milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Faith's in the bar, in a booth with food and coffee.

She's wearing headphones, but it's not music - it's a French language instruction tape.

Nick's being stubborn about the teacher thing.

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"You're welcome, yeah I really am, and it's just as well, as I couldn't find anybody to help you."

Faith raises her eyebrows at him. "How'd you get penguin-ized? And for that matter, how'd you get it fixed?"

"It was a young man calling himself Robin who, ah ..." Simon looks wry. "There's something about the phrase 'turned me into a penguin' that doesn't get any easier to say.... And it was Anthy who turned me back.

"And really, don't feel bad about it. You were the only one who even came close to figuring it out. The captain and Wash thought I was a performing bird."

"Anthy's a good girl."

No, she can't believe she said it either.

"Really? Were they sober at the time?"

"As far as I could tell. I was trying to spell out 'HELP' with pretzel sticks, so they had some basis for that."

Faith snorts and shakes her head.

"Well, I'm sorry I couldn't be more help, and I'm glad you got un-penguined. Would have made your date with Kaylee a lot more interesting if you hadn't, but..."

That? Is the sound of Simon doing a spit-take. Fortunately without anything actually in his mouth at the time.

"I shouldn't talk when you're with me, should I?"

"...well, you've just answered the question of how I could have danced even less well than I did, so I'm grateful."

Faith laughs and ruffles his hair affectionately.

"Did it go OK, after you got depenguinized?"

"...yeah. It really did."

That's definitely a grin.

"Excellent."

Beat.

"You were a very cute penguin. I was looking forward to keeping you."

He looks wry again for a moment.

"I'll buy you a pet penguin the very next chance I have."

"Aw. That's sweet, but it won't be the same. It won't have your special brand of human-turned-penguin-charm."

Faith sighs. "And since Kaylee'd object to my keeping you like you are...a life of solitude, it would seem, is my destiny. Woe alas."

"Maybe you'll find someone who's always secretly wanted to be a penguin."

A bit thinly: "I'm sure Robin would oblige."

Faith's smile fades, and she looks at him, worriedly.

"...are you OK? I mean, joking aside, it couldn't have been any fun."

A deep breath. "...It wasn't. But I'm all right now."

A pause. "I appreciate your asking, though."

"I was a bird once. Raven. But that was voluntarily, so I could try flying." Faith pats his hand. "Count yourself lucky it was a penguin and not something with a smaller brain. When Meg was a butterfly she didn't want to change back."

"...how often does this kind of thing happen here?"

"In general? Pretty frequently. To Meg? Uh...pretty frequently. Though I'm told the centaur thing was her idea."

Faith grins. "My friend Alex was a cat. And Anthy made somebody a cow once."

Beat.

"There should be a support group."

Simon is trying to keep a straight face, and failing.

"For people who've been turned into animals and want to discuss the trauma?"

"Yes. We'll call it the 'Society To Prevent Interspecies Transformation.'"

Beat.

"'STOPIT,' for short."

Another beat.

"I'll figure out what the 'o' stands for later."

"...The Society To Officially Prevent Interspecies Transformation?"

"Yes!"

Faith beams at him.

"That's perfect! We can make buttons."

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