milliways_bar | (no subject)

"You sure? 'Cause I worry you get all whispery."

He shakes his head again and leans on Charlie with his eyes closed.

"Sometimes I like the quiet."

Charlie smiles and wraps his arms around him. "I'll hush, then."

He does keep one hand free for pancakes, though.

And he curls up into a tight ball, long arms wrapped around long legs. He rests his head on Charlie's shoulder at first before burying his nose in the crook of Charlie's neck.

Silence is not something Charlie does well. After a moment he starts humming, his fingers still moving slowly over Darien's hair.

And Darien's breathing goes a little easier, not so tight, not so controlled. His muscles loosen, as they'd been tensed, and he flops a little.

Charlie sips a little water and looks down at him again. "Tell me what happened, love," he says quietly.

"Nothing," and really, it wasn't much of anything. Just...something he hadn't expected out of the mouth of the last person he'd ever expected to hear it from at just the wrong moment. He wasn't even mad so much as just...hurt and he wishes he could be confused, but he's not. He's in shock and he's numb but he wishes he were number because it still fricking hurts and now he's worrying Charlie.

Fuck.

"Uh-huh."

He doesn't press, though. Just more kisses and Darien's head tucked against his neck.

And more humming. He hardly realizes he's doing it.

He just buries his head a little further and gradually moves from hugging himself into a little ball into clinging around Charlie.

There's not much he can do with an armful of Darien, aside from hold the armful of Darien, so he holds and kisses and touches his face lightly to soothe him.

The words come, very soft, for an audience of one.

Who knows how long I've loved you
You know I love you still
Will I wait a lonely lifetime
If you want me to--I will.

For if I ever saw you
I didn't catch your name
But it never really mattered
I will always feel the same.

Love you forever and forever
Love you with all my heart
Love you whenever we're together
Love you when we're apart.

And when at last I find you
Your song will fill the air
Sing it loud so I can hear you
Make it easy to be near you
For the things you do endear you to me
You know I will
I will.

He just curls a little tighter.

"You're not going anywhere, right, Charlie?"

So quiet, so low...he almost didn't say it.

"Not today. Probably not tomorrow. Quite unlikely the day after that." He kisses Darien's forehead. "It's just a song."

He almost laughs but it ends up choking him, catching in his throat and he holds a little tighter.

"I know."

"Right. Not everything I do is laced with subliminal meaning. And if there is a subliminal meaning it's usually, 'I'd like some sex, please.'"

Puppy eyes and a hand out and, ala Oliver Twist.

"Please, sir, can I have some more?"

"Can you wait until the hangover lifts?"

Pause.

"Or do you mean more singing?"

He chuckles, something faint and dark and sad still in his eyes but slowly fading.

"Nothing specific. Singing. Sex."

He opens his mouth wide.

"Pancake?"

"Pancake." He gives Darien a forkful. "Sex may have to wait a little. Singing, though . . . that's easy. Except for the deciding on which song part. It's an embarassment of riches, it is."

He shakes his head once more before taking the forkful of pancake, chewing it with a pleased little smile before nuzzling Charlie's cheek and settling at the crook of his neck again. But he feels better.

He likes the smile. The smile is a good step.

He still sings softly. This is just for Darien.

There are places I'll remember
All my life though some have changed
Some forever not for better
Some have gone and some remain
All these places have their moments
With lovers and friends I still can recall
Some are dead and some are living
In my life I've loved them all

But of all these friends and lovers
There is no one compares with you
And these memories lose their meaning
When I think of love as something new
Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more

Though I know I'll never lose affection
For people and things that went before
I know I'll often stop and think about them
In my life I love you more
In my life I love you more

"I don't know what I'd do without you, Charlie. I don't. know."

Charlie doesn't say anything for a moment, then smiles and murmurs, "You'd be snapped up by some other lucky sod who'd appreciate your poofy hair, I hope."

He just curls around Charlie again.

"Aw, baby . . ." He holds Darien tighter. "I love you, you silly puppy. You make me happy. You're lovely and darling and I adore you. Poofy hair and all."