milliways_bar | (no subject)

(no subject)

[Immediately previous, in the Dreaming. Conversation.]

The air by the bar kind of...moves.

And then there is an Aes Sedai and a gunslinger of Gilead.

Roland lets go of Moiraine's hand and looks around. SSDD.

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After Moiraine departs, Susan approaches from where she had been sitting with Faith.

And oh, but she is pale and mayhap nervous, but her soft words are clear.

"Goodeven, Roland. Long days and pleasant nights."

"May you have twice the number, Susan." His voice is calm, and there's a hint of a smile.

This isn't her fault.

(we both know how you are at keeping secrets from loved ones)

Desire had been right, oh aye, and even as she flashes a quick smile in return, Susan's hands are twisting together helplessly.

But oh, the feel of the ring on her finger makes her realize what it is that she's doing, say true, and she forces herself to stop, clasping both hands together at her waist, instead.

"I'd-- I'd speak with ye, if ye'd not mind it."

"And if you'd speak, I'd hear."

Roland nods to the chair that Moiraine had occupied a few moments before.

She sits down, and is quiet for a moment, visibly searching for words. For oh, she'd known that she must speak with him, had wanted to-- but now that the moment is here, her throat seems to have closed up, say true.

(give my love her fondest wish)

For some reason, as she looks at him, she finds herself thinking of a much younger Roland that she had met here at Milliways... who she had still loved, oh aye, and who had left her--

(if it is, my dear, I will)

--and that with her blessing.

(go with my love)

Softly, she asks, "Do'ee remember the day thee first called us ka-tet?"

In a field of the dead --

-- or in the local boneyard in Hambry, in Mejis. Yes.

"I do."

"I said then that I'd come between yer plans, and between the three of ye."

Susan bites her lip, looking up at him.

"I'd--"

(I'd understand it if ye hate me)

"--I'd never wished to come between ye, never in life-- then or now."

"This is no fault of yours, Susan." Said gently -- and honestly. "Understand that."

(you have been Desire's... it's not something you chose or something you control)

"Mayhap not," she answers quietly.

(it doesn't change anything - it puts a name to what was already there)

"But I -- I accepted him, Roland, and we're to be wed -- but I'd not want to see trouble between any of us because of that."

"There won't be."

His response is simple.

"And I wish you both well."

And that's the truth.

And oh, but the sudden light that blazes in her face transforms her, from a nervous and worried -- mayhap fearful -- young woman to one with an expression of clear and shining hope.

"Oh, Roland. I thank ye, I do."

"No need to." Still calm. "It's what will be. That's all."

She nods, and looks down at the table, quiet once more in the face of his calmness. She's not certain, but oh, she'll not press it, not again, not with this.

"Is there -- is there aught I can do? Or-- or say to thee?"

Uncertain and hesitant, but her wish is clear.

Roland shakes his head. "Not a thing except to be happy and well."

(the sound of the wind through the grass)

She remembers lying with him on their last peaceful afternoon together in a place far from here, in a world that has moved on.

(no more talking - talking's done)

She remembers sitting with him as he was for a brief time here at Milliways, not all that long ago, say true-- their last peaceful afternoon in truth, and one she knew even then that she'd always remember.

This moment is an ending in itself to something that has long been between them, and well she knows it--

(bird and bear and hare and fish)

--and for all that Susan Delgado is happy, for all that she loves and will always love Cuthbert Allgood,

(if I'd met this one first)

she had loved Roland Deschain first.

(go thy course in peace and go with my love)

She nods, and then stands-- and hesitates, looking at him.

(can we not be friends and tet-mates as once we were?)

"I'll wish thee long days and pleasant nights, Roland, say true."

It's the end.

Dinh in truth. Father. King. Protector. And not lover.

"May you have twice the number, Susan."

Still calm. If he's feeling loss -- he hides it.

She smiles hesitantly at him, but true and sincere for all of that, and then turns to go-- and as she turns, Susan sees Cuthbert across the room.

And as she goes to him, her smile brightens.

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