milliways_bar | (no subject)

". . .Or not?"

"I just don't know, Nita."

She eyes her, and frowns.

"Okay, am I missing something? Why is Chase getting powers a problem?"

"Can't explain it," she mutters. "Just..."

She looks at her for a long moment, and then says quietly, "Kim, look at me for a second."

She doesn't turn to look at her, can't, because she's holding together through avoidance right now.

"What is it, Nita?"

She frowns.

"Kim, I'm honestly not seeing how this is a problem. Chase is getting some interesting new abilities. That's a big deal, and he's trusting you with that information."

She puts a hand on her chest. "I kept my wizardry a secret from my parents until I thought I was going to get eaten by a shark. Is Chase gonna go do something like that?"

"It's not that...it's....he wasn't supposed to change and we can't really go home and magic doesn't exist on my earth, it...doesn't and if I have children they could have this ability and they'd be forever...different and I can't do that to them..."

"Kim, seriously, look at me." This last in the Speech, lending it a little weight.

She takes a deep breath and looks at Nita, but stares more at her ear than her eyes.

"So your world's sevarfrith -- you can't practice wizardry openly. So's mine, and wizards have been practicing there since the beginning of history." Wryly -- "It's easier to hide than you'd think.

"As for the kids thing--" She shrugs. "They might grow up with some extras. It doesn't sound like it'll hurt them."

"But we'll all have to hide and I thought that we could just come here sometimes but I wanted to go back home and get another degree and...too much change..."

"It's not...fair to bring children into a situation where they have no choice."

She sighs. "One of these days, I'm taking you to my world and introducing you to Tom and Carl. It's entirely possible to have a wizardly life and a so-called normal life as well."

That gets her a long Look.

"If you want to have kids that have a choice in everything, you're going to have some trouble having kids."

"Jasin said it sounded like Chase could channel."

And she's able to look at her now because annoyance has pushed away tears.

"How can I have children who are going to have the ability to channel whether they like it or not? In a place where people aren't accepting of differences and where they'll...never be able to have a normal life. I had no choice about who my dad was or what people would do to me to get to him."

She presses her lips together, "I can't do that to another generation. I just...can't."

". . .Oh."

That changes things a little. Nita wonders if Kim knows about the longevity.

But-- "Channelling is recessive, Kim. Unless you gain the ability as well, there's maybe a 25% chance of any of your kids being able to channel."

"But I wouldn't know until they were older and even if none of them had that ability...don't you think that if anyone knew about what Chase could do...and it's bad enough that my dad has to live in hiding, I couldn't take Chase having to as well but I don't know what to do."

"I think if anyone find out about what Chase could do, they either wouldn't believe it, or it would be easy to convince them that they didn't believe it."

She sighs. "Hiding doesn't mean living in a cave and changing your name. It means not being stupid enough to do big obvious wizardries in the public's view."

She nods a little, "But what if you don't age? Someone would...notice that."

"It's easy enough to change your appearance."

She shivers slightly, associating changing of apperances with nothing good.

She sighs. "Kim, I'm sorry. This is a big deal, yes, but I think you're overreacting a little. Trust me, people have been dealing with this on so many worlds for so many millenia.

"But didn't you have a choice? Isn't this...don't people usually have to choose this?"

"Some things you choose. Sometimes. . ."

She shrugs. "There are no accidents."

"I'll think about it," she says after a moment and takes another sip. "Are you okay?"

She sighs silently. "Yeah, I'm okay."

A thought occurs to her. "Actually -- I'm Unbound."