milliways_bar | (no subject)

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Sitting at the bar sipping a coke and wearing a long, loose skirt and a peasant blouse with sandals, with her dark hair done up in Princess Leia cinnamon rolls, is Inari Raith. Open in front of her is a large hardback book about Feng Shui and her eyes flicker as she scans the pages. Every now and then she lifts a hand and turns the page.

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"Oh right," she says. "Thats why you asked if it was a magic book then?"

"Yep. Because it sounded like one of those weird arcane texts that Magrat was always so fond of. Feng Shui. It would fit in perfectly with Malleus Malificarium and Necrotelecomnicon."

"Never heard of those, sorry. Is Margaret your sister?"

"It's Magrat, actually. Mag-rat," Agnes corrects politely. "And, no, she's not my sister. She's the Queen of Lancre. She also used to be the junior witch of the coven that I'm in now. When she went off to become a queen, Granny Weatherwax and Nanny Ogg picked me to be the new third, so I got Magrat's old cottage with all her witching things, like her magic books."

"Lancre? Is that in Europe?"

A shake of the head.

"I have no idea where that is, so I'm going to say no. It's on the Discworld."

"... I've never heard of the Discworld."

"Most people here haven't. It's a planet shaped like a disc. It sits on the backs of four giant elephants, who ride on the back of an even bigger turtle."

Agnes gets look that clearly says 'you have GOT to be kidding.'

She's used to that look around here, actually.

"No, I'm serious! There are a bunch of other people from there, too. You can ask them."

"Okay..." she says, still sounding very uncertain.

Agnes smiles sweetly.

"It's okay. I had the same reaction when I found out that people live on ball-shaped planets without falling off."

"Haven't you ever heard of gravity?"

"Of course I have. Which is why it doesn't make sense. Gravity pulls things down. So if you're on the bottom or the sides of a ball, you fall off."

Inari gives her a long, serious stare before she trys to explain.

"Gravity works on all sides of the ball. Like... did you ever do that thing when you were a kid, where you fill a bucket with water and swing it round your head?"

"... Noooo. Why would you want to do that? You'd get all wet."

"But thats the point though! You don't get wet! The same way the water stays in the bucket, poeople sty on the Earth."

"That doesn't make a lot of sense. Magic's so much easier to understand."

"I'm sure there's a long scientific explanation that could explain it better than me," she says. "I don't know enough to explain it properly."

Agnes shrugs.

"I'll just go with believing it's a different kind of magic, I think. I'm Agnes, by the way. Sorry, I tend to forget that part a lot."

"Nice to meet you Agnes," she says smiling. "I'm Inari."

"That's a pretty name. Not like Agnes."

Agnes is of the opinion that no child should ever be named Agnes. Such a name should only be awarded to a person when they receive their first walking cane.

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