milliways_bar | (no subject)

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"....Sara, are you certain?"

"Who else would I feasibly ask? My brothers would all be fighting over it and I'd rather my Ada not settle the matter at sword-point."

A measured pause. "Good point."

A snicker. "Thought so."

Two CSIs for the price of one. Have at.

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"We could only identify the last victim," Gil says quietly. "The others are Jane Does, and we have no means of identifying them now."

"He said he didn't want to taint his memories of them," Sara adds, voice dark.

He works out what a Jane Doe is by the context and nods soberly.

"I'm sure you did everything you could. Sometimes we get those too, someone who just appears, dies, and nobody knows who they are."

Rubbing his forehead. "Although this week we've just had mass groups of people pretending to faint at the same time. Chaotic and annoying but not as upsetting."

"Yeah....I talked to Collins the other day. He said something about you getting mugged?"

Ooh, now he's fidgetting.

"Um, yeah, I did, yes." A small smile. "But I got my watch back when one of the kids turned up with a sprained ankle."

"..........." Sara's shoulders shake. But she's not laughing. Really. "Did he ever tell you that the same people who stole Collins' jacket tried to sell it back to him at a discount?"

"...Seriously?" He grins a little. "Well it wasn't entirely my own fault in this case. It's been really windy and when I was going to work one day last week there was this kid, about eight years old, stuck up a tree. And the wind was going crazy and I thought it was going to knock him down. So I phoned the fire brigade and then went up the tree. I'm not good with heights, as you probably know, so as soon as the wind got up I ended up dangling upside down by my ankles trapped in the fairy lights and holding onto the branches. Kid climbed down me and he was fine. I got rescued by the fire brigade, embarrassed by a dork with a camera, no harm done.
Next day I'm going to work, and there's another kid stuck up a tree. About twelve this time. So I go through the same process, except when I get about four foot up the tree I get grabbed by two other kids around the other side, handcuffed to the tree and mugged. They took my fake wallet, watch, tuning fork, a pair of rubber gloves and two cat biscuits. I got the watch back yesterday after the kid came into the department, and his mum's going to get my tuning fork back."

"Hopefully he won't be so stupid next time. You'll be more careful?"

He fidgets.

"I didn't do it on purpose. I mean, they were all hiding."

"I know, Guppy. But try paying a little more attention to your surroundings and how people are acting?"

He fidgets.

"Yeah, I know. Should have had alarm bells ringing with a kid of that age. I'm an idiot."

"No, you're a good man."

"Doesn't mean I'm not an idiot. But to be honest, if I thought I had to, I'd have done the same again. Because I'm not letting a kid fall out of a tree unless I have to."

"And I'd expect nothing else."

He shakes his head.

"I suppose at least now all their mothers are aware they might get stopped from going into real crime. They clearly hadn't had much practice. I told them my phone had a tracking device on it."

"And they believed that?" She sighs. "Well, as you say, better stop them now before they get into serious trouble. Want some coffee?"

He nods. "Yes please."

Running a hand through his hair.

"More professional question. Say someone is organising mass coordinated pretend fainting, we're talking more than thirty teens at a time, which keeps occurring at random and tying up a lot of ambulances and emergency departments. Can you think of any charges they could get pinned with? I need a good threat."

"Reckless endangerment of human life," she says promptly. "Tell them it would normally be a misdemeanor, but since those with real emergencies aren't getting sufficient care due to their actions, they are legally culpable for anything that might result."

He nods.

"Thanks. I was sure they could get charged with something. At the moment the problem is proving it. People pass out for all sorts of reasons."

"Just begin discussing possibility of charges in earshot. Will probably get the little brats pleading for leniency within a few minutes."

"Either that or they'll bolt. Which if they're actually injured by having landed on their own coccix would not be a good thing. Runaway patrons result in paperwork and, if we're suspected to have acted unprofessionally, a stern talk from Nathan about making the department look bad."

He gestures to the pile. "A third of that is runaway patient forms."

"...lovely. I enjoy the fact that perpetrators sometimes have more rights than victims and law enforcement officials," she says flatly.

"Yeah, Nathan appears to be almost enjoying it."

"Sounds like he and Ecklie would get along well." She finishes her coffee. "I have court in the morning...see you when I get back?"

He nods.

"I'm not going anywhere."

Squeezing her hand gently. "Good luck."

"Thanks."

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