milliways_bar | (no subject)

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You know how you have those nights where you can't sleep? You toss and you turn, you doze off and then the slightest thing jerks you awake again, and then in the morning you feel cloudy-headed and grumpy at everything?

Ajedrez had one of those nights. And thus she is grumpy at everything.

Not her breakfast, though. The breakfast is a good breakfast. Just, the rest of the world which isn't nice, hot food.

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"And now I keep him on his toes. In his defense, he was cursed at the time."

It goes around Milliways like the plague.

"He doesn't need to be cursed."

"Yes, but he knows better than to fuck with me when he's not, so I was excusing his judgement, not his morals. Not a man's fault when he can't remember that the boyfriend's going to sit on your chest and take the eyes back out again, then the tongue and the fingers and ears too."

Shooting. Ramon. Is. Bad.

(It's scary mostly because he says this absolutely cheerfully, in the same tone as discussing cello lessons.)

That gets a choked laugh. She doesn't attempt to eat, doesn't attempt to do anything, really, except to eye him. She's amused, never think that she isn't, but right now Random has a big label saying 'DO NOT CROSS. EVER' in flashing red lights in her head.

"Can I be you when I grow up? Please?"

"If you try very hard and spend nine thousand years learning that the best way to deal with annoying people is to go with your first instinct."

He smiles, innocently. Which is scary too. Butter wouldn't melt in his mouth.

"I'll try very, very hard then." She promises him, good girl (daddy's girl little princesss) sincerity.

"You'll do alright."

He honestly thinks this. Says it like he means it. She's going to be fine. This place won't break her. She's stronger than it is.

"Survivor type. Something in the eyes, I suppose."

"Like I'm sure you know, you don't last terribly long in the cartel world unless you can survive. But...gracias." Softly spoken, the last bit, and she means it. Thank you for saying that, thank you for meaning it.

"I'm sorry for it sometimes."

Watching Ramon get cought in the thought patterns of it. Trapped by what he thinks is expected of him.

A soft, nearly bitter laugh.

(and you want me to go with you meet me at la pileta bring only what's important to you i brought you a gift still mad didn't see it traitorous bitch)

"Sometimes...but it's addictive. Outwitting people like that."

"Hurts everyone, in the end."

Thinking of little Emanuel Salazar. Random thinks about him a lot, recently.

"I know."

She knows. She had that lesson taught to her twice, once when she was eight and innocent, and once when she was twenty.

"It's why I don't plan on having any children."

"Yeah."

A pained expression, briefly, like a summer storm, then gone again.

"Yeah."

Ramon looked similar, once upon a time, and somethin in her mind goes 'click'.

Not that she says anything, though.

Random's boy, though, he's alive and happy and he holds on to that. Fiercely. Two breaths in. That's allowed, then;

"Your father found time for a family?"

"Si. But, he was twenty when I was born, so I kinda get the impression it was a shot-gun wedding." A little rueful smile.

"'s always the way. That's how Ramon got together with his wife. Good, Catholic girl."

Practicality.

"So was Mama."

Was, not is.

"Maybe it's different from the men...my cousin Iago has four children at last count."

"There's always been a double standard. Guy sleeps around, he's a stud. Girl sleeps around, she's a whore. Peculiar."

Ridiculous, he means.

Ajedrez looks sour.

"Tell me about it."

"Some of us sympathise."

Random? Just uses the word 'whore' for both genders.

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