milliways_bar | (no subject)

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As it turns out, Vinnie wasn't responsible for the bar in my house - that was just some strange happenstance of the space-time continuum. He did try to steal my biology paper though, but, as it turns out, he learned his lesson and ended up writing the paper himself. Sometimes those life lessons do get through.

"And sometimes I end up walking into a bar instead of a patient's room. What is with this place?"

Seventeen year old doctor wearing his lab coat and carrying a clipboard looking mildly annoyed at his re-entry to Milliways.

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"I was ten when 'Nam started." Give or take. He remembered watching it on the television. He remembered his mother sitting by the phone, waiting for the call that said his father wouldn't come home. But he had come home.

House sits back down, and rubs the handle of his cane under his chin. "A little advice from you to me, kid. Don't trust women. Don't let your girlfriend have the right to make medical decisions. Even if she is a lawyer."

He shifts the cane and taps it against his forehead before going back to rubbing it under his chin. "I had an infarction, initially misdiagnosed as muscle strain. By the time I figured it out, a third of the muscle was dead. My doctor wanted to amputate. I refused to sign the papers. I asked for a medically induced coma, and my girlfriend authorised a debridement to remove the necrotic tissue. I've tried every pain management option out there, and Vicodin is the only thing that works so I can function."

Doogie takes a seat as he starts talking and just - listens. He might take a couple notes on the blank sheet of paper at the back of the chart he's been holding since he stepped into the bar - nothing major, just notes for himself.

"Is the pain regularly at an 8, or does is usually stay lower than that?"

"It's at an 8 because I had my pills an hour ago. Might hit 8 1/2 or 9, but it'll drop a lot quicker."

"It only drops to 8 when you take the meds?"

This he finds unusual, but he doesn't know of anything different that would help. Not right now anyway.

"Without the meds, I can't function."

He makes a few more notes.

"And how many pills do you take a day?" He looks up. "I'm just trying to get a handle on how severe the pain is," he adds as explanation.

He's feeling agitated now. He just wants his damn pills. But he knows the proper numbers in his head. "I take two every six hours. Eight a day, 10 if you go midnight to midnight."

"All right." He nods again and makes another note.

Then a few more. Maybe he's stalling a little - make 'dad' sweat a bit.

"If I give you this," he scribbles his name on the 'script sheet, "you can't aske me again for a month." He looks up at House. "Which means, if you take more than the recommended dosage, you're dependent on whatever the bar will give you until the month is up."

He tears the sheet off the 'script pad. "Deal?" He holds the page just out of House's reach.

House eyes the script. "I'm not an addict looking for a fix. I'm in legitimate pain."

"I understand that. If I thought you were an addict, I wouldn't write the 'script at all."

He hands over the 'script. "Use it wisely, young Jedi."

House all but sntaches the paper. "Thanks, son. You're not so bad after all."

"Yeah? Just don't take advantage of it. One day I might get all defiant on you. I am still a teenager."

"I'll keep that in mind." House sets the script on the bar and it disappears, replaced by a bottle of pills. He picks it up and shakes it, opens the lid to look at the pills. He's smart enough, for the moment, not to take one.

"Okay then, where's my sweet new car? That was the deal, right? Pills for you, a car for me?"

"I'm thinking that would look a bit like a drug deal, don't you think? A car in exchange for pills. That's dangerous territory, son."

"Not if we don't tell anyone. Since I'm going to tell people you're my dad, I'll just tell 'em you bought it for me for my birthday."

"What makes you think I have money to buy a car?"

"You're my dad. Dad's always have money."

"What good is a car going to do you in a bar?"

"Hey, it's a magic bar. One never knows what might come in handy."

"Good point. But I'm not magic, and there's no car dealers around that I know of."

"Damn. You mean, you can't just ask the bar? Like when you dropped the 'script and got your pills..."

Pause dramatically...

"Hey! How'd you do that anyway?"

"Car's a bit bigger than a bottle of pills, son." House laughs. "You said yourself, it's a magic bar. Sentient."

"I said the place was magic. I didn't know that the bar itself was magic."

He narrows his eyes. "Sentient? It's alive?"

"More or less. And trust me, you don't want to pissher off. She'll take care of you, if you take care of her. No sex, no violence, no business in the bar. Whatever happened outside stays outside." He realises he sounds a little bit paternal, and clears his throat.