll get one from the bar. You want anything to eat? To drink?"

There are more questions, but he can be good. He'll save them for later.

For much later.

She softly smiles. "I ate just before I got here..."

Hmm, I don't know what to say.

She smiles a little more widely and holds her hands apart a certain length. "This wide, I think," and she drops her hands by her sides.

She hesitates a moment. Just before he goes, she walks up to him and thrusts her hand in his. "I'll go with you."

He stops, shocked, as he feels her slip her hand into his.

She was never like this before: didn't want to be touched. He remembers learning that lesson real well, and more than once.

But this time he just answers quietly.

"Okay."

Hand-in-hand, they walk together to the bar.

How much time did you lose, little one, and how much time did you gain?

There's time for questions later. They get a book that looks suspiciously like an old Earth phone directory from the bar; Spike tucks it under his arm.

"Want to sit back over there? I'll tell you about taking Beth with me to Venus."

She nods quietly.

I hadn't forgotten, but I didn't really remember until just now... being in the bar that day, and the DeathBusters finding me.

Her hand squeezes Spike's a little. I'm sorry that happened, Oniisan. ...I'm sorry.

Tears begin to form again and she rubs them quickly away.

She looks back up at him when she feels composed enough, "Venus! That's cool! ...What's it like?" Not full of castles and stuff, she thinks smugly.

Her eyes look awfully damn shiny and bright; Spike sets the book down on the chair for her and pulls it out, away from the table. "Hop on, young lady, and I'll tell you a tale of mystery and intrigue and cops and robbers, and money and luxury and luck and skill and bravery." He takes a sip of his iced coffee and smiles at her before he begins, and if he had a handkerchief he'd hand it to her but then again, he doesn't want to embarrass her.

Everyone has a right to their own tears.

Instead, he tells her all about Venus: about the colors in the sky and the excitement of bounty hunting and how cool and collected Beth was and the market and bars and police station, and about getting paid and getting the hotel. He skips to the next day: the chapel, the aviary, the lake, the market again, the way they change the atmosphere from day to night: everything he can remember.

And he weaves a pretty damn good story for her. The only things he leaves out are the personal details.

And when he thinks he's talked long enough, he pauses and lights himself a brand-new cigarette and watches her.

"That's what Venus was like."

Her mouth gaping a little, Hotaru hardly realizes that he's just finished the tale.

She loves good stories, and that was a doozy.

And it all really happened... to her own Oniisan, no less!

"That was wonderful!" she says, clapping her hands, barely making a sound, though.

She repeats it over again, in her head, I'll have to tell ChibiUsa! She'll be so jealous!

Her face is still full of wonder. The future's Venus is nothing like their own...

"When are you going back?" She grins, not bothering to conceal her obvious desire to see it.

Matching her grin with one of his own, he shrugs. "We're going to visit Earth next, and Mars the time after that. We have it all planned out." He lets out a small laugh. "But it all depends when the door decides to open for us."

He leans back a little in his seat, a bit more relaxed than when she first showed up and shocked the hell out of him. "I've been to Venus before, Hotaru, but it was a hell of a lot more fun with Beth there."

Counting shooting stars together is always better than wishing on them alone.

"I have pictures, though. Just remind me sometime and I'll show them to you."

Hotaru hands clasp together before her, "Yes! That'd be so cool."

Shouldn't I be worried about still being here?

She's smiling brightly, and the smile begins to fade gradually.

....No, because...

It's gone completely, and her hands are placed upon her lap, politely folded. They'll just have to understand. I have priorities. My own missions to take care of.

"Oniisan," Hotaru starts, her hands fidgeting a bit in her lap.

"I'm sorry," she says out loud this time.

We all have things we're sorry for, imoutosan. He watches as her smile fades and her hands fold serenely, like there's some contest she's fighting with herself.

And she doesn't want to talk about it, and that's fine, but...

"Why are you sorry?"

"You were there..." her eyes run over with tears again. "When the Death Busters found me.

"I'm sorry... they... she..." She bites her lip. She covers her face with her hands. S'kyr'i'on indeed.

"I'm so sorry that you were hurt... and... everything. Everything that happened." she sobs through her hands.

"Hey."

Hey. What the fuck.

She's so little now, and he doesn't know what to do with her. For fuck's sake, she needs a phone book to sit on so she doesn't hit her chin on the damn table.

He reaches for her hands with one of his and pulls them away from her face. "Hey. Hotaru, listen to me: I'm pretty much thinking it wasn't like you did that to me out of some personal grudge, right? Which means it wasn't your fault and I'm okay, I'm okay. I've been hurt a hell of a lot worse than that."

Kind of by reflex, he rubs his other hand over his chest on the right-hand side, where Vincent's fingers dug in almost trying to kill.

Now that was on purpose.

