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[OOM: Pre-Milliways: Salazar Slytherin prepares for a trip to meet his beloved Madaeze. He doesn't quite make it that far.]

Salazar Slytherin enters what he thinks is a tent in Diagon Alley. He, of course, is very wrong.

He groans heavily and turns back around to a blank wall. He isn't going home just yet.

His hands move over the wall as he murmurs some spells.

Blasted thing.

He closes his eyes and rubs his eyelids gently, his hissing low and guttural. Unless you can speak to snakes, chances are you won't understand him.

"BLASTED THING!"

Not too happy, that Salazar Slytherin.

[ooc: note to people: Plzkthnx no more threads? He'll be back tomorrow. note to self: have slow-timed with Arithon.]

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Smeagol gives him a look that plainly says "Are you a dumbass?"

"Do I look like a serpent? I'm a hobbit." Moron.

Smeagol almost giggles.

"Who'd be ruled by a coney?"

For Salazar has suddenly been transformed into a tiny, adorable bunny rabbit.

Now Smeagol really does laugh.

Bunny!Salazar is NOT amused.

Q!Smeagol IS.

And suddenly, Salazar is human again. Smeagol just continues to smirk.

Salazar brandishes his wand and mutters something in Parseltongue. Said something is a spell that is supposed to turn things into serpents.

And Smeagol just laughs.

"Three days ago, that would have worked. And I would have been terrified of you." grin. "All the worse for you, isn't it?"

Oh, look, it's a bunny. Oh, look, it's a megalomaniac.

Back and forth, back and forth.

Bunny!Salazar and Megalomaniac!Salazar are equally unamused.

Suddenly Smeagol stops laughing, and looks very seriously at Salazar.

"You will never rule anything," he says, and grins at the thought. "More terrible beings than you have tried, and failed. And so will you."

"YOU WILL NEVER GET AWAY WITH THIS." Salazar closes his eyes and concentrates.

Smeagol sighs.

"You're a lot stupider than the dark lords from my world."

This time, he turns Salazar into a table lamp. Much quieter.

This is so not amusing. When Smeagol turns back into the real Smeagol, Salazar Slytherin is going to turn him into a coney and feed him to Riana. That much is for DAMN sure.

And suddenly, Salazar is Salazar again.

"I have friends here you won't like, for your own stupid reasons. If you hurt them, at all, I won't kill you. But I'll make you wish that I would." And there's darkness in his eyes that doesn't match his face. It's too old. And too cruel.

And Smeagol disappears.

After all, Salazar doesn't know he wasn't always like this. And Smeagol has no intention of turning back.

Salazar, completely incensed, turns back to the wall and sees a knob.

He pulls it, it opens, and he's gone.

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