milliways_bar | (no subject)

Slayer, nearby chair.

Expression that indicates much headache.

Apparent obliviousness to the presence of others.

It's a moment or two before Cuthbert reacts to her presence.

Longer than usual, for a gunslinger.

When he notices her, though, he straightens up, a look of concern crossing his face.

"Faith. You doing okay?"

Faith's head jerks up at the sound of his voice.

There are dark circles under her eyes.

"...Bert. Hey, sorry, didn't see you there...I, uh, have a headache. Did you see my note?"

Cuthbert nods, his brow furrowing.

"Yar. Been keeping an eye out."

He's not entirely certain what to keep an eye out for, and this is a brilliant time to be finding it harder to focus on things, but still.

Faith nods.

"I have too, but...he changed his shape. He was a bird, when he came in, and then turned into a human when we were talking. So, if he can do that...hard to keep an eye out."

Beat.

"Also my head hurts so much it's hard to concentrate."

That's a big admission, coming from Faith, and only the fact that she trusts Cuthbert absolutely keeps her from trying to hide it.

Cuthbert nods, with a slight, rueful smile.

Nothing, for a moment.

When he speaks, it's in a low voice. "Not doing so great on the concentration thing myself, really."

It's a fairly big admission on his part, as well.

"Yeah?"

Faith looks up at him, most of the 'omg headache ow' in her expression fading into concern for him.

"You get whammied too, or is there somebody I should be beating up for you?"

Cuthbert's smile widens a bit, and he shakes his head.

"Nothing like that. It's..."

He pauses, trailing off, then looks up at her, his expression solemn.

"It's something I'd not burden you with if I could help it, not right now, but...something you should know. And something all of Security's going to know soon enough, anyway."

Faith sits a little straighter, her eyebrows going up.

"...If you'd speak, I'd hear."

He's said that to HER enough times, it's only fair she return the favor once.

Her use of the phrase gets another slight smile, but it doesn't last long.

"It's...I can't remember now who I've said this to and who I haven't--" another thing that would be troubling if he didn't understand its cause, "But a few of us...Susan, and Alain, and Sheemie and I...we've always had the sense that this place was a waystation. Somewhere we'd stay for a time, but...not the last stop on our journey, ye ken?"

Faith no longer looks pained, or concerned.

In fact, her face has drained of all emotion.

"...yeah. I...ken."

Cuthbert glances at her for a moment. Then, his gaze drop.

"It's getting harder. To...be here, I guess. Nothing to do with any of the people here, but--we're tired. Distracted. Been that way for a while...and it's not going away, or getting any better."

Faith is silent for a second, and then she moves from her chair, sitting next to him on the sofa, taking his hands in hers.

"I'll miss you. All of you."

Cuthbert goes on, almost as if he were talking to himself.

"The door leads to the clearing at the end of the path, for us. Our world's afterlife. And...we all have people waiting for us there. Susan's father. Mine, too. People dear to us all."

He grips her hand tightly. "It's just...there are people dear to us all here, as well."

"I understand."

She doesn't even flinch at the hand-squeezing, even though Bert has a pretty strong grip.

"Nobody stays forever, but knowing that doesn't make it easy."

"No."

He squeezes her hand again briefly, and then looks up at her.

"But thanks. For understanding."

"Welcome."

Faith smiles, faintly.

"Save a place for me there, yeah?"

Cuthbert smiles as well. It's a bit shaky.

"'Course."

He lets go of her hand, then, and reaches over to hug her.

She hugs him back, tightly but carefully.

"Say hello to Roland for me."

Cuthbert swallows hard, and then nods.

"Aye. When we see him."

"When are you leaving?"

Cuthbert pulls back a bit.

"We're not sure. Soon, but...we're not just going to go tearing out of here. We all want to take the time to say our goodbyes properly."

Faith nods, understanding, and offers up a faint smile.

"Well, I have it on fairly good authority that I'm gonna live for at least another 25 years, so I guess I'd better bug you all as much as possible in the interim, before..."

Second gunslinger, same couch, cigarette.

Cuthbert nods to him, with a small, crooked smile.

Alain nods back, with a smile the mirror of Cuthbert's.

It's Alain. Actual conversation is not considered necessary.

Cuthbert's always been glad of having someone he can let himself be still around.

...That is, when he's in the mood to be still.

Which is the case more and more often, these days.

But right now, there are things to be said--even if they aren't particularly cheerful.

"Seen Lilly at all since you talked to her?"

"No."

The broodiness is back. Around Cuthbert, he doesn't have to pretend.

My, that cigarette is fascinating.

Say sorry doesn't quite seem to cover this.

Instead, Cuthbert just reaches across the space between them, holding out one hand.

A glance flicked sideways, and his expression relaxes into a sad, crooked half-smile.

His hand turns over, and grasps Cuthbert's.

Silence, for a moment.

Then,

"Will she be alright, do you think?"

Alain breathes in, and out.

He doesn't answer right away.

Then, "You remember her part in saving Wash."

Cuthbert glances sidelong at him, his brow furrowing.

"Aye?"

"A price for it, Raven said. For each of them. To change ka so."

He's looking out at the bar, without really focusing on anything.

"She didn't ask hers till after. Wouldn't tell me, just said it'd be okay."

"What--"

Cuthbert pauses, bites his lip, and then begins again.

"...Did she ever tell you?"

"Not..." A small, equivocal motion with his head. "Enough to guess."

He slants a glance at Cuthbert. Tired. He's trying not to have guilt show there, too; it may or may not work.

"Al--"

Cuthbert breaks off helplessly, not knowing what to say. He just grips Alain's hand, worry for both him and Lilly written across his face.

It's the end of the answer to Cuthbert's original question.

"Is there..."

Is there anything we can do before we go? he wants to ask. Anything to make it easier when we do.

"Fuck."

A soft, humorless breath of laughter. He turns his half-forgotten cigarette over in his fingers.

There's not much more to be said, besides that.

Cuthbert lets go of Alain's hand, and slings his arm loosely around Alain's shoulders, and does the best he can without words.

Alain leans into him, just a bit.

Cuthbert's the only friend outside the clearing these days who knows him inside and out, from boyhood through death. And after. And Alain loves him for it.

What peace there is at Milliways is in friends.