milliways_bar | (no subject)

Doctor inna bar, inna booth, not looking tired. Not today anyway.

"Hello Andres. You okay?"

He yawns and nods wearily
"Yeah, just tired. Haven't been sleeping well recently."

"I can sympathise with that. The only thing I can suggest is a warm bath and trying to clear your mind before you go to bed."

He sips his pint.

"What's keeping you awake? Is it what you were telling me last night?"

Castle the Recently Canon-Punctured storms over, collapses into the other side of the booth, puts his face in his hands and twists his fingers into his hair without a word.

"Nice to see you too."

"What's bothering you?"

There is no visible or audible response to this for several seconds, and then he sits up quickly and leans across the table, wringing his hands nervously.

"You know...you know how there are those rules here, about telling people they're fictional? Because it upsets them? Because people really don't like to know it if they're fictional characters? Because it sucks? You know?"

He nods. Slowly.
"You have mentioned these rules. Why do you ask?"

"Because I'm fucking fictional!" Back goes the head into the hands.

"Do you...do you know what a television show is?"

He raises an eyebrow and sits forward chin resting in his hands.
"No, no I don't, but you're what!? You mean like Mercutio?"

"Yes, like Mercutio!" He whimpers quietly. "A TV show is--it's...it's like a play, that you watch on a screen, but...in episodes. It's continuous. I can't explain it. I'll try to explain it later. But...fuck."

He bites his lip and takes a deep breath to try to explain things again. "There's this TV show, in some universe, somewhere. It's about CTU, and how we deal with certain terrorist attacks, and it's called 24, and I'm a fucking fictional character on this fucking TV show played by a fucking actor and written by some fuckmook named Joel Surnow and I don't know how much of my life was even real anymore!"

Andres sits quietly, taking it all in. He's quiet a few moments after Lee finishes as well.

"Well fuck." He finally mutters. "Who told you that?"
He stands and moves around to the other side of the booth. He sits again and holds Lee tightly.

"You have your memories. Those are real to you. And you're here. That's real enough for me." He says quietly.

Lee wraps his arms around Andres' waist and clings tightly to him in return. "Thank you," he whispers. He'd needed to hear that.

He lets himself be comforted by Andres' warmth for a while and then sighs quietly. "I'll be okay. It's just a shock. Everyone from CTU's kind of in shock about it since Chappelle told us. He's, um, my former boss...he died a few years ago."

Yeah. Season 3, Episode 18.

"Chappelle. That's the asshole's name." He mutters.

"Well, at least you were interesting enough for a TV show. I mean, anyone can write a play about their life. Not everyone can get it performed."

Andres smiles. He feels terrible for Lee, but his own bad mood is suddenly forgotten at having him so close.

"Would you rather have not known?" He asks curiously.

"Nah, he's not an asshole. I didn't think he was, anyway. Everyone else did. He liked rules a lot."

He nestles gently closer against Andres. I should have checked on him more...should have seen how he was doing with Ellie...should have tried to help him more...shouldn't have just left like that after Gorlim.

"When I look back on it in a few days, I'll probably say no. Right now I just want to get drunk and find this Joel Surnow guy and set his mailbox on fire or something."

He sighs. "Forget it, though. Are you okay? How're you and Ellie doing?"

"Ellie seems to be doing alright. Though she's done little more than sleep since Friday night, and as far as I can tell, Gorlim hasn't woken up either."

*Shrug*

He grins. "I'm terribly jealous, I must admit. The floor is not so comfortable." He yawns, as if unintentionally proving his point.

"But tell me about your talk with Random and I'll tell you about mine."

Oh god, where to start...

"You're sleeping on the floor?" He looks up, concerned. "The Bar won't even give you a couch or anything to sleep on? Fuck, Andres, that isn't right. I can understand you wanting to be there for her when she wakes up, but you can't be sleeping on the floor."

What to do about that, though, he doesn't know. He can't offer to take both of them into his room.

Shame floods him again at the memory of his conversation with Random. He closes his eyes. "I don't want to talk about what happened with Random," he says. "I'm...really not proud of it, all right?"

"No worries Lee, I have not been intending to sleep. I honestly have not asked, nor attempted to sleep." He chuckles. "You really need not worry about me. I am doing much better."
-If not eating or sleeping qualifies as better. . .
shut up

He sighs. This is starting to get old. The boy doesn't even have to tell the truth anymore.
"Alright. We'll talk about what you wish to discuss, when you care to discuss it."

"Andres, you can't go three days without sleeping. You'll make yourself sick. I'm not being patronizing; that's fact." He sits up, deeply concerned.

Can I not leave him alone for a few days and trust him not to himself sick, for christ's sake? a tiny part of him thinks. And then he feels miserably guilty for letting that cross his mind. He should have been there. He should have tried to help more.

"Look, if you have to know, I punched him. He was pissing me off, and I just...lost control, and hit him. You wanted to know." He looks away, ashamed.

"I will do something about it if I start feeling worse. I promise. Random took care of my headache, and beyond that, I feel fine."

He knows it's not smart, but he can't bring himself to eat. He has no desire to do so and no appetite.

"It has just been difficult to worry about myself with everything that's been happening recently. I did not notice the lack of sleep until this evening."

"As for punching Random, I understand. I wanted to do the same myself, last night."

"But you're...okay with him now?" He frowns deeply, confused. Of course he isn't complaining...well, all right, maybe a little...no, really, it's just a hefty load of WTF.

He doesn't care about Random now, though, what is or isn't happening with that. He squeezes Andres' shoulder, and his eyes are troubled.

"You're the last person on earth I'd tell to worry more, but...really, Andres. You're selfless to a fault. You look exhausted." His hand begins moving more rhythmically, trying to gently knead a bit of the tension from Andres' shoulders, as Mercutio sometimes does for him. He doesn't know if it's welcome, but Andres had told him not to be afraid to touch him...

"No, no I am not okay with him now, but I needed his help, so I had to be civil. I had him read his cards for me. To find out what happened to Gorlim. It doesn't look good."

He frowns at the bad news he received the night before, but decides not to dwell on it now.

"But perhaps I am exhausted. Running into Random lastnight, and then Ramon today, will do that to you." He grins.
Then sighs contentedly as the tension is slowly worked out.

"Thank you."

"Don't mention it," he whispers, but now he's even more worried, and he feels a sharp stab of guilt that wasn't there before.

How badly did I hurt Gorlim? How much of that is my fault? Is he going to be all right?

He'll never admit that he's worried about Gorlim. He doesn't know why he is, himself. But he has to ask. "What did the cards say about him? Unless you'd rather not say."

He shifts position, working gently with both hands.

Andres turns slightly to give Lee a better angle to work with.

"Gorlim was not acting of his own accord. There was a compulsion placed on him.

All Random would tell me was that it was beyond even Q. One of the primary forces of the universe or some gibberish. Told me that if I knew the fellows name everyone I cared about would die. I wouldn't have believed him except he seemed pretty freaked out. Fell off a bar stool and everything." He chuckles. "Honestly, seeing that was the only thing that made it worth it. Though he did say the fellow did it just to be cruel. Who knows what we're dealing with. Of course, now that I've told you this, I'm going to have to kill you." He says facetiously.

He really did find himself in a much better mood all of a sudden.

He hadn't thought Gorlim was really acting of his own accord, not after hearing Gorlim's testimony, and being under that spell himself...

But he's scared now. He doesn't know what limits the forces of evil have here...and if Random is really that frightened...

Everyone you know will die?

He closes his eyes and realizes he hasn't answered. He kneads a little harder, slipping his fingers into the collar of Andres' shirt but going no further than that.

There's time to worry yet. Nobody's trying to kill us right now. He makes himself believe that, and finds himself feeling better too.

"I'd like to see you try," he murmurs, with a slight smile.

"Let me go demand the name from Random then." He smirks in return.
After a few more moments he pulls away finally, and turns to look at Lee once more.

He simply watches him for a few moments, then smiles.
He says nothing,

He holds Andres' gaze for a moment, and maybe he looks troubled, or just confused.

He is confused, and he's been confused, terribly so, for weeks now.

"You're not happy," he whispers. "I want to do something about that and I don't know how."

Andres tilts his head and looks at Lee slightly puzzled.

"Despite all that has happened, I am not unhappy. Simply concerned. For everyone." He shrugs. "As I said, don't about me. What is it that concerns you?"

He looks away again, troubled, and sighs.

"Just confused." He rubs his eyes.

"And...I don't know...I should have been there more for you in the past few days. I haven't even seen you...I didn't know you weren't sleeping...I could have tried to help you with everything..."

Andres frowns and rests his chin in one hand again.

"I appreciate the concern, Lee, and would dearly love to have you around more, but I have no right to lay claim to all of your time. I love you, but it is your own. To do with as you please. I will make due, regardless."

He smiles again, in an attempt to be reassuring.

He feels a painful little thrill at that 'I love you,' and swallows.

"You can have me now," he says quietly. "For as long as you want me."

He doesn't quite know what he's offering, or again, if it'll be even remotely welcome. But he doesn't want to leave, doesn't want Andres to walk away...

He smiles again, warmly this time, and nods.

He puts an arm around Lee and pulls him close once more. "Thank you." He places a kiss on Castle's cheek. "In that case, I will keep you as long as you will allow it."

He lets his hand drift down onto Andres' chest and captures his lips with a gentle kiss. "I'm glad," he whispers against Andres' mouth.

I can't ask you to go upstairs with me. I'm afraid to ask. I would, if only you would ask me...I would do anything you asked of me and be glad to do it.

Andres' lips follow Lee's before he can pull away again. He returns the kiss, pulling him closer as he does so.

"Don't make me stay with Ellie tonight." He whispers in return, and leans in again for one more kiss.

His heart pounds and he can't stop it. He twines his fingers in Andres' hair and kisses him deeply, leaning harder against him, wanting the contact, wanting to feel the warmth of Andres' body against his own everywhere he can.

"I wouldn't. I don't want you to. Stay with me."

After a long, lingering couple of moments, Andres pulls his head back briefly. "I thought you'd never ask." He says breathlessly.

He nips at Lee's earlobe playfully, then pulls away slowly.

"We'd better head upstairs then, before you're outed to whole bar, right here"

"Oh, christ, I already am. And I don't care." He laughs breathlessly and stands up.

"Come on." He takes Andres' hand.

Andres stands as well and allows Lee to lead the way.

He wonders how much of that lost sleep he'll be making up for tonight.