milliways_bar | (no subject)

(no subject)

There was a Woobie inna bar, relaxing on a stool with a bottle of beer. He was once again wearing a blue t-shirt, proclaiming in white letters across the front:

My name is Andrew.
I am not a turtle.

Ahhh, it was almost like old times. Being a friendly sort, he wouldn't mind company in the least, and is especially fond of meeting new people.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

"But has your life been a romantic comedy? Let's be honest, here. And... I'm still not following this playing cards thing."

"No," she admits. "But I still hoped that if I was fictional, my fictional persona had a better life. Sorry, I meant baseball cards. It was a card with a picture of me and a description of what I went through on a certain day..."

"You played baseball?" So confused.

"No, but it was the same basic idea. Apparently I'm a character on a tv show."

"Have you seen the show yet?" The way Andrew figured it, it couldn't possibly be worse than Raph's.

"No, I'm...not really sure I want to. Honestly, Andrew, I'm not sure I want to see some of the things that happened to me replayed in front of an audience. Especially because it's not just me it's...everyone I know."

Andrew nodded. "Yeah, I guess that might be hard, for you. Me, I doubt it would even be worth watching. But I think we talked about that before, didn't we?" He smiled. "My show would get cancelled after the pilot."

She smiles a little, "I remember that...apparently my show, no not my show, I'm not really the lead lasted a longer time." She looks at him, "Maybe you don't have a show, maybe you have a book..."

"Or a comic book with a very low readership," Andrew laughed. "The Most Unextrordinary Adventures of Andrew the Not-Turtle."

She laughs in spite of herself, "I don't know, I think being a cross dimensional triplet would make a pretty good comic."

"Yeah, but how can I compete with Raph? In his comic, he's, like... assassinating evil aliens with his ninja skills. Mine would be me, sitting around drinking chocolate milk and Heineken." He grinned.

"If you drank chocolate milk and Heineken together, it seems like you'd be spending a lot of your comic feeling not very good."

Andrew laughed brightly. "Yeah, then it would suck even more." He cast a look over to Bar and then back to Michelle. "You really think I could be fictional somewhere?"

She smiles a little, "I don't know, I'm not sure I'd bet against it."

Logically, Andrew knew he shouldn't, but he honestly thought himself far too mundane to be a work of fiction anywhere. He cast another glance to Bar and hesitated before he spoke.

"You feel like playing the odds?"

She stares at him, trying to figure out if he's serious.

"Do you really want to know?"

"How bad could it be?" Oh, Woobie. Deluded, insane Woobie. You have no idea.

Oh Andrew, that is the question of doom. "Hopefully you won't be an extra."

Andrew laughed. "I dunno. I kinda expect it." He paused, drumming his fingers across the top of the bar. "So, uh. I guess I should ask her, huh?"

"That would mean somewhere around here is the main character, though." She nods, "I guess you could think it."

"Right." He took a breath, and then laughed. "I don't know what I'm worried about. Bar, if I'm fictional somewhere, could I have a copy of whatever I'm from, please?"

When nothing immediately appeared, Andrew shrugged, although part of him may have been a bit disappointed. "See? Too boring to be-" His words faltered as a single copy of a DVD appeared on the bar before him. He was on the cover, and so was Sam, and she was smiling, wide and perfect and exactly like herself. Below that was a picture of the two of them on his bike, and in the middle in white letters on a red background was the title "Garden State."

Andrew couldn't speak. He couldn't move. Although his first thought was, Who the hell is Zach Braff?

Michelle nods again, relieved herself until the DVD appeared on Bar's surface.

She looks down at the DVD and back up at Andrew's shocked face. "Andrew? Andrew? Are you okay?"

"That's me," he whispered, barely audible and still staring at the DVD box.

"I think it is," she says softly and touches his shoulder. "Can I see?"

Ever so slowly, a smile began to spread across his face. "It says my movie is hilarious and heartfelt," Andrew replied, sliding the box over to her and pointing to the quote on the front from Rolling Stone.