milliways_bar | (no subject)

(no subject)

A young woman with a tangle of dark, curly, brown hair was sitting alone in a booth. Several items were abandoned on the table before her, including a small, leather-bound journal and a plate with a half-eaten chicken salad sandwich. Her bright blue eyes were perusing the pages of the New York Times, although closer inspection would have revealed that they didn't seem to be settling on anything.

She certainly looked like April O'Neil, yet if you were to judge by steely, distant expression alone, you would have easily mistaken her for someone else. There was also the matter of a certain gold locket being conspicuously absent from its previously permanent place around her neck.

~~[OOC: 4:00 PM ET - Mun is leaving work now, and going to do real life-ish stuff. Will be back in a few hours.]~~

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

Dear God,

"You really want me to come out and say it? It's not the rest of the people in here I'm interested in avoiding, okay?"

Please forgive me.

"I'm tired of your bullshit, Mikey. All of you."

Because I will never forgive myself.

"If I wanted a fucking headache, I'd beat my head against the table. You've ruined my life, is that not enough for you?"

Amen.

Mike takes everything in stride. He's not his brothers. He won't try to rationalize her outbreak. People try to do that for Raph, and he hates it. He won't point out the inherent flaws in her logic. The fact that without them, she'd have no life to ruin. Things like that are Donnie's domain, and the reason he's usually shut up in his lab. Being the big brother is right out.

No, Mike has a place, and he knows it.

"Does this mean you don't want the ice cream?"

"No, I don't want the fucking ice cream!" And lo, as if to illustrate the point, the bowl was suddenly on the floor and April was shaking in what might have seemed to be anger, but wasn't.

She'd never done this before, to him. This sort of behavior was typically reserved for Raph and Casey. Occasionally Leo. But not Don, and never, ever Mikey. You just didn't do that stuff to Mikey.

He's not listening to her words. He's watching her move. Tense. Coiled. Waiting to spring or snap, which ever comes first. The bowl slides across the table with a speed that Mike doesn't see. That he can't see. Stopping and catching it would have been all too easy, but he doesn't.

Sometimes things need to be thrown. Doors need to be slammed. Actions need to happen even, and especially if, you can stop them.

He hasn't heard her, but that doesn't mean he wasn't listening.

"I love you, April."

And that? That did it. Something within her broke, and she cursed herself for not having walked away when she had first had the impulse. April placed her hands palm-down against the tabletop and leaned across it, rising slightly from her seat.

"Is that what you call this?" she asked, unshed tears standing in her eyes. It was a miracle they'd not fallen yet, with as much as she was shaking.

"Yup. I'd say that sums it up nicely."

Mike leans forward as well. One hand covers hers, and a stolen kiss is placed on her forehead.

April's eyes fell closed, her teeth gritting together in pained frustration. Her instinct was to crawl across the table and curl up with him in her arms, but she was fighting it with every fiber of her being, and it hurt.

"Why are you doing this to me?" she whispered, the tears finally falling, her face scrunching up as her resolve slowly crumbled in spite of her best efforts. "Why won't you just let me go?"

"Because you're family. And family never let go. We hold on so you don't have to."

His other hand cups her cheek, thumb lightly brushing away her tears as they fall.

"Stop it, Mikey, just stop!!" April exclaimed, pushing his hands away and pulling back. "You don't need or want me, so just stop! It's over. Done."

"That's not the truth."

"Yes it is."

Why don't you love me like you used to?

"No, April. It's not. It might feel like the truth, but that's just the power of lies.

...

what happened?"

Nothing. Everything.

"Things have changed."

"Yeah? How so?"

Quietly, "You don't need me anymore. You have her." She was refusing to look at him again. It just made her heart ache more.

"Her? Her who? Mel? April, I don't and will never have her. There's only one girl I'm going to go home with, and she's currently trying her damnedest to not look at me."

"You don't know that. Things change-" Just like he changed. You've changed, too, in ways you don't even see.

When she spoke again, she was barely audible. "I've hurt someone, and I don't know how to stop it. I don't know how to stop loving him." I don't think I want to.

"not everything changes."

He reaches out for her again, thinking of Xander.

"i don't know that anyone ever does stop loving someone."

She thought to push his hand away again, but couldn't muster the energy for it and so let it remain.

"I'm so confused, Mikey." She lifted her eyes to his, and shrugged slightly. "Who am I supposed to love, if not him?" Her chin trembled a bit, and she looked away again. "I thought he loved me," she whispered, wincing.

"I don't know. And not just because I'm not sure what him you're talking about."

April looked up at him again, her brow furrowing.

"...neither am I," she replied, only just then realizing it.

"That might be the crux of your problem."

He can't help it, he reaches out and touches the tip of her nose, smiling easily.

"Meep."

"Stop it," she protested, completely lacking conviction.

"I don't think I want to love anyone else." She wasn't sure she knew how. It felt stiff and awkward. Unnatural.

"I don't think that's something you get to control, April."

"I know, Mikey. I know. I just told a man who is not one of your brothers that I love him. I think I'm aware."