"Mm..." she says, looking at his chest where he rubbed it. "You're right, but I'm still sorry," her lip quivers, and she jumps down to the floor so she isn't so far. It's in the past, but it still hurts. "Oniisan," she slowly goes closer, "I'm sorry." She hugs him again, around the neck.

It's almost okay to tell him about what happened while she was gone, but she's being careful. Her past is full of unpleasant things - he'll be sad...

"Shit, Hotaru, you used to hate touching people. You never liked it when anyone touched you."

What does a guy do, though, when he has a kid who calls herself his little sister hanging off his neck, arms around him? He can't ignore her.

He can only hug her back, and so for the second time tonight he does just that: wraps his arms gingerly around her frail back and holds her, and lets her cry, or think about crying, or whatever she needs to do. And in the back of his mind a little voice tells him he makes a lousy oniisan, a lousy big brother.

But he ignores that inner critic and just pats Hotaru's back. "You know," he says softly, "it's all right. Whatever happened, it's all right. We can talk about it another time: outside where the sun's bright and the day's warm and nothing bad can touch us. But now you have to tell me: do you have a place to stay?"

Ka-oniisan. Yeah, you're a fucking prince of a guy.

"I do," she says, hugging him tightly. "I'm not bound... anymore."

At length, she stands back, smiling. "You're worried about me?" She giggles.

Then stops giggling, so are my parents. Another mental facepalm. "I'm okay," she says, cheerfully.

..."I never liked to touch people?..." She tries to remember back... to that time.

He thinks back. "How many months has it been since you were here? See, I have that much time to make up for when it comes to worrying. Because I figured you weren't coming back, so there wasn't anything to actually worry about. But you know, once you start calling someone brother, it means something. It means something kind of solemn, and it means something by way of obligation. Emotional obligation if nothing else."

Fucking Samurai code. Why does that apply to me? I'm just a humble bounty hunter.

But he knows exactly why it applies: it's a question of honor. And that's something that's always kind of resonated for him. Killing people... well, that was just business. But the rest of what he did?

Yeah, right. Maybe if he stretches it he can turn it into something honorable.

Oh well. It was a good try.

"So you going back tonight, then." It's not a question.

Hmmm... Hotaru nods. "Professor Tomoe... my former Papa, isn't..."

...

"Around anymore."

He's dead. You could just say that, you know.

"My parents today are three women. They don't know that I'm here. They knew about my appearance here, but didn't want me to go alone the next time. It kind of happened by accident. And I really shouldn't make them worry... again."

His eyes narrow as he remembers: there were two girls -- women, probably -- in the bar acting like they knew Hotaru back before the shit hit the fan and she disappeared. They gave her cake, they gave her presents, even though the Hotaru he knew didn't want any of that shit.

He wonders if they're the same people.

Time for that later. Yeah, definitely time for that later.

"Sounds like a cozy little arrangement. It's all working out okay for you?"

Hotaru opens and closes her mouth - about to speak, but then realizing that she can't possibly describe all the wonderful things about the three of them. 'Everyday like a dream.'

The past few months have been the all-around best of any life she's ever lived, in all the lives she can recall, (dozens, at least).

Finally, she merely nods, and smiles, "Yes. We're very happy."

"Good." He studies her for a minute and damn, she looks so little.

So little.

"Ask you a question?" He's proceeding with caution, because he knows she wants and doesn't want to talk about things: he can see the duality in her eyes.

She nods slowly, and smiles, because she's not sure what he's going to ask, or what sort of answer she'll give.

"You look younger."

He knows looks can be deceiving. "So... how old are you?"

She bows her head a little so she's looking at him askance. "I am younger," she says, pouting in play.

Then, she looks down at the floor. "I..." she starts. "I haven't been alive very long. It's been a few months, maybe."

Laughing quietly, he shakes his head: he deserved that, he guesses. "You can put the pout away, imoutosan, I'm immune to its charms."

Now he laughs out loud, but the laugh fades.

So she really did die that night back in March. He'd thought so. He'd kind of felt it, and he can't explain how he knew or why he knew it but really, he did.

A few months. And yet she's not an infant. There must be a hell of a lot of magic at work. Of course, she could do magic on him before.

"Okay."

That's all he says about it. Anything else will lead them right back to what she said she didn't want to talk about, not tonight, and he doubts he can stand her pressing that tiny white palm of hers against his face again. He's better when things are a little more remote.

After waiting, surprised when nothing else is said, she relaxes again. It's all natural to her - everything that's happened since her rebirth. But her parents were shocked. ChibiUsa was shocked when they were finally reunited. It is shocking. She smiles gently to Spike.

Spike watches her for a little bit, then gives her a small grin. "Glad you're happy. Glad you're back. Glad you're not Bound. Glad you have a good family."

He's happy for her for all those things.

"You coming back again soon, or did you come here to check up on me and say goodbye?"