milliways_bar | (no subject)

Refreshed and happy? Andrew would have been suspicious had he allowed himself time to consider it. Instead, he slid onto the stool beside Tony and ordered a plate of pancakes and a large orange juice.

"Something's made you happy," he remarked, eyeing his friend.

Tony's grin is sly, the kind of sly guys make when a little nudge nudge wink wink made something happen. "Good morning, Andrew," he says, still with the sly grin.

"That good, huh?" Andrew chuckled, taking a sip of his juice.

"I wouldn't say 'good morning' if it wasn't good."

After all, nobody says "Crappy Morning," now, do they?

You might be surprised.

"We're moving back today," Andrew remarked. "That's why you're in such a good mood, isn't it? The idea of having me around everyday again just makes you glow inside. It's okay to admit it, you won't embarass me." He smirked and took a bite of pancake.

Tony laughs. "I never knew you guys moved out! Besides, you can't move out of this place, anyway. Think of it like a second home."

"You're not very observant, I have to tell you," Andrew snorted. "And we're moving back-moving back. Officially. Not living in New York anymore, although we're still working there."

He shrugs. "As I said, you can't move out of this place. It'll always find some way to bring you back." He pauses, nodding at Andrew's other comments.

And Tony, of course, being the king of coherent topic changes says: "Hey, Michelle told me you watched your movie."

That garnered a visable wince from Andrew. "Yeah. Did she tell you about it?"

"Just that it was, ah, a little uncomfortable for you. And that you tried out for our show."

"Uncomfortable doesn't begin to cover it," Andrew admitted with a sigh. "And yeah, I did. Awhile back. Obviously, I didn't get it. Guess I didn't look the part." He rolled his eyes.

Tony blinks. In disbelief. At what he's about to say.

"So, ah, um, what role did you try out for?"

"I don't remember, actually. Coulda been you, for all I know." Andrew shrugged and took another bite of pancake.

...

...

...

...

...Tony had been concerned about that.

His head hurts. It really, really hurts. Like a migraine rolling down the plains.

Andrew cut Tony a sideways glance, his fork stopping just before his mouth.

"You okay, man?"

"I need a vodka. I really, really need a vodka."

"Uhhh. Okay." Andrew thought it was kind of early for something that strong, but Tony's expression was persuasive. "Get the man a vodka," he asked of Bar.

Of course, Bar has a list of people who absolutely, resolutely, should never touch alcohol again in their lives and Tony is on that list.

So that vodka? Is water.

"Shit," he mutters.

"Shit?" Andrew was confused. He looked from the glass to Tony and then back again. "It's no good?"

"It's fucking water, Andrew! Of course it's no good!"

Andrew blinked. "She gave you water?" Maybe it really was too early. Secretly, Andrew thought it was probably a good thing.

"Yeah. Yeah. She only gives me alcohol when she wants to."

Andrew took a sip of juice and swallowed thoughtfully. "You been to AA, then?" he asked casually.

"..."

Pause.

"No."

"Me, either. Probably should, now that I think about it. Especially with that episode a few months ago." Andrew gazed placidly over to Tony. "After we first met, when I was so out of it. If I didn't tell you why I was like that, I'm sure Michelle did."

He tilts his head curiously. "She didn't."

"Oh." Idly, Andrew wondered if he should just tell Tony to watch the movie. "Well, uh. The long and short of it is that I was pretty heavily drugged for most of my life. I was off of them for a few months, but this place got to be too much, and... Well, I think you know how the rest goes." It was getting easier to talk about it, and Andrew imagined that was a good sign.

"Yeah," he says. He hadn't been on any medication beyond sleeping pills, but even then those were a way to escape hell whenever hell came.

"I can't believe she didn't tell you. She's such a good girl," Andrew mused.

"She probably didn't think it was right to tell anybody."

"She helped me through it, you know," Andrew replied, casting Tony a knowing glance. "Barely knew me. She's an amazing woman."

He likes you, Tony, but if you ever hurt her, he may be forced to kill you. So don't do that.

Chances are that if he hurt her, if he pushed her away and made her leave, Andrew wouldn't get a chance to kill him. Because he'd already be dead.

...think happy thoughts!...

He didn't know that. He feels a tinge of jealousy. Where was Michelle when he needed her the most? Why didn't she help him when he was depressed?

But he was the one who pushed her away, and she was the one who was most successful in pulling him out of his depression after his suicide attempt. But did she really do anything? More than just being there, and being enough because he loved her and he missed her?

Why wasn't it enough? Why couldn't he appreciate that? Why did he have to push her away, disregard her, ignore her...why did he expect her to solve all his problems when he couldn't solve them himself?

Tony sighs. Most dramatically.

"I'm not psychic." Andrew eyed Tony warily.

"I know she's an amazing woman," he says, a little wearily.

"I never said you didn't. What was with the dramatic sigh? Should I know something I don't, here?"

"No. It's a, um...actually I think I should go out for a walk."

Tony makes a move to leave. Please stop him before he flees into angst.

"Whoa there," Andrew said, reaching out to catch hold of Tony's closest arm. "Why don't I go with you? And we can have a little talk." Ut oh, Tony. He's gone into therapist!Woobie mode. You're doomed now.

Tony has Problems with men touching him. Even if they're his friends. They bring back bad memories, bad feelings. If this were pre-season 3 he'd give Andrew a look eerily similar to the one in this icon (because, ironically enough, it's a look he gave to Chase when he grabbed his arm...).

Alas, this is post-season 4, and Tony's not nearly as...friendly...as he was in season 3, and thus he is inclined to pull his arm away and rub it as if someone's doused a vat of hot oil on it.

"No, um, I'm fine. I can walk by myself."

"I'm not hitting on you," Andrew replied calmly. "And you sound pretty damned far from fine."

Tony's expression flashes from venom to gratitude to sadness in a matter of seconds. "Look, I just need..."

He sighs. He really doesn't want Andrew to go with him, but he also really doesn't want to feel alone. He suddenly thinks he should visit Kim but he isn't sure where she is and if it was right of him to bother her with his problems.

He shakes his head. "Just need some time by myself, all right?"

Andrew sighed, but shrugged. "Alright, man. I'm not going to force anything out of you. But just know that I'm here, okay? I know it sounds hokey, but it's the truth. And whatever this is, it sounds like chances are I can relate."

Tony nods. "Thanks," he says, before leaving for the outdoors.