milliways_bar | (no subject)

What? Did you think this wouldn't touch the animal patrons as well?

Looks like human[oid] females aren't the only ones cycling in the bar this month.

There's a large, cougar-like cat roaming between the tables, yowling, screaming and, every now and then, will roll about on the floor the way you've seen housecats do.

It would appear that being around a large number of hormonal women has caused Tasha to come into heat. Or rather, the scent of dozens of women going through their monthly cycles has caused her to come into heat. Or maybe it's empathy that's led her to this state.

Then again it could just be a funny case of coincidence that Ian's lir is in estrus and acting very friendly to everyone, rubbing against them and purring loud enough to pass for a car engine.

Either way, there's a cat who's perhaps the only one enjoying this time of the month - much to Ian's chagrin.

[This post weirds me out in all sorts of ways and that's why I have to write it.

Stupid muses...]

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Oh great. They've both gone nearly catatonic from embarrassment-induced shock.

"I am sorry. It must be Tasha's state that made me say what I did. I apologise; both for her and for me."

Zuko's been rendered mute.

He nods.

And is still purple in the face.

Can he die now?

He can, but it won't be peaceful, and this is something that's likely to follow you into your next life.

With a silent command he calls off Tasha, or rather, convinces her to rest somewhere that doesn't involve any more people.

Because Ian is just one man.

"Do you drink? If so then perhaps I could have the service here bring us some liquor?"

Zuko blinks back to reality, and then shakes his head. "No," he says. "I'm afraid I can't indulge. Doesn't mix with with my-- hot blood."

The same thing that gives him those warm lovely hands that Tasha loved ... well, they make it hard to drink.

Ah well. Perhaps it is for the best.

"Then I shall have to drink alone, or do you mind that?"

As to Tasha, she's currently playing with a very large dust bunny.

Hey it keeps her occupied and away from the other patrons.

Pfft. Zuko didn't mind being her personal heatmassager... so long as he kept her front end, thanks.

"I don't," Zuko says. "It's alright. I have tea."

And that's the thing about cats. You want the front end? They give you the back end and act like it's a compliment to have their ass in your face too.

"Good," he says as a rat comes scurrying over, careful to avoid the large cat who's still playing with the dust bunny. "Because I believe, after this night, I may need a good deal of liquor in order to cope with Tasha's excessive friendliness towards others."

"Can you--" he thinks on this, still red-faced. "Can you take her to the world beyond the door and let her... find a friend?" Would that work? You know, take her out, get her laid, yadda yadda...

"You mean a mate?" He looks down at Tasha, who has given up on the dust bunny and is now reaching up to rub her cheek against Ian's.

"Lir off me please?" he grumbles in the Old Tongue. "I am in danger of falling over and having my head smashed like a glass egg."

She doesn't listen; she just turns up the purr-o-meter.

"I could do that, but I have not seen a door since I arrived here. Or taking her back to Homana to find one of her own kind to serve as her companion would not be so difficult."

Having no idea what Ian just said, Zuko shrugs. "The door went away for me, too," he says. "I hope-- to go home eventually." HE HAS A MISSION TO COMPLETE. And, also, he wants to go home.

But, that idea is shot.

"And you probably can't restrict her, can you?" KEep her to a single room, a private place...

And since he won't mate with her himself... well...

"Guess you're out of luck."

"I believe," he grunts, trying to pry Tasha off of his body before she crushes him, "That this tavern supplies roomes for patrons in need?"

Tasha OFF! he says silently to the cat.

"If so, I would be most grateful to be given one, if only to protect people like you from a cat who has forgotten her size."

Zuko rises, and then reaches out to try and help. C'mere, lady, he'll pet you again with the warm hands if you don't MAUL him...

"Yes-- Ah, I believe you just ask bar for a room and a key. Someone else got me my room, so I don't know the speciifcs..."

Of course, she'll just roll around and yowl in there, but at least no one will be squished.

They'll just lose a night's worth of sleep, that's all. Something which is easily made up in Millitime.

Oh kind man with warm hands...

"And there is someone there who will give me the means to access a room for Tasha?"

Oh leijhana-tu'sai* for this...

"Where is this bar then?"

*That's "thank you" in Ian's language. ^^

Zuko pets the niiiiice big kitty, and strokes her sides. There, there, you poor horny thing, Zuko -- has no idea what it's like, but he sure it must be TORTURE to be so happy and randy.

"Right over here," Zuko says with a jerk of his head in the direction of the Bar. "Just tell it what you need."

She'll get over it though. Heat cycles may be a bitch and a half but they don't last forever.

"That is the bar?" he asks. "I see no one in attendance." He thinks a moment. "Perhaps they have simply gone into the backroom to fetch something from their stores?"

"Uh. The Bar's-- special. Speak to it." Zuko grins, and then says, "I know it sounds insane, but it works."

Insane, but then Ian is known to speak aloud to his lir, regardless of whether anyone is listening in or not. And when she's not in view? You might swear he was a madman tripping on some kind of weird drug.

"I ... ask this bar and it will give me what I desire?"

It can't hurt.

"Bar Master," he says, "I require a place for my companion while she is in the state she is. I do not want the people in this bar to be accidentally harmed while she is like this."

Oddly, the bar complies, much to Ian's astonishment.

"I believe I now have quarters in this place," he says, staring at the keys dangling from their fob.

Isnt' that fab? Zuko continues to rub-down the happy kitty, and then says, "How are you going to get her up there is the question?" he asks, and looks down. "She's been hardly listening to you now..."

Simple.

"I head for the room, and it is likely she will follow me."

That's the plan though.

"She's in enough of a mood to sufficiently suffocate me that she will follow my lead into this room that the bar has given me."

Let's hope so.

Let's pray there are no distractions either.

Distractions like the hot hot massage hands of doom?

Zuko takes them away. "Good luck to you, then."

Yeah those would qualify as a distraction.

"Thank you. I believe it is time I quarantined my lir..."

Tasha we go now, he says and makes his way in what he hopes is the direction of the rooms.