milliways_bar | (no subject)

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There be a Perunu inna bar. Witha baby. And a resume.

...what, just because he's a successful business man doesn't mean he's about to muck up the chance to be a high priest. Especially considering the possible biscuits.

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Ask and ye shall recieve... or something.

At any rate, the pair are joined by a god. Not a God anymore, sadly, just a god.

"Someone was thinking about me," he says brightly. "It's been a while since I felt that particular sort of prickle."

"Wasn't prickling." he asserts as he sips at his tea, "just bringing in the resume. Said I would, didn't I?"

"Ah!" Geoff replies with an even wider grin. "I had thought you were perhaps speaking metaphorically. So hard to tell sometimes."

"What's metaphorical about bringing in a resume, mate?"

He holds out the single sheet with his various work experience, accomplishments, and all manner of thins.

"You still interested?"

Geoff looks over the sheet with a critical eye. In truth, at least half of it doesn't make sense to him, and most of the other half, he wouldn't care about anyway. But a large part of being a god is keeping up appearances, so he appears to be scrutinizing the CV fairly well.

"Well," he says after a couple of minutes, "everything appears to be in order here. I suppose the real question is, what would separate you as an actual priest above and beyond a simple believer?"

"I'm willing to admit, as a red-blooded straight man, that I like to bake."

"And no small feat that, to be sure. But if I'm going to invest some of my powers into you, I need to know that it won't be an idle sacrifice. I need to be certain that you'll bring my teachings and works to others and bring them to believe as well. So doing, my power can increase, and thereby, yours."

His features go just a bit confused for a moment, and then he chuckles. "Sorry! Didn't mean to whip out the Divine Voice on you. But you get the idea, yeah?"

He nods.

"Course. All I'm saying is that I've got baking in the blood, more relatives than there are rooms in this place, and two kids at home growing up."

He holds up Andrei, who's mostly asleep.

"Besides, if m'Gran taught me anything, it's that a biscuit and a bit of tea can fix ninty percent of what's wrong with anyone."

"And if you're in a real pinch, you can even do without the tea!" he agrees with a conspiratorial wink.

He claps his hands together. "Right, then. Well, first thing, I'll need you to make a shrine. Nothing big for starters, mainly just need an icon of me and an altar for offerings. And it just so happens, I have the first one right here."

Geoff extends his arm, which disappears up to the elbow. The rest of his arm moves, as if searching for something. After a moment, he retracts his arm, which reappears holding a photograph.

"Portable hole. Useful god trick," he explains, handing over the picture.

It's a professional-looking headshot, black and white, with a list of credits on the back... mostly commercials for things like Bisquik and Pillsbury.

"I... toyed with acting for a bit," Geoff says sheepishly. "Had to pay the bills, you know!"

Gary takes the picture with absolute solemnity and puts it away where Andrei won't chew on it.

"Will do. And don't worry about the acting bit. Everybody does it when they need the money."

He smiles graciously.

"As for the altar, you just need a large cauldron or bowl of some sort. Stone, iron... stainless steel could work in a pinch. No copper or glass. Encourage offerings of ingredients -- flour, sugar, water, eggs, that kind of thing. No big prayers or anything are required, but a quick 'thanks, Geoff' as the offerings are given wouldn't go amiss.

"Once you've got that set up and there's a couple of offerings, I'll be able to invest power in you through the shrine so that you can perform miracles in my name."

He pauses.

"They won't be great miracles at first, but you gotta start somewhere."

"Getting to eat one of em before the little ones eat them all's enough miracle for me."

Geoff laughs. "Priests always get first dibs. While they're still warm, in fact!"

He was a middle child.

He was a middle child in... might be eight now.

"You've got my eternal devotion right there, mate."

"Marvellous!" the god beams. "You just go ahead and get that shrine taken care of, then, and when you've got it, make a little offering, and I'll know. Then we can finalize everything!"

Ahhh, the power of belief. It's a bit intoxicating.

He's got Gary's belief.

The fate of his eternal soul was one thing, but knowing there'd always be a biscuit on the plate for him was a right solid thing for a man to believe in and appreciate.

Which is why Geoff was so successful, back in the day. Salvation after death is all well and good, but a bikkie right from the oven? Now that's paradise.

"I'll get right on it."

He grins and laughs just a little, rocking Andrei carefully in one arm.

"Our flat's a load of bloody pagans, now, isn't it? Grand stuff. Dick, my mate from way back, he's following Loki and now, you've got me."

He grins again.

"Grand stuff."

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