milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Mike returns to the bar, having changed his ever present orange Hawaiian print shirt for something a little more subdued. You know, a blue one. Draped over one arm is a flowered wreath which appears to have been made with Two-Ply Facial Tissues. In the right light one can see that it has been sprayed with glitter. Placing the wreath down on the Bar, Mike sets about crafting the specials menu for the evening's Happy Hour in script is stylized, yet tasteful.

IN MEMORIAM
Lake Water
Rubber Duckie
The Vibrator

When the wreath is finally set in a place of prominence, Mike mixes himself a Rubber Duckie, and holds it aloft.

"Ladies and Gentlemen of Milliways. The Bar is now open. Let us drink to the memory of Senior Squeakins. May he delight those whom he meets, from now until the end of all things."

He downs the drink, and turns the now empty glass over, mouth down on the Bar.

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Raven sighs, and tilts his head. His voice is very patient.

"This would be why I asked, yes."

"OH...you're being serious? I didn't know."

He's honest, he really had no idea.

"Senior Squeakins was very very useful. He was a trusted friend and confidant. Always there for me when I needed him. His actions spoke louder than words, you know."

"It is often so, with ducks. Mostly they just chant 'bread'. It is a subtle language."

Raven nods, solemnly.

"Oh it wasn't Senior Squeakins that did the chanting. Trust me."

"I trust you implicitly, Mike. Except when I am trying to remember how not to pretend to be high."

"Awww, that's sweet....I think."

"I think so as well, but my opinion may be biased."

Raven grins.

"Yeah, mine too. I never hear anything that isn't a compliment. And if it isn't a compliment, I make sure to process it as if it was."

"It is a very good way to remain happy, I think. Not quite so good for remaining not-dead, perhaps, but you have managed it."

"I have indeed. I'm a force to be reckoned with. I'm sort of like a Care Bear, only instead of The Stare, I kick ass for optimism."

Raven blinks.

"Bears cannot kick ass for optimism?"

Raven does not know these Care Bears.

"Oh no. They only Love and shoot things out of their stomachs...which, for some reason, they wait until the very end of the cartoon to do. Makes no sense. If you've got the perfect weapon that will end all conflicts with little to no actual damage to anyone...YOU USE IT!"

This has clearly bothered Mike for some time.

Raven tilts his head.

"Perhaps it is intended as an object lesson? Or perhaps it is merely intended to drive you mad. Love Bears are odd, that way."

"A lesson? A lesson in what?"

It's too late for madness. Far too late.

"A lesson in patience? A lesson in stupidity? A lesson in why talking Bears of Love are foolish and not to be trusted?"

"Ooh I like that last one. It has a good ring to it."

Raven grins.

"I think so as well."

He tilts his head.

"And I think, on that note, I take my leave. I find I am not thirsty after all. But thank you for answering my question about the rubber duckie."

"Hey, anytime. My vibrating rubber duckie is your vibrating rubber duckie.
...
You know, just forget that I said anything, okay?"

"There are some things it is better not to share."

Raven blinks.

"I am sorry, you were saying something?"

"Me? Oh goodness no. You have yourself a good night."

The grin is positively feral.

"Go well, Mike."

And a bird flies toward the rafters.

"Or don't go at all."

He waves and returns to his duties.

